5 Love Languages to Better Communication

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.” 
― Gary ChapmanThe Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages teaches us to understand what makes us feel loved and what makes our loved ones feel loved. The five languages are 1) Words of Affirmation 2) Quality Time 3) Gifts 4) Acts of Service and 5) Physical Touch.

Have you ever had a friend who continually is asking for validation? A current or past love who is always touching you as you walk by, rubbing your shoulders, cuddling when you watch a movie? Someone who shops and is buying themselves gifts all the time? These may be clues to their love language.

If your mother’s love language is quality time, getting her a gift certificate for massage would not excite her the way taking her to an off-Broadway play would.

If you have a friend whose love language is Acts of Service, making her a book of coupons for services such as babysitting or yard work may be more important to her than getting her a new scarf.

If your loved one’s first love language is physical touch, you may want to plan a quiet evening alone and give each other foot rubs with a sensual essential oil.

You can take an online test at http://fivelovelanguages.com/ to find out your own love language. Let your family and friends know what your love language is and in doing this you may be able to explore theirs as well. You may find you score high on a few love languages. Let your loved ones know this and how they would express this to you.

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My highest score is Acts of Service, although Quality Time and Physical Touch are close behind.  When I think of this I remember a boyfriend who built a fence around my yard and how loved I felt. More recently friends wrote reviews for my book and it was the greatest expression of love they could have given me. I especially appreciate my friend David Sandoval, MD, an immunologist who wrote the review on the back of my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.


The Five Love Languages

With Valentine’s Day ahead there is a lot of energy around passion, love, hearts and connection. This is a great day to honor the ones we love with a giftand you may honor yourself with a gift as well!

This is also a great time to make a deeper connection with those we love by understanding how to “be” with our loved ones, on this special day and everyday!

Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages teaches us to understand what makes us feel loved and what makes our loved ones feel loved. The five languages are 1) Words of Affirmation 2) Quality Time 3) Gifts 4) Acts of Service and 5) Physical Touch.

Have you ever had a friend who continually is asking for validation? A current or past love who is always touching you as you walk by, rubbing your shoulders, cuddling when you watch a movie? Someone who shops and is buying themselves gifts all the time? These may be clues to their love language

If your mother’s love language is Quality Time, getting her a gift certificate for massage would not excite her the way taking her to an off-Broadway play would.

If you have a friend whose love language is Acts of Service, making her a book of coupons for services such as babysitting or yard work may be more important to her than getting her a new scarf.

If your loved one’s first love language is Physical Touch, you may want to plan a quiet evening alone and give each other foot rubs with a sensual essential oil.

You can take an online test at http://fivelovelanguages.com/ to find out your own love language. Let your family and friends know what your love language is and in doing this you may be able to explore theirs as well.

You may find you score high on a few love languages. Let your loved ones know your language and what it would look like for them to behave in this love language.  My highest score is Acts of Service, although Quality Time and Physical Touch are close behind.  When I think of this I remember a past boyfriend who built a fence around my yard and how loved I felt.

More recently, friends wrote reviews for my upcoming book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine and it was the greatest expression of love they could have given me.

Enjoy exploring your Love Language with a friend this month of February!


Breast Cancer Prevention

Whether it be mammography or thermography (or both), these tests are easy to get and provide a great preventive measure for women.

October being Breast Cancer Awareness month, I have been thinking about the prevention of breast cancer.  The focus of most of my work and my upcoming book is about self-healing.  Self-testing and being preventative certainly fits in here. We are taught to do monthly breast exams as well as have mammograms yearly. What I have always thought is, it would be wonderful for women to communicate with their husbands, boyfriends, lovers, to be involved in this process as well. I figure since men like to play in this area, why not be more proactive in helping their women stay healthy. It would be an incredible experience for couples to bring checking for lumps into the privacy of their loving relationship.

I remember mentioning this to the nurse a couple years ago when getting a mammogram. She said that it is often the men who notice a lump in the woman’s breast. Often by the time they do though, the lump is fairly large, so consciously examining for lumps more often would help.

The nurse said it is also good for men to have breast exams. We don’t think about this as much, but she said they see men in their office for mammograms about once or twice a month.

I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but instead inspires you to be an advocate for health with yourself and your loving partner.