The first morning I awoke in Calcutta, I was awakened not by the cacophony of loud crows, chatting friends, laughing kids, honking cars, bikes and rickshaws; no, it was when Raja dropped coins all over the floor in the room next door. From my enclosed purple mosquito netted bed, I asked, “are you up Raja?” He came to the door and shared the plan for the day, telling me to rest and take my time to wake up. He said he was walking to the fish market. When I asked if I could come, he said “they will rack up the prices.” He explained to me he was going early in the morning when the fish came in. He would do this for several days, and then he would take me, after he builds a relationship with them. Then they won’t rack up the price because they would lose his daily business. This led me to muse about myself. I am the yellow-haired woman for whom they raises the prices. Nevertheless, I love Calcutta!
This is day 31 in a 31 Day Blog Challenge – stay tuned for more about my trip to India! Follow me on my Energy Medicine DNA page on FB!
“I did my best, it wasn’t much, I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch.”
Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah
After traveling for about 20 hours, we flew into Dubai. I had not been to this airport before and was happy to see it was connected to a hotel and there was a spa where I could get a massage.
After making an appointment at the Spa, I caught up on my blog and chatted with the young man who ran the resource room. He was delighted to hear I was a psychic medium and I gave him my card. He reported he was from the Philippines and enjoyed working in Dubai. I was excited to get into have my massage so quickly, even though I had a six-hour layover. Unwittingly, I rejected the offer from Emirates Airlines (via email) to upgrade to business class. I thought I would be sleeping most of the time and the $350 seemed an unnecessary splurge. Not a smart move on my part. As it turned out, the seats in the Boeing 777 were close together and there was not much legroom to spread out.
When I approached the Spa counter, I changed my mind to a 90-minute appointment and it was well worth it. I started with a much needed shower to wash the airplane experience from my skin and to start afresh. The essential oils were delightful as the massage therapist began working on the backs of my legs. She took extra time on my lower legs and I thought she was stuck, like a record player, but soon realized after flying, that my legs (other than neck and back) needed the most nurturing!
In the dream state, as I received healing touch, I realized that massage was Universal! Whether I am in India, Ireland, Japan or the US, the process is similar. Depending upon our culture and the nurturing we received from our parents, the need for touch varies, but we all need to be touched.
After the massage I asked if she knew about Reiki and she did not. The next time I am on my way to India, I may stop over in Dubai and teach a Reiki weekend class! Thank goodness for touch! I feel so much better!
(Note: Didn’t have internet until today and I want to share, due to the massage, I have no jet-lag at all!)
“A sickly body does not indicate that a guru is not in touch with divine powers, any more than lifelong health necessarily indicates an inner illumination.
– Paramhansa Yogananda – Autobiography of a Yogi
As I fly over the ocean on my way to Kolkata, by way of Dubai, I am contemplating the next blog post. It seems fitting to share what I wrote on my last trip to India which was in 2010.
The first few days of my trip to India were about teaching me to listen to my intuition. One of the experiences where I didn’t listen to this gentle inner voice was at the train station in Mumbai. On the platform a young crippled man came up to me. He was scooting himself across the dirty cement of the station with his hands; his feet were twisted and he looked like one who was sitting with his legs curled up to his body. I reached into my purse and gave him some coins. My intuition said to give him 500 rupees, but I thought my travel mates would say no and so I didn’t. When I gave him the rupees, his eyes and mine met and there was an incredible light in his eyes. I felt like I had touched a power source and electricity ran through me. A few minutes later he crossed my path again and our eyes met, we smiled, connected and waved.
As I write this, days later, my eyes are tearing. When I went to our train compartment I shared my experience with my friend. He said “this is the first of many you will meet. That is why you were so touched.” I explained to him that I agreed I would meet many who were suffering or needy, but that this one is different. My intuitive self knew he was an enlightened being. My friend asked then why would this man have that kind of body?
I entered trance and began to share the information I received. I understood we are not our body. This physically crippled man has transcended his body. The reason he took on this body is that he came to the earth, this incarnation to be a light and to mirror to others. Everyone who looks at him will see him differently. I saw an enlightened being. Another person may experience anger, sadness, judgment or joy. He mirrored to us what we needed to see in ourselves at that time. I needed to see an enlightened being in a form that I did not expect. Another time I may experience him differently. If this experience was all that happened to me spiritually on this trip to India, it would have been enough, but so much more happened and I am so grateful. This incredible being gave me a healing I will remember forever.
As the trip continued I realized an important theme of this trip is we are all connected and we gift each other. In this case, I gave him rupees and I saw the soul he truly was. He gave me some kind of spiritual activation and awareness of myself; an understanding of what my life is about at this moment.
I hope that we can look at others in our lives and experience the healing of being mirrored by them.
“India shaped my mind, anchored my identity, influenced my beliefs, and made me who I am. …
India matters to me and I would like to matter to India.”
― Shashi Tharoor
As I continue in this relationship series and also pack for my trip to India, I am feeling a little reminiscent of my previous trip to India.
Today, I have a video blog. It is a little self-indulgent, but I’ll just present it as one way of being in relationship with oneself. Enjoy!
Travel has always created magical changes in my life and hopefully that of others. When I sat at the Tomb of Mother Teresa I cried and cried. It was cleansing and healing and she has now come to be one of my guides. I look forward to the many souls I will meet in the next few weeks! Blessings to all who read this post!
“I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad.
Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.”
When in sessions with clients, it is common they share memories and situations from the past. Memories from five, ten, twenty years ago surface as if they were happening right now. As they tell their story and express their feelings I can see the anger, fear, or sadness take over.
Healing the feelings from the past is important, but often there is the tendency to re-play the past and then the feelings don’t heal. The feelings deepen like water that flows to form a crevice in the earth.
What is great is you have control over what you think and this affects your feelings! It takes practice, but you can change this habit.
When you begin to re-play something from the past that is painful or negative. STOP. Think about what was positive about the person or experience. Write it down. This does not undo what you feel they did to you, but it does help free YOU from the past. You are in control!
Try writing about the situation from the outside looking in. Then write it again from the other person’s perspective. This can be amazing!
You can also replace the negative memory with another experience that was positive. For instance I image playful times with my friends or my experience swimming with spinner dolphins.
You have more direct control over changing your thinking than your feelings so think yourself into feeling happy, joyful and alive!
“The power of belief, the absolutely awesome incredible power of belief, is the genie in your life. Let me say that again.
The absolutely awesome incredible power of belief, is the genie in your life.” — Eldon Taylor
12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine shares about self-healing and healing others.
This is an excerpt from my #1 Best-selling book. (p. 149)
When teaching Reiki healing for many years, I have told my students that we all have the ability to heal. Many clients experienced their own ability to feel energy and heal themselves as well as others in this process.
An illustration of this principle involved a client of mine with cancer who was in the hospital preparing for surgery. I asked my students to meet me there and use Reiki to help calm her and assist in the healing process. When the doctors located a blood clot and could not operate, I invited my students, as well as the client’s mother and sister, to assist me in laying hands on the client. After talking with the nurse in charge, I understood the clot needed to dissolve before they could operate. We all imaged this as we did the healing. A period of a half hour or so went by, and when I felt an immediate sense that the healing was complete, I asked the nurse to check again. They did, and the clot was gone. The client was subsequently able to receive the needed surgery, the mother and sister of the patient were able to be helpful, and my students’ confidence in their healing ability increased. It was a glorious day!
We are all connected to the Source, and we all have the ability to channel this love. Here are some exercises to practice so that you can define your beliefs and connect with the God of your heart, as well as get in touch with your own healing abilities.
“Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them.” Blanche
“Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive.” Kate”
Recently at Interplayers Theatre, I saw the play Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon. It was an incredible performance that exemplified the topic at hand – conflict.
The story is about Eugene, an adolescent, Jewish boy in 1937. He recalls his memories of living with his parents, aunt, two female cousins, and his brother at a time when he was going through puberty, sexual fantasy, poverty, and living in a crowed home. In this play, Eugene Jerome, played by Nich Witham, gave an over-exaggerated sense (in a fantastic performance) of not being heard and doing what he could to find his place and get his needs met in this family.
This play was a great backdrop for me to expound on how to resolve conflict and the pitfalls of communication. Here are some helpful steps.
Clear with this person on an energetic level.
1. Ground your energy. Here is a video that will teach you to do this. http://bit.ly/wBHJbh
2. You have an aura around you which is part of your energetic self. Imagine pulling your aura in around your body. Pull it in about 6 – 8 inches around you.
3. Focus in your heart and bring your attention out of the top of your head into the heavens.
4. Image the person there with you. At this level, send them love from your heart. You may also imagine sending them golden white Light from your heart.
5. If you can do this without anger or negative feelings, talk with them at this level
6. Come back down, image yourself filling up with golden white Light and release any leftover energy down your grounding cord.
Steps to resolve conflict in person.
1. Write out the situation in your journal and then re-read it the next day. Sometimes it helps to do this a few times, so that you can become clear on what happened and what you want to communicate.
2. Become aware of your own part of the situation, even if you perceive it to be minor in comparison to the other person.
3. If you are angry, look at where you may be feeling hurt or fearful. These emotions are often right under the surface of anger. Feel your feelings and let them go. Journal them over and over if need be.
4. Contact the person you are having conflict with and use clear, direct, honest communication. I suggest you meet in person (not via text or email) because this allows you not only to read the body language, but also to open your heart.
5. Give the other person the chance to communicate their side completely. It is helpful to use the words, “I heard you say,” and repeat back to them what you heard and let them clarify. This helps them to feel heard. You can hear what someone is saying without agreeing with them. It is important that you hear.
6. Once the other person feels heard, share your side. They may not listen well and you may not feel heard. If that is the case use the broken record method. Continue to say the core message again and again, “I hear what you say, and ______.” Yes, that is true, and _______.” Do this until they are able to understand they are not hearing you.
7. Make a request of the person such as “My request is we put this behind us and go on from here,” or “My request is that we continue to meet and talk weekly until we can resolve this.” You can use whatever it is that you desire.
8. Trust your intuition, and use as many of these steps as you would like. If the person is not willing to meet with you or clear the situation with you, then move on and let it go. No longer allow them into your energy field and set healthy boundaries. (I will share more about this in a future video and blog.)
Sometimes people have a hard time clearing conflict because of negative communication patterns. Often these reactions were learned in early childhood as a survival response to a dysfunctional family. In this case they may triangle in other people to take sides, or become passive aggressive and rather than talking with you directly, they will be passive in their aggression in a subversive manner.
One of the books I recommend for healthy communication is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
You can find other valuable information at http://candesscampbell.com/books/self-help-toolbox
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.”
― Robert Fripp
Decided to lighten up today in the conversation about relationships. Last night I attended the Spokane Songwriter’s Open Mic. One of the ways I nurture myself is by listening to music and especially local musicians.
We all have our tribes, our people, those we feel most comfortable with. For me it has been my musician friends.
I’m delighted to share with you The Brad Keeler Trio; Brad Keeler, Jim Pittman and Linda Parman. The song Front Porch Swing was written by Brad Keeler.
“They danced slow circles in the sand, Javier singing the words to the Spanish version of the song, the melancholy music putting a strange ache in his chest, an ache he saw reflected in her eyes. Was she feeling what he was feeling?”
― Pamela Clare, First Strike
In Spokane, it is warmer down by the river and it was a beautiful morning for a walk. A group of us gathered to explore People’s Park and then meet at the Elk for lunch and conversation.
Most of us are single and so we had a fun discussion about relationships. Organically, the conversation drifted toward former relationships, dating and intimacy. It makes sense that how one behaves on a first date depends on values, religion, feeling safe, past behavior and I am sure a boatload of other reasons. Note to self – boatload – great Scrabble word.
Keeping with the theme of relationships, after we shared what we enjoyed about past relationships and what we wanted to create in the future, I created some questions to ponder.
- If you meet someone and there is strong physical attraction, do you kiss on the first date?
- How long do you need to know someone before you become sexually active?
- How many dates before you become exclusive?
- Once you are exclusive, is it okay for him/her to stay friends his/her ex?
- What do you do to scratch the surface and see what he/she is really made of?
- What do you do when he/she says they love you on the first date?
- When you first meet, do you believe what he/she tell you or do you wait to meet his/her friends or family?
- How do you tell him/her you are not interested, without hurting his/her feelings?
What are your beliefs about first dates and relationships?