On the first date – Really?

“They danced slow circles in the sand, Javier singing the words to the Spanish version of the song, the melancholy music putting a strange ache in his chest, an ache he saw reflected in her eyes. Was she feeling what he was feeling?” 
 Pamela ClareFirst Strike

In Spokane, it is warmer down by the river and it was a beautiful morning for a walk.  A group of us gathered to explore People’s Park and then meet at the Elk for lunch and conversation.

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Most of us are single and so we had a fun discussion about relationships. Organically, the conversation drifted toward former relationships, dating and intimacy.  It makes sense that how one behaves on a first date depends on values, religion, feeling safe, past behavior and I am sure a boatload of other reasons. Note to self – boatload – great Scrabble word.

Keeping with the theme of relationships, after we shared what we enjoyed about past relationships and what we wanted to create in the future, I created some questions to ponder.

  • If you meet someone and there is strong physical attraction, do you kiss on the first date?
  • How long do you need to know someone before you become sexually active?
  • How many dates before you become exclusive?
  • Once you are exclusive, is it okay for him/her to stay friends his/her ex?
  • What do you do to scratch the surface and see what he/she is really made of?
  • What do you do when he/she says they love you on the first date?
  • When you first meet, do you believe what he/she tell you or do you wait to meet his/her friends or family?
  • How do you tell him/her you are not interested, without hurting his/her feelings?

What are your beliefs about first dates and relationships?

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2 Comments on “On the first date – Really?”

  1. Wowza! All great questions! I find I can’t really answer the majority of those before the date as so much depends for me on the actual guy I’m on the date with. There are a couple that are universal answers for me, but the others depend. That’s part of the excitement of dating for me. Being present in that moment in time.

  2. Bonnie Gean says:

    I hesitate to answer some of those questions because the situation would be different, depending on the guy I’m out with, but thank goodness I’m married and don’t need to ponder these questions again! ROFL

    YES, if I was physically attracted and he wanted to kiss me… I let him! 🙂


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