“I did my best, it wasn’t much, I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch.”
Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah
After traveling for about 20 hours, we flew into Dubai. I had not been to this airport before and was happy to see it was connected to a hotel and there was a spa where I could get a massage.
After making an appointment at the Spa, I caught up on my blog and chatted with the young man who ran the resource room. He was delighted to hear I was a psychic medium and I gave him my card. He reported he was from the Philippines and enjoyed working in Dubai. I was excited to get into have my massage so quickly, even though I had a six-hour layover. Unwittingly, I rejected the offer from Emirates Airlines (via email) to upgrade to business class. I thought I would be sleeping most of the time and the $350 seemed an unnecessary splurge. Not a smart move on my part. As it turned out, the seats in the Boeing 777 were close together and there was not much legroom to spread out.
When I approached the Spa counter, I changed my mind to a 90-minute appointment and it was well worth it. I started with a much needed shower to wash the airplane experience from my skin and to start afresh. The essential oils were delightful as the massage therapist began working on the backs of my legs. She took extra time on my lower legs and I thought she was stuck, like a record player, but soon realized after flying, that my legs (other than neck and back) needed the most nurturing!
In the dream state, as I received healing touch, I realized that massage was Universal! Whether I am in India, Ireland, Japan or the US, the process is similar. Depending upon our culture and the nurturing we received from our parents, the need for touch varies, but we all need to be touched.
After the massage I asked if she knew about Reiki and she did not. The next time I am on my way to India, I may stop over in Dubai and teach a Reiki weekend class! Thank goodness for touch! I feel so much better!
(Note: Didn’t have internet until today and I want to share, due to the massage, I have no jet-lag at all!)
It was deep into his fiery heart
He took the dust of Joan of Arc,
And then she clearly understood
If he was fire, oh then she must be wood.
I saw her wince, I saw her cry,
I saw the glory in her eye.
Myself I long for love and light,
But must it come so cruel, and oh so bright?
– Leonard Cohen
In a previous blog we looked at how to know when you are in a dysfunctional relationship. Now, let’s look at addictive relationships. These relationships tend to begin quickly and move fast! The beginning is a roller coaster of fun and quickly begins to crash. The attachment is strong because the other person matches your family experience. It is familiar. Generally, those who become relationally addicted or codependent come from alcoholic or drug addicted home.
Here are some Characteristics of an Addictive Relationship.
1. Your needs are not being met.
2. You put your partner’s needs above your own.
3. Something always needs to be processed or fixed.
4. You smile when you are angry.
5. You are afraid to rock the boat.
6. You vacillate between being madly in love and then hurt and angry.
7. Your partner may be emotionally or physically abusive.
8. You make excuses for your partner’s behavior.
9. You experience shame when your partner makes a mistake.
10. You are diminished in the relationship.
11. You know your relationship is not good, but you can’t fix it.
12. You feel trapped, but don’t believe anyone else would love you.
13. You find yourself crying all the time and trying harder and harder.
There is help and the process of healing can be extraordinary.
Recovered codependents, because of their keen abilities are often very successful in many areas of their lives.
The book Codependent No More by Melody Beatty is a good place to start. You can also find a 12 Step Meeting. If your partner is addicted then Al-Anon is a great step. If not, if you had alcoholic, drug-addicted, or dysfunctional parents, the 12 Step Program Adult Children of Alcoholics is helpful. You can also find help with a local counselor drug treatment agency.