Anger craves Sugar!

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

― Gloria Steinem

Most people who know me say that I am calm. I think my tendency is to be able to see several sides of a situation and be to accepting. I have a good sense of taking responsibility for myself and looking at my side of a situation and how I have contributed to the problem.

moodblog2

I have been processing the last week. I found myself having generalized anger and I have been throwing it out in different arenas. I am not sure how to describe it, but in what I might call social or public arenas.

One was with Aweber, my email service. There was a long-standing problem that cost me upwards of a thousand dollars. The other was with Comcast where my telephone, television and Internet performed poorly this week.

No need to go into the details, but I have been “running anger” in my body for a few days and it has been extremely uncomfortable. This is unusual for me. What I have been doing is noticing the anger in my body and feeling the sensations. It has been important for me to be loving and nurturing to myself because anger can create some major issues given I have adrenal fatigue. It can really wipe me out.

With anger, I need to assess the situation and either make a change or accept the situation. With Aweber, I have decided to change to a new email marketing program, even though I may lose many of my contacts. With Comcast, I decided I will call them and discuss the situation (again) and see about resolving the issues, even though it takes a lot of my time.

In the process of these few days of “angering” though, I realized that I have eaten more sugar than usual and have also enjoyed wine as a way of taking the edge off.

Neither of these is the best solution. Hindsight tells me to journal before I reach for another solution!

Anger is a secondary emotion. It covers up pain and fear. I also have had a sense of wanting to cry, but not being able to and not knowing why. More will come in another blog . . . or as my late, former husband Peter Campbell used to say . . . “More will be revealed.”

 CandessCampbell.com

iwannabeaskinnybitch.com


It’s what is underneath that counts. . .

If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.

Amit Ray, Om Chanting and Meditation

 

Into the third month of my health plan, I’m getting to a place of complacency. What is showing up is the problem underneath . . . which for me has been stress.

My stress as I have shared, comes from doing too much. I won’t go into all that I do. Many of us do too much!

IMG_1314What I will say though is I notice when I over-function, I experience stress. Because I love what I do, I often don’t take the necessary time to rest Stress is stress! Whether you are having fun or in chaos, it is still stress.

I am happy that I have lost some weight, feel better in my clothes, get compliments, but mostly, I am happy that I feel like I am in control of my life.

My focus for the next few days is to be conscious of what I am doing. Is it necessary? Fun? Relaxing?

This morning I awoke and lie in bed next to Domingo and read Scandalous Housewives: Mumbai on my Kindle. Now, that was relaxing. I enjoyed the comfort of my bed, seeing the tops of the trees and the sky out the window and having a fresh cup of coffee as I lost myself in the lives of these Indian women.

For me what has been under my weight gain has been stress.

Other reasons we may gain weight:

  1. Stuffing feelings

  2. Living in the past

  3. Lack of planning around food

  4. Underlying health issues

  5. Chronic anger

  6. Lack of education

 There are so many more.

Hope you are using your journal to connect more deeply with yourSelf in your own process toward better health.

 Some sentence stems to play with . . .

 If you have not used the Sentence Stems yet, you can find how to do this here!

  1. I become stressed when . . .

  2. I unwind best by . . .

  3. If I nurtured myself I would . . .

Iwannabeaskinnybitch!

CandessCampbell.com

 


Safe to Journal?

Your journal can become comforting, like a good friend.

Candess M. Campbell  –  12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine

Many of us love to journal. The notebook that keeps our sacred thoughts becomes an extension of us. It becomes full of memories similar to the photos that we have stored for years. 

Many of my clients had shared that they were resistant to journaling. Although I suspected it was because they were afraid of the inner journey, it was not that at all.  It was because in the past, someone had found and read the journal. 

Whether this betrayal was from a parent, sibling, friend or spouse, it was devastating. One client shared that her brother found her journal and read it and teased her. Another said that when she was a child her mom found her journal and was angry at what she had written. She then was punished for her writings.

Having journaled most of my life and having 30 years of my life chronicled in my journals, I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without that written inner journey. 

binder

What I suggest is to purchase a canvas 3 ring binder and use a small lock. You can then use a spiral notebook or 3 holed paper and store your writings in this locked binder. You can also buy a locked journal, but most often they are small and you don’t have the room to write messy and large which happens often in a journal process. 

Another option would be to buy a locked box. Either of these choices can be stored in a closet or under your bed when you are done.

sentrysafe

You can also journal on your computer and store your entries in an anonymous file or add a password to your file. I journal both ways and I find both to be profoundly helpful!

We are in the back-to-school season, so this is a great time to store up on journals, binders, and fast writing pens.

Yesterday I shared with you about Sentence Stems. Here are a few other ways you can begin to use your journal.

These are taken from 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine. 

  1. Dear God/Goddess letter – Write a letter to God or Goddess stating everything you need to say. Write as if you are having a private meeting with Him or Her—because you are!

  2. Gratitude list – This is one of my favorites. Write down ten things that fill you with gratitude, and eventually work up to a list of twenty. If I find myself in a grumpy mood, I do this daily. It’s difficult to be angry or negative after doing so, because this activity seems to lift the heart. Completing this exercise weekly is a great goal to improve your mood.

  3. Anger letter – In having journaled for over thirty years, I believe that venting can be quite helpful. When I started going through my journals to pull out the information I wanted to save, I definitely had to sort through the angry letters. Letting this energy go on a piece of paper is much better than turning it inward toward yourself and creating depression or pain—or turning it outward toward a loved one or innocent friend and creating trouble in your relationships. 

In future blogs I will share other ways to use your journal. Please feel free to share your own experiences and ideas!

 

Iwannabeaskinnybitch!


Steps to Resolving Conflict

“Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them.” Blanche
“Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive.” Kate” 

Neil SimonBrighton Beach Memoirs

Recently at Interplayers Theatre, I saw the play Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon. It was an incredible performance that exemplified the topic at hand – conflict.

The story is about Eugene, an adolescent, Jewish boy in 1937. He recalls his memories of living with his parents, aunt, two female cousins, and his brother at a time when he was going through puberty, sexual fantasy, poverty, and living in a crowed home. In this play, Eugene Jerome, played by Nich Witham, gave an over-exaggerated sense (in a fantastic performance) of not being heard and doing what he could to find his place and get his needs met in this family.

Brighton Beach Memoirs

This play was a great backdrop for me to expound on how to resolve conflict and the pitfalls of communication. Here are some helpful steps.

Clear with this person on an energetic level.

1. Ground your energy. Here is a video that will teach you to do this. http://bit.ly/wBHJbh

2. You have an aura around you which is part of your energetic self.  Imagine pulling your aura in around your body. Pull it in about 6 – 8 inches around you.

3. Focus in your heart and bring your attention out of the top of your head into the heavens.

4. Image the person there with you. At this level, send them love from your heart. You may also imagine sending them golden white Light from your heart.

5. If you can do this without anger or negative feelings, talk with them at this level

6. Come back down, image yourself filling up with golden white Light and release any leftover energy down your grounding cord.

Steps to resolve conflict in person.

1. Write out the situation in your journal and then re-read it the next day. Sometimes it helps to do this a few times, so that you can become clear on what happened and what you want to communicate.

2. Become aware of your own part of the situation, even if you perceive it to be minor in comparison to the other person.

3. If you are angry, look at where you may be feeling hurt or fearful. These emotions are often right under the surface of anger. Feel your feelings and let them go. Journal them over and over if need be.

4. Contact the person you are having conflict with and use clear, direct, honest communication. I suggest you meet in person (not via text or email) because this allows you not only to read the body language, but also to open your heart.

5. Give the other person the chance to communicate their side completely. It is helpful to use the words, “I heard you say,” and repeat back to them what you heard and let them clarify. This helps them to feel heard. You can hear what someone is saying without agreeing with them. It is important that you hear.

6. Once the other person feels heard, share your side. They may not listen well and you may not feel heard. If that is the case use the broken record method. Continue to say the core message again and again, “I hear what you say, and ______.” Yes, that is true, and _______.” Do this until they are able to understand they are not hearing you.

7. Make a request of the person such as “My request is we put this behind us and go on from here,” or “My request is that we continue to meet and talk weekly until we can resolve this.” You can use whatever it is that you desire.

8. Trust your intuition, and use as many of these steps as you would like. If the person is not willing to meet with you or clear the situation with you, then move on and let it go. No longer allow them into your energy field and set healthy boundaries.  (I will share more about this in a future video and blog.)

Sometimes people have a hard time clearing conflict because of negative communication patterns.  Often these reactions were learned in early childhood as a survival response to a dysfunctional family. In this case they may triangle in other people to take sides, or become passive aggressive and rather than talking with you directly, they will be passive in their aggression in a subversive manner.

One of the books I recommend for healthy communication is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg

You can find other valuable information at http://candesscampbell.com/books/self-help-toolbox