On the first date – Really?

“They danced slow circles in the sand, Javier singing the words to the Spanish version of the song, the melancholy music putting a strange ache in his chest, an ache he saw reflected in her eyes. Was she feeling what he was feeling?” 
― Pamela Clare, First Strike

In Spokane, it is warmer down by the river and it was a beautiful morning for a walk.  A group of us gathered to explore People’s Park and then meet at the Elk for lunch and conversation.

Most of us are single and so we had a fun discussion about relationships. Organically, the conversation drifted toward former relationships, dating and intimacy.  It makes sense that how one behaves on a first date depends on values, religion, feeling safe, past behavior and I am sure a boatload of other reasons. Note to self – boatload – great Scrabble word.

Keeping with the theme of relationships, after we shared what we enjoyed about past relationships and what we wanted to create in the future, I created some questions to ponder.

• If you meet someone and there is strong physical attraction, do you kiss on the first date?

• How long do you need to know someone before you become sexually active?

• How many dates before you become exclusive?

• Once you are exclusive, is it okay for him/her to stay friends his/her ex?

• What do you do to scratch the surface and see what he/she is really made of?

• What do you do when he/she says they love you on the first date?

• When you first meet, do you believe what he/she tell you or do you wait to meet his/her friends or family?

• How do you tell him/her you are not interested, without hurting his/her feelings?

What are your beliefs about first dates and relationships?

---