“The idea in our culture of body solely as sculpture is Wrong. Body is not marble. That is not its purpose. It’s purpose is to protect, contain, support, and fire the spirit and soul within it, to be a repository for memory, to fill us with feeling – that is the supreme psychic nourishment. It is to lift us and propel us, to fill us with the feeling to prove that we exist, that we are here, to give us grounding, heft, weight. It is wrong to think of it as a place we leave in order to soar to the spirit. The body is the launcher of those experiences. Without body there would be no sensations of crossing thresholds, there would be no sense of lifting, no sense of height, weightlessness. All that comes from the body. The body is the rocket launcher. In its nose capsule, the soul looks out the window into the mysterious starry night and is dazzled.”
– Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes Women Who Run with the Wolves
“What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.”
It was an easy seven hour drive to Sisters, Oregon and when I arrived, I was so happy to spend time with my dear friends Doug and Katie Cavanaugh. Matthew Kocel, one of the speakers at The Healer’s Gathering was there too and I was able to listen to them jam! Dancing was fun too!
Where I really messed up on the drive though, was getting my second sugar-free soy latte on the road. Somehow my wisdom went out the door and almost half of my food intake was from lattes. Feel free to share why soy, coffee, and sugar free products are not healthy. I get it!
Rather than beating myself up though, I am going to journal and explore the Saboteur within. This clearly was a self-sabotaging behavior. According to the teachings of Caroline Myss there are 4 main archetypes we all share. They are the Child, Victim, Saboteur and Prostitute.
From Caroline’s Sacred Contracts class, her book and my own experiences, I have created a list of characteristics of the Saboteur archetype. The Saboteur Archetype is the Guardian of Choice.
The core issue of the Saboteur is fear of inviting changes into your life; changes that shape and deepen your spirit.
The other side of destruction is rebuilding and rebirth.
Use the saboteur to consciously dismantle areas of your life you need to fix or heal.
Makes itself known through disruption and resistance.
You can silence the saboteur with acts of courage and following your intuition. Listen to the small voice and make choices – small ones to begin with.
The shadow saboteur will play on your fears that you are not good enough to accomplish anything on your own.
We are afraid that if we are enlightened we will be alone, wont’ be vulnerable, capable of sensual love, so we feed the shadow saboteur, the part of use that is fragmented.
We fear empowerment because we think it will remove us from the warmth and comfort of loved ones.
We fear empowerment because we don’t want to be responsible for our actions and therefore consciously or unconsciously encourage our weakness and hold onto our fears; we do want to be around others that are empowered or enlightened though.
Work with your saboteur to see where you may be doing yourself in (what are you doing you know you should not be doing and what you are not doing that you know you should be doing?
When you make the saboteur your ally it can call your attention to ways you might be sabotaged or sabotage yourself and then you can make other choices The intellect of the scarecrow can work with your saboteur to alert you to when you are doing yourself in.
Join with me and delve into your own Saboteur and become clearer on your own Choices!
”Our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies.”
– Frank Gillette Burgess
I started the day today with working out at the gym with my trainer Luke Brady. It feels great to become stronger, but I have to be careful. As I wrote about in my book, when my energy was low, I worked out four or more days a week at Curves trying to increase my stamina and to become stronger. The problem was, my adrenals were shot! This plummeted me down into a health crisis and I could hardly do anything for about a year.
After my first full hour of training with Luke on Friday, later I realized I was wiped out. Today, although we had an hour scheduled, I knew it was too much. We both agreed that 30 minutes of weights and then some stretching worked better. Love the child’s pose!
Several years ago, after wiping out my adrenals with too much work and then too much working out, I was really afraid to exercise. That is when I gained all the weight and ultimately didn’t feel healthy. Now, as I work out at the gym, I feel like I am honoring my body by listening to it and knowing when it is too much. I want to push myself to become strong and build muscle, but when I feel light headed and dizzy and know it is too much. Today I can make up to my body by listening and honoring her!
Luke and I have both been on the same page as far as my workouts go and I feel really supported by him. It is really nice to have him to talk with and validate my experiences and give me the gems of knowledge he has as a professional athletic trainer. It’s all good!
“It’s probably my job to tell you life isn’t fair, but I figure you already know that. So instead, I’ll tell you that hope is precious, and you’re right not to give up.” ― C.J. Redwine, Defiance
This series of blogs called iwannabeaskinnybitch.com began July 30, 2014. This has been my journey into health, exercise and weight loss after having a breakthrough in the journal class I was facilitating on the Fifth Chakra – The Power of Communication. You can read the whole story in this blog, but it ended with clear communication with mySelf and getting a personal trainer for exercise.
Well, I just about lost it! I was on a great path, being motivated and eating well and losing weight. Then I had some oral surgery which involved Hydrocodone, the withdrawal from Hydrocodone. Ugh!
Even though, Domingo walked me daily and we took some incredibly beautiful long walks. The day I was scheduled to go back to the gym, it was a rainy day. After a series of really hot days, I really wanted to just curl up and read.
I could see how I would have found all kinds of excuses not to go to the gym. Then I would be upset with myself and possibly give up on the process all together.
My scheduled appointment with Luke Brady was a godsend! I looked forward to his reminder text and showed up wimpy and disheveled. I just about lost it – I almost gave up. Instead – I left the gym energized, feeling hot, happy, motivated and back on track.
Whatever your struggle to get healthy, whether it be changes in diet, increasing your movement or educating yourself about your body, mind, Spirit connections – invest in yourSelf! Don’t give up!
In order to play jazz, you have to be able to play the blues. Robert Cray
There has been so much change recently!
Change usually happens in several areas of your life at once!
In addition to going to see my trainer Luke and feeling my body change, I have been getting acupuncture and am on a Chinese Herb cleanse. Now, it would be much better to shift my whole diet during this cleanse which is about six weeks, but not for me. I am enjoying my morning coffee and did have a drink when I went to see Robert Cray on Monday.
Monday night I planned to eat at PF Changs and then go to the Bing Crosby Theatre to see Robert Cray. Instead intuitively I was directed to eat closer to the theatre. I decided upon the Peacock room at Davenport Hotel. I ordered a Cesar Salad and a glass of scotch with a twist of lemon. I asked the bartender to give me my check because there was a concert and I wanted to see if I could buy a ticket from someone who had an extra. The man sitting next to me at the bar said there were still tickets left.
I asked if he were going to the show and he said, “I’m Robert Cray’s manager.” It pays to listen to your intuition. We chatted and had a great time. Didn’t have to worry about a ticket after all.
The Super moon seems to have had an affect on me. I have been aware at night of the energy of the moon and I felt the sensations. I slept less and of course got more done.
With all the changes it feels like I am being activated into a higher vibration. Decisions I have been pondering are becoming clearer, I am attracting collaborative people into my life for business opportunities and I am happy, happy, happy.
By the way, I am giving myself the day off of exercise today. A much needed time of rest.
So it has taken me almost two weeks of blogging in a word document to bring myself to do this, but I am ready to take my journey online! Several months ago I was sitting with one of my clients that I coached and I noticed that week by week she was losing weight and starting to glow. As she left my office I said to her that she was looking great and “I Wanna be a Skinny Bitch!”
And it all began! Over the months my ideas were brewing and of course there is so much more than losing weight. Weight has been an issue for me for most of my life and now I realize age is compounding the issue. I invite you to join me in this process of losing weight, getting healthy, loving the body you have, being a temple, and all that jazz. I will share my thoughts, struggles, successes and a lot of humor along the way.
Take this journey with me and share your own struggles and successes. I will be adding tools, ideas, valuable gifts and much more.
Next I’ll share how I was motivated to get an athletic trainer. I have 10 days of blogs to post here, so be sure to sign up to receive an email whenever I post. Let’s do this together!
“Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them.” Blanche
“Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive.” Kate”
Recently at Interplayers Theatre, I saw the play Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon. It was an incredible performance that exemplified the topic at hand – conflict.
The story is about Eugene, an adolescent, Jewish boy in 1937. He recalls his memories of living with his parents, aunt, two female cousins, and his brother at a time when he was going through puberty, sexual fantasy, poverty, and living in a crowed home. In this play, Eugene Jerome, played by Nich Witham, gave an over-exaggerated sense (in a fantastic performance) of not being heard and doing what he could to find his place and get his needs met in this family.
This play was a great backdrop for me to expound on how to resolve conflict and the pitfalls of communication. Here are some helpful steps.
Clear with this person on an energetic level.
1. Ground your energy. Here is a video that will teach you to do this. http://bit.ly/wBHJbh
2. You have an aura around you which is part of your energetic self. Imagine pulling your aura in around your body. Pull it in about 6 – 8 inches around you.
3. Focus in your heart and bring your attention out of the top of your head into the heavens.
4. Image the person there with you. At this level, send them love from your heart. You may also imagine sending them golden white Light from your heart.
5. If you can do this without anger or negative feelings, talk with them at this level
6. Come back down, image yourself filling up with golden white Light and release any leftover energy down your grounding cord.
Steps to resolve conflict in person.
1. Write out the situation in your journal and then re-read it the next day. Sometimes it helps to do this a few times, so that you can become clear on what happened and what you want to communicate.
2. Become aware of your own part of the situation, even if you perceive it to be minor in comparison to the other person.
3. If you are angry, look at where you may be feeling hurt or fearful. These emotions are often right under the surface of anger. Feel your feelings and let them go. Journal them over and over if need be.
4. Contact the person you are having conflict with and use clear, direct, honest communication. I suggest you meet in person (not via text or email) because this allows you not only to read the body language, but also to open your heart.
5. Give the other person the chance to communicate their side completely. It is helpful to use the words, “I heard you say,” and repeat back to them what you heard and let them clarify. This helps them to feel heard. You can hear what someone is saying without agreeing with them. It is important that you hear.
6. Once the other person feels heard, share your side. They may not listen well and you may not feel heard. If that is the case use the broken record method. Continue to say the core message again and again, “I hear what you say, and ______.” Yes, that is true, and _______.” Do this until they are able to understand they are not hearing you.
7. Make a request of the person such as “My request is we put this behind us and go on from here,” or “My request is that we continue to meet and talk weekly until we can resolve this.” You can use whatever it is that you desire.
8. Trust your intuition, and use as many of these steps as you would like. If the person is not willing to meet with you or clear the situation with you, then move on and let it go. No longer allow them into your energy field and set healthy boundaries. (I will share more about this in a future video and blog.)
Sometimes people have a hard time clearing conflict because of negative communication patterns. Often these reactions were learned in early childhood as a survival response to a dysfunctional family. In this case they may triangle in other people to take sides, or become passive aggressive and rather than talking with you directly, they will be passive in their aggression in a subversive manner.
One of the books I recommend for healthy communication is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
You can find other valuable information at http://candesscampbell.com/books/self-help-toolbox
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
Relationships are fluid and changing all the time. Communication is often a challenge and keeping up with the shifting can be disconcerting. In this video I teach you to “Be the Pole.” It is a great way to stay stable when you have a partner that is either reactive or changing their minds continually. Enjoy!
An Interview with Patrick C. Dougherty, D.C.
Recently I had some blood work done and found I was low in Vitamin D. I remembered several friends and clients had the same problem and so I contacted Dr. Pat to find out more.
Dr. Pat, I understand you are a Chiropractor here in Spokane. How long have you been practicing?
I have practiced chiropractic since March of 1994, first in Denver CO, and since November of 2004 in Spokane WA.
What else do you do in your practice?
Chiropractic College did not prepare me to pursue creative solutions to people’s health challenges. As a chiropractor I am required to take continuing education credits each year. It is these classes that have shaped how I work today. Rather than look at a person as merely muscles and bones, I initially evaluate them in a total of six areas: Musculaoskeletal, electromagnetics, nutrition excess and deficiency, toxicity, buried emotional stress, and allergy and sensitivity. I do this with a combination of muscle testing, questionnaires, and intuition.
After the evaluation I present the person with a list of the health challenges I observed, they choose what they are willing to work on, and I help them overcome their challenges through chiropractic adjustments to optimize the nervous system, nutritional supplementation, diet counseling, exercise and posture counseling, soft tissue release techniques, and other energy techniques.
I accomplish this by using my hands, mechanical adjusting instruments, cold laser therapy, and supplements.
Is it true that Vitamin D is a hormone?
Vitamin D is a steroid hormone. Hormones are chemical messengers. They have a shape that allows them to fit into the receptors of cells. This is much like a jigsaw puzzle. If the cell and the hormone fit together then the hormone can pass along its encoded message to the cell.
I understand you know a lot about Vitamin D. What is so important about Vitamin D?
A tremendous number of cells in the body have Vitamin D receptors. For this reason, researchers have found that Vitamin D has the ability to optimize function in 2000-3000 genes in the human body. That is 10% of all the genes in the body! The better you genes and cells work, the better you will function.
The vast majority of everything we know about Vitamin D has been uncovered in this century. Researchers have found Vitamin D deficiency in astounding numbers of named diseases and conditions. While this does not mean that Vitamin D is the sole cause of any of these conditions, it does indicate that unhealthy people almost always have low Vitamin D levels.
The bottom line is that your genes are the blueprint for your body. Vitamin D activates many of the “healthy” genes in the body. Ask yourself, “do I want to build my body and my health with the best blueprint available to me, or will I settle for a blueprint from a first grade architecture class?” If you want the best, then you will take Vitamin D.
How much Vitamin D should we take?
This is controversial subject. The main reason it is controversial is that the FDA appears to be impervious to science. It is only recently that the FDA raised the suggestion daily dose of Vitamin D from 400 IU/day. Scientists have known for years that this is a fairly meaningless dosage. Every year researchers at some of the best medical schools in the world are suggesting higher daily dosages of Vitamin D than ever before. I have seen 10, 000 IU/day recommended in several papers in the past year.
Personally I am wary of such a high dose, but only because I have not seen enough evidence. I have taken 3000- 5000 IU/day for the past 3 years. When I have my Vitamin D blood level tested I have never come close to peaking at a dangerous level.
I recommend anywhere from 1000-5000 IU/day dependent on the personal factors involved. I also recommend that people taking dose of 5000 IU/day and up get their blood level tested to insure they do not overdose on Vitamin D.
Can we just take the Vitamin D from the grocery store?
I recommend people get their supplements from a source they can trust to weed through all of the poorly made supplements and only provide the highest quality supplements. I have yet to see a grocery store that meets this criteria. Surveys have shown that a huge number of supplements are not well made, and at times they even have enough impurities to be harmful to a person.
Also, because Vitamin D is a steroid hormone it is fat soluble. Many people have difficulties with fat digestion. For this reason I use a liquid vitamin D in my office. I believe the liquid form is more readily absorbed by more people than Vitamin D in the pill form.
My work is about self-healing. In what way would taking Vitamin D help in self-healing?
Vitamin D, in my mind, is the king of the self-healing supplements. I firmly believe in the chiropractic principle that the power that made the body can heal the body. In other words we are meant to be healthy – until our pathologically stressful lifestyle interferes to a degree that the self-healing capacity of the nervous system to comprehend our stresses and adapt to them is overwhelmed.
Vitamin D, because it asserts a positive influence on so many genes in the body, and so many of our cells; increases the capacity of our body to resonate at a higher level. When our vibratory frequency is peaking, so is the ability of the nervous system to comprehend and adapt to stress. That adaptation is the key to expressing our innate healing ability.
What would you say are the top 3 other ways we can take good care of our health?
The key to good health is the ability of the nervous system to comprehend and adapt. Receptors on the spine are the conductors for that communication. For that reason, I recommend everyone get chiropractic adjustments. Adjustments facilitate vibratory frequency in the spine, which encourages nervous system communication. That communication is what allows a body to make good use of the three factors that follow.
1. It would be easy to say Food, Food, Food here. But I will give you 2 other ways, also. Food is the fuel for our body. It is proper to draw an analogy to a car. If the proper fuel is put in a new car it runs beautifully. When you put a lesser grade of fuel in the car it runs more poorly. Put diesel in a gasoline engine (or vice versa) and you have got big problems. Put kerosene in your car and I shudder to think what would happen.
Our bodies are no different. There is good fuel and bad fuel. A good rule of thumb is that if you have to read a label, then the food is probably not great fuel. Whole fresh foods, preferably organic and not shipped a great distance are going to supply your body more good fuel than processed foods. People who ignore this principle are robbing their energetic essence.
2. Exercise is so important. Many people think that because they are active during the day they do not need to have a regular exercise program. The focused intensity of an exercise program is much more valuable to must of us than a busy day. Exercise programs need to be tailored to the individual.
3. For number three I am going to cheat and say people need to honor the importance of positive self talk, good posture, a daily source of mind quieting activity, a daily dose of learning, daily expressions of gratitude, and finally having a clear and active purpose in life.
This has been really informative. Thank you so much!
Patrick C. Dougherty, D.C. received a Bachelor of Science degree in May of 1992 and a Doctor of Chiropractic in December of 1993 from Western States Chiropractic College in Portland, OR; Certification in the Educational Program for Musculoskeletal Evaluation and Rehabilitation from the Department of Human Performance and Wellness of Mesa State College in Colorado in 1999; and certification in Surface Electromyography (Semg) from Turning Point Logistics Systems, Inc. He has practiced chiropractic since March of 1994, first in Denver CO, and since November of 2004 in Spokane WA.
In the last blog I gave you some information about the Saboteur Archetype and encouraged you to use the information to explore within yourself in the privacy of your journal. Today, I am focusing on the Victim Archetype. This information comes from information from Caroline Myss’ work in her Sacred Contracts book and the classes I took from her on Medical Intuition and Sacred Contracts. I have also added information that I have gained from working as a mental health counselor and chemical dependency professional for over 20 years.
Remember that we all have 4 archetypes that we share. These are the Child, Victim, Saboteur and Prostitute. Each of these archetypes have a positive side to them and with the Victim it is Self-Esteem. This would be the other side of the victim. The focus of my newsletter is All Healing is Self-Healing. This is also the focus of my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Evolving Through Chronic Pain.
In the process of self-healing, you have to come to terms with your victim self and move beyond this state of being. You can identify your victim, confront the behavior, love and forgive yourself and bring your energy into present time. In fact, unless you can bring at least 80% of your energy into present time, you will not have the power to self-heal. What do I mean by bringing yourself into present time? Watch your thoughts. Do you go off to the future (which can create anxiety) or drift off to the past (which can cause depression) or are you able to be present in the moment?
I will write more about present time, but for now, enjoy exploring this archetype that can bring you high self-esteem once you embrace this part of yourself and move on!
Guardian of Self Esteem
Core issue is whether it is worth giving up your own sense of empowerment to avoid taking responsibility for your independence.
- When you don’t stand up for yourself after awhile you no longer can tell the difference whether you are being victimized or not; so either you are being victimized and don’t know it or you are not being victimized, but act as if you are.
- The victim archetype helps you decide what you will or will not do; a guardian of personal boundaries.
- Lessons associated with the victim archetype demand that you evaluate your relationship to power, especially with people with whom you have control issues and have to set boundaries.
- Primary objective is to develop self-esteem and personal power.
- You have contracts with people whose primary purpose is to help you develop yourself-esteem through acts of honesty, integrity, courage, endurance and self-respect.
- The victim will entice you to feel sorry for yourself.
- You can act like a victim and give in or call upon your companions and guides for help.
- Like the lion in the Wizard of Oz, you need to have the courage to look at your victim and make it your ally.
- Do you victimize yourself in the way you interpret conversations with other people?
- Does your victim alert you to protect yourself rather than letting people take advantage of you?
- Does your victim motivate you to be shrewd in the dealings of whatever house it is in?
- Does your empowered victim allow you to take risks in your life?
- The victim urges us to act appropriately when we are in danger of being victimized.
- The victim can alert us to being victimized through passivity and rash or inappropriate actions.
- It can also alert us to how we victimize others for personal gain.
- In shadow it may show how we play victim for sympathy or pity.
Bless your heart,