Posted: November 3, 2014
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Most people who know me say that I am calm. I think my tendency is to be able to see several sides of a situation and be to accepting. I have a good sense of taking responsibility for myself and looking at my side of a situation and how I have contributed to the problem.
I have been processing the last week. I found myself having generalized anger and I have been throwing it out in different arenas. I am not sure how to describe it, but in what I might call social or public arenas.
One was with Aweber, my email service. There was a long-standing problem that cost me upwards of a thousand dollars. The other was with Comcast where my telephone, television and Internet performed poorly this week.
No need to go into the details, but I have been “running anger” in my body for a few days and it has been extremely uncomfortable. This is unusual for me. What I have been doing is noticing the anger in my body and feeling the sensations. It has been important for me to be loving and nurturing to myself because anger can create some major issues given I have adrenal fatigue. It can really wipe me out.
With anger, I need to assess the situation and either make a change or accept the situation. With Aweber, I have decided to change to a new email marketing program, even though I may lose many of my contacts. With Comcast, I decided I will call them and discuss the situation (again) and see about resolving the issues, even though it takes a lot of my time.
In the process of these few days of “angering” though, I realized that I have eaten more sugar than usual and have also enjoyed wine as a way of taking the edge off.
Neither of these is the best solution. Hindsight tells me to journal before I reach for another solution!
Anger is a secondary emotion. It covers up pain and fear. I also have had a sense of wanting to cry, but not being able to and not knowing why. More will come in another blog . . . or as my late, former husband Peter Campbell used to say . . . “More will be revealed.”
Posted: September 10, 2014
”Our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies.”
– Frank Gillette Burgess
I started the day today with working out at the gym with my trainer Luke Brady. It feels great to become stronger, but I have to be careful. As I wrote about in my book, when my energy was low, I worked out four or more days a week at Curves trying to increase my stamina and to become stronger. The problem was, my adrenals were shot! This plummeted me down into a health crisis and I could hardly do anything for about a year.
After my first full hour of training with Luke on Friday, later I realized I was wiped out. Today, although we had an hour scheduled, I knew it was too much. We both agreed that 30 minutes of weights and then some stretching worked better. Love the child’s pose!
Several years ago, after wiping out my adrenals with too much work and then too much working out, I was really afraid to exercise. That is when I gained all the weight and ultimately didn’t feel healthy. Now, as I work out at the gym, I feel like I am honoring my body by listening to it and knowing when it is too much. I want to push myself to become strong and build muscle, but when I feel light headed and dizzy and know it is too much. Today I can make up to my body by listening and honoring her!
Luke and I have both been on the same page as far as my workouts go and I feel really supported by him. It is really nice to have him to talk with and validate my experiences and give me the gems of knowledge he has as a professional athletic trainer. It’s all good!
Posted: August 16, 2014
“I can accept anything, except what seems to be the easiest for most people: the half-way, the almost, the just-about, the in-between.” ― Ayn Rand
Several years ago when I was struggling with adrenal fatigue my boyfriend and I were planning a trip to Italy. Venice was on my bucket list, but he insisted on Florence. Since he was flying us first class I was not going to argue.
Later we dreamed about our trip and shared with each other. He envisioned having a delicious cup of Italian coffee and breakfast on the veranda. At that time, one cup of coffee would have wiped out my adrenals for the day and I shared I would be having a cup of tea.
Well, he would have none of that! It was Italy! It had to be coffee, and the argument ensued!
Looking back, it seems silly that I would not have one cup of coffee, but the reality is, my body was in a crisis. A few months after that, I couldn’t function well at all. For almost a year, most days I only had the energy to see one client a day, could rarely walk my dog and learned to take baths because I couldn’t stand long enough to shower.
Well, the coffee disagreement was one of many times I couldn’t have an opinion in this relationship and soon it dissolved.
Now though, I see how easy it was for me to compromise my bucket list and how unwilling I was to compromise my health.
This is a good reminder today and everyday as I make choices around my health.
You can find more about how to move into health in my #1 Amazon best-selling book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.
Posted: August 9, 2014