Wouldn’t you know! It was when I was facilitating a journal class on the fifth chakra (throat – communication) that it all came to me. In one of the writing exercises I realized how great it was to have the support I am receiving in my business. I have a Mahfuzul who does my websites, Filip who edits the sound on my mp4s, Robert who fixed my Outlook issues, and Julie who is absolutely the best bookkeeper ever! Great awareness.
The next sentence stem was picked by one of the students. We wrote “What I need to change is. . .” Well, was I ever surprised!
My writing went like this. What I need to change is what I need to change. What the __ does that mean? A little anger here. Some pain is coming up. My face – there is pressure near my eyes and cheeks. I am feeling defensive and protective of myself. This really hit a nerve. What? I am breathing deeply. My solar plexus is tight. My throat is closing up. Okay this is the 5th chakra so let’s talk about my thyroid. I have a lump on my thyroid the size of a plum. Okay. I am getting clearer. I feel like crying. I feel hopeless around my weight . . .
Private journaling information –
. . . I have been talking today about how good it feels to have help, support, work as a team. I am sad about (relationship ending – touch, oxytocin, etc.) My dad and I cuddled and I gained weight because he and I ate all the sugary foods. I do want to create a relationship where I can be supported by someone when I work out and get healthier. I don’t want to wait for a relationship. For this part I will get a trainer. Oh, that feels better. Whew! Again, I don’t have to do it alone!
What I realized is that even though I am very self-motivated, in this area of my life, I am NOT! I do need help.
When it was my turn, I shared my writing and my “ah-ha” with the group. One of the women shared that she meets with her trainer 5 x a week. She said she lost weight but needed to build muscle and it was doctor recommended!
So I am making an appointment with an athletic trainer!