Okay, I was back to the gym and Luke, my trainer changed up my routine. In the racquetball court he set up a ladder. Okay, I was ready to do penance since I exercised less that I would have liked when he was on vacation. I felt like an athlete running through these ropes.
Luke asked me if I was okay with myself or upset with myself since I didn’t follow through with the program he set up for me to do when he was gone. That was a good question. The truth is, I have been loving and compassionate with myself in this process of losing weight and increasing my health.
At this point, I need to eat less to continue losing weight and I need to increase my cardio. What I noticed is that on the days I went to the gym I walked Domingo longer and more often. I was more active all day long. On the days I didn’t go to the gym, I was less active.
Today, I’m not ready to make a specific commitment toward increasing cardio on a regular basis, but in the twilight state tonight, right before I fall asleep, I will prime my subconscious by seeing myself doing several activities to raise my heart rate such as riding my bike, walking faster or running, and my favorite – dancing!
I believe in being gentle with myself. Having adrenal fatigue has taught me that pushing myself just pushes me down, and encouraging, loving, and rewarding myself allows me to be positive and honest with myself.
Catawampus arose in the United States around 1840, during a particular vogue in elaborate coinages. Cata- stems from cater-, a now-archaic root meaning “diagonal,” while the source of -wampus is subject to debate. – dictionary.reference.com
When I awoke this morning I had a headache, pressure in the back of my neck and I couldn’t think. I knew my back was out which affected my neck. I rolled out of bed and headed directly to my inversion board hoping that hanging would help. Nope. I waddled downstairs and hung off the seat of my barcalounger, which always works, but nope. I was determined to go to the gym anyway because today was training day. First though, I made an appointment with my chiropractor for later.
Inversion Table
Luke Brady
Luke Brady, my athletic trainer said we would start today with leg presses and he showed me what to do. I let him know I was catawampus, but was happy to be there. The first set (even without the weights) and my back popped in! Yippee! I shared with him and we were both happy that the results of weight training were showing up in many ways.
Having already made the appointment with Dr. Patrick Dougherty (chiropractor and friend,) I took off to share the great news with him. By the time I got to his office, I felt so much better. Dr. Pat and I have taught some Kinesiology classes together and I love his incredible skill level. (Everyone loves Dr. Pat!)
He put me on the table, did some testing and he gently shared, “I need to put your head on straight.” Any other man!!! I was so grateful.
Dr. Pat
He did an adjustment and my body said yes!
I also had him test me for whether or not grains supported my body. In an earlier blog, I said I went off grains, but after a week, I didn’t feel any different, digestion was the same, there was not a difference in weight even though I replaced grains with vegetables and it just didn’t make sense for me to continue to stop.
He tested and said that my body did not test positive for grains, but that it was not a strong no, (my paraphrasing) and that if I did eat grains it could cause some inflammation and may make it harder to lose weight.
No longer feeling catawampus, I am just so grateful to have the support I have on my journey!
“Continuous improvement is not a one-off project or ‘flavor of the month’ . . . it is a constant and never-ending commitment backed up by action. ” – Author Unknown
Wherever you are on your path, what is important is that you are going in the direction you want to be going.
I realized this in the journal class I taught this week. I found myself writing that I am happy, happy, happy and it is because I am on “my path.” What I meant by this is that I have in place what I need to continue in the right direction. In this case, a commitment to working with an athletic trainer and a commitment to this blog. Everything else will fall into place.
Whenever you are working on health and fitness, be it weight loss, weight gain or building strength, you have to start where you are and move into your next step!
Often I see people who are promoting diets, exercise, and health plans that are so far ahead of where the consumer is, there is no way they can envision themselves being successful. Therefore they spend a lot of money and fail. When you find your mentor or your muse, even if they may be far from where you are, also find others who are only a few steps ahead.
People are more successful when they find support from people who start with them right where they are, and build to the next step.
Health and fitness become your lifestyle, one step at a time. Find the support you deserve.
Okay, I confess. When my bookkeeper comes on Friday morning, the day I don’t see clients, while having my morning coffee I like to catch up on recorded TV shows. This morning before going to work out with my trainer Luke, I caught up on Million Dollar Listing: Miami. When I was watching Chris Leavitt’s open house I got an idea. The wife of the owner of the building was a nutritionist so he served the best juice he could find instead of the usual cocktails. He had yoga instructors teaching and demonstrating yoga on the terrace. The focus was on how to relax when you are stressed. He even had a woman who calculated the antioxidants in their systems.
Well Chris is the quintessential health nut. He spends a lot of time and money to take care of himself from what he eats to what he wears. He has luxurious spa days and . . .
What I realized is I would be a lot more careful about what I put in my body and have a much better attitude about my body if I spent less time in my head and working and thinking and more time having spa days. I can see it now. I have just had a massage and I am laying in a warm towel with a good book and the attendant brings me a pure, fresh water with lemon. I could get used to this.
Okay, but now I am off to the gym. Hope there are not planks today, but if there are, I am closing my eyes and going to the spa!
Friday Afternoon
Second day of training proves to be great! I am learning so much. Not only am I becoming aware of my body, but also how it is I don’t support my health. For those who already know me, I am a compulsive creative! I spend too much time in my head!
Luke, bless his heart adjusted the incline of the bench when I did my weights this time. It made it easier for me to sit straight up after my set. This is until I build up my back strength. But while lifting the weights, rather than focusing on my chest, I am creating a workshop in my head for my Meetup.com group, Spirituality & Self-Healing. This is where Luke would demonstrate some weight training exercises and offer a package deal where he will go to the home of his customer and train them! I caught myself and was able to get back into directing my mind to muscle.
Now for the plank! Even though he also adjusted this exercise for me and I was able to be on my knees, I still closed my eyes and went into a day spa in my mind. This was a great workout. My body continues to feel stronger and he does not push me. He is communicative and responsive which is great. On my own, I would push myself, get exhausted, discouraged and quit. It feels good to be present to my body.
Today was the first day of training! Domingo walked me first thing this morning!
The Club has a lot of stairs up to the gym and I was surprised I had to stop half way up and take a breath. After putting my items in my day locker I was ready to venture up another set of steps to meet Luke. Surprisingly I ran these stairs without effort. What is that about? Met with Luke at the gym. He started me on the weight bench face up with hand weights. Soon I realized that even sitting up from a laying position was more than my back to do and so we agreed he would take the weights and I could turn on my side to get up. Ugh!
My intention is to be gentle with myself and just witness and I have done well so far. My mind did wander back though to when I considered myself macho and had definition in my shoulder muscles. Oh, mid 1990s. That was 20 years ago. Watching my slow unsteady movement with the free weights was a real wake up call to how truly out of shape I am!
Next was the Nautilus for my back, where I learned to squeeze as he pressed the middle of my back. Was I ever mistaken! I really thought I knew what I needed and could do it on my own. His training is so attentive and so different than what I expected. I see this could change my life!
Wow! My eyes lit up when we went to the racquetball court for lunges. Have to digress here. When I used to work at a Federal Prison camp (as a counselor,) I worked out regularly with my dear friend and coworker Herm. We had a great time spotting each other and we both got a great workout; thus the definition in my shoulders. Well, one day we invited another coworker; I’ll call Carlos to play racquetball. Mind you, I am not a good racquetball player, but it was fun and a lot of exercise. Well, Carlos could not just have fun. First he tried to teach me. I didn’t want to be taught, I wanted to play for fun. Next, he came onto me sexually. Yuk! We were there to play racquetball. Next, he started putting me down. Really? I quickly realized that the three ways he knew how to be with women were to 1 – tell them what to do or how to do it 2 – treat them as sexual objects or 3 – be verbally abusive. Well, that was the last time he was invited to play.
Nevertheless, my eyes did light up at the Club because I loved racquetball. Loved the fun I had with my friend and also the high that comes from fun exercise and belly laughs!
Back to lunges. It was interesting how I realized how poor my balance was. I moved to the side of the wall in case I needed to touch it for support. My lunges seemed to be fairly good for the first time and I enjoyed it. Next planks.
Laying on the mat I did my first plank. The tension in my lower back was of concern, but my shoulders did well. Luke was a gentleman and although I only made 10 seconds at a time, he was kind. The second set was a killer. My mantra was “torture.” The third set surprisingly was much easier and I sat back in the child’s pose and thanked my body for all she did today!
Met with Luke, my athletic trainer today to set up weight training. I really like him. He was relaxed and personable and not intimidating at all. He had a gentle manner and I felt comfortable. When I was younger I had a woman trainer that was tough, tough, tough! These days I am hard enough on myself. I need to desire training, not have it forced on me. Luke and I had similar beliefs about healthy food and he understood my fear about pushing myself too hard after having adrenal fatigue.
Haven’t shared my story? Well it is in my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine. Here is the gist. In the late 2000s I became really ill with adrenal fatigue. I was working non-stop on my doctorate and running a full time private counseling practice, while doing other spiritual teaching projects. My energy started to plummet and I was gaining weight. I joined Curves and increased my workouts to four or more days a week. The more I exercised, I understood later, the more I wiped out my adrenals and my health took a dive. It took me about a year to get myself back to functioning, but barely. The best treatments for illnesses are outlined in my book. For adrenal fatigue, rest is the best!
So, returning back to exercise has been scary for me. Now, back to Luke. We scheduled the first session for an hour and then 30-minute sessions after that. He set up for me to see him twice a week and three or more days a week I’ll do cardio of my choice. He even said I don’t have to go the gym. I love being home and I have a nice bike, a recumbent bike, and weights. I also walk along the river all the time. This is great!
Decided to go grain free rather than gluten free to see how my body responds.
Wouldn’t you know! It was when I was facilitating a journal class on the fifth chakra (throat – communication) that it all came to me. In one of the writing exercises I realized how great it was to have the support I am receiving in my business. I have a Mahfuzul who does my websites, Filip who edits the sound on my mp4s, Robert who fixed my Outlook issues, and Julie who is absolutely the best bookkeeper ever! Great awareness.
The next sentence stem was picked by one of the students. We wrote “What I need to change is. . .” Well, was I ever surprised!
My writing went like this. What I need to change is what I need to change. What the __ does that mean? A little anger here. Some pain is coming up. My face – there is pressure near my eyes and cheeks. I am feeling defensive and protective of myself. This really hit a nerve. What? I am breathing deeply. My solar plexus is tight. My throat is closing up. Okay this is the 5th chakra so let’s talk about my thyroid. I have a lump on my thyroid the size of a plum. Okay. I am getting clearer. I feel like crying. I feel hopeless around my weight . . .
Private journaling information –
. . . I have been talking today about how good it feels to have help, support, work as a team. I am sad about (relationship ending – touch, oxytocin, etc.) My dad and I cuddled and I gained weight because he and I ate all the sugary foods. I do want to create a relationship where I can be supported by someone when I work out and get healthier. I don’t want to wait for a relationship. For this part I will get a trainer. Oh, that feels better. Whew! Again, I don’t have to do it alone!
What I realized is that even though I am very self-motivated, in this area of my life, I am NOT! I do need help.
When it was my turn, I shared my writing and my “ah-ha” with the group. One of the women shared that she meets with her trainer 5 x a week. She said she lost weight but needed to build muscle and it was doctor recommended!
So I am making an appointment with an athletic trainer!