Your Biography is Your Biology

Posted: December 28, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: 12 weeks to self healing, Biography, Biology, Candess Campbell, Carolyn Myss, Chakra, communication, Domingo, emotion, Energy, fifth chakra, healing, intuitive, iwannabeaskinnybitch, journal, Medical, Medical Intuitive, Myss, Self-Healing, thyroid, ultra-sound | 5 Comments

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.

The challenge is to silence the mind.

― Caroline Myss

First of all I want to wish you a Happy Holiday!

There has been so much that has happened in the last few weeks and my apologies for not staying on track here.

Finally, after two years of ultra-sounds and watching the lump near my thyroid grow, I decided to have my thyroid removed. The self-healing tools I used were helpful in some areas, but did not heal the thyroid.

This was a difficult decision because I believe in self-healing, but in my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming through Energy Medicine, I also write self-healing is sometimes the decision to use medication or allopathic medicine.

Carolyn Myss, a medical intuitive, says that “your biography is your biology” and I believe this to be true. I have been journaling and reflecting and looking at what emotional and energetic patterns are related to the problem in my fifth chakra (The Power of Communication.) I am clear on some and not on others and will be sharing this in the future.

Prior to the removal of my thyroid and the plum size lump, as well as the new lump that the doctor said looked “suspicious,” I communicated with my thyroid and could clearly see that the lump was encompassing it. What the doctor said was that is was what they call an “angry” thyroid. It made sense to me that I would be tired all the time because my body was doing everything it could to heal the thyroid.

For now though, I am grateful that my energy is much better. I wake up feeling energized and at night I am “sleepy” not the usual “tired” all the time.

I am on track again and my focus is to increase my energy by even more movement in the next month. I will return to weight training next week, and Domingo is waiting for the long walk I promised him.

: Mom, let’s go!

Here is a Journal Exercise I often use. I think you’ll like it.

Inventory

Your journal is a great place to inventory yourself. If you need to be uplifted, write things about yourself that make you feel good. If you are stuck, you might find it useful to write about what you would like to change. I love what Caroline Myss recommended at a workshop I attended. She suggested, “Write out everything you are doing you know you should not be doing and everything you are not doing you know that you should be doing.”¹⁰

Not Giving Up!

Posted: September 4, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA, Iwannabeaskinnybitch | Tags: body, C J Redwine, Candess, Candess Campbell, candesscampbell.com, Chakra, communication, Defiance, diet, Domingo, exercise, give up, Health, hope, Hydrocodone, iwannabeaskinnybitch, mind, personal trainer, redline, Spirit, trainer, weight, weight loss | 3 Comments

“It’s probably my job to tell you life isn’t fair, but I figure you already know that. So instead, I’ll tell you that hope is precious, and you’re right not to give up.” ― C.J. Redwine, Defiance

This series of blogs called iwannabeaskinnybitch.com began July 30, 2014. This has been my journey into health, exercise and weight loss after having a breakthrough in the journal class I was facilitating on the Fifth Chakra – The Power of Communication. You can read the whole story in this blog, but it ended with clear communication with mySelf and getting a personal trainer for exercise.

Well, I just about lost it! I was on a great path, being motivated and eating well and losing weight. Then I had some oral surgery which involved Hydrocodone, the withdrawal from Hydrocodone. Ugh!

Even though, Domingo walked me daily and we took some incredibly beautiful long walks. The day I was scheduled to go back to the gym, it was a rainy day. After a series of really hot days, I really wanted to just curl up and read.

I could see how I would have found all kinds of excuses not to go to the gym. Then I would be upset with myself and possibly give up on the process all together.

Luke Brady

My scheduled appointment with Luke Brady was a godsend! I looked forward to his reminder text and showed up wimpy and disheveled. I just about lost it – I almost gave up. Instead – I left the gym energized, feeling hot, happy, motivated and back on track.

Whatever your struggle to get healthy, whether it be changes in diet, increasing your movement or educating yourself about your body, mind, Spirit connections – invest in yourSelf! Don’t give up!

September 2014 Astrological Forecast!

Posted: September 2, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA, Iwannabeaskinnybitch | Tags: 2014, Astrology, Autumn, Candess, Candess Campbell, Capricorn, communication, Earth, Equinox, feminine, Forecast, Full moon, Gemini, harvest, holiday, LIbra, Mars, Mercury, moon, negotiation, Pisces, Pluto, retrograde, Sagittarius, Scorpio, September, Stillwaters, stillwatersastro, Super Full Moon, super moon, Venus, Virgo | 8 Comments

“Millionaires don’t use Astrology, billionaires do.”

Thanks to Lee of StillwatersAstro for this great forecast!

Contact him for a personalized Reading!

http://www.stillwatersastro.com

Candess

Journaled my Breakthrough!

Posted: August 8, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: athletic, athletic trainer, build muscle, Campbell, Candess, Candess Campbell, Chakra, communication, fifth chakra, iwannabeaskinnybitch, journal, karate, motivated, relationship, thyroid, weight, weight gain | 3 Comments

Day One

Wouldn’t you know! It was when I was facilitating a journal class on the fifth chakra (throat – communication) that it all came to me. In one of the writing exercises I realized how great it was to have the support I am receiving in my business. I have a Mahfuzul who does my websites, Filip who edits the sound on my mp4s, Robert who fixed my Outlook issues, and Julie who is absolutely the best bookkeeper ever! Great awareness.

The next sentence stem was picked by one of the students. We wrote “What I need to change is. . .” Well, was I ever surprised!

My writing went like this. What I need to change is what I need to change. What the __ does that mean? A little anger here. Some pain is coming up. My face – there is pressure near my eyes and cheeks. I am feeling defensive and protective of myself. This really hit a nerve. What? I am breathing deeply. My solar plexus is tight. My throat is closing up. Okay this is the 5^th chakra so let’s talk about my thyroid. I have a lump on my thyroid the size of a plum. Okay. I am getting clearer. I feel like crying. I feel hopeless around my weight . . .

Private journaling information –

. . . I have been talking today about how good it feels to have help, support, work as a team. I am sad about (relationship ending – touch, oxytocin, etc.) My dad and I cuddled and I gained weight because he and I ate all the sugary foods. I do want to create a relationship where I can be supported by someone when I work out and get healthier. I don’t want to wait for a relationship. For this part I will get a trainer. Oh, that feels better. Whew! Again, I don’t have to do it alone!

What I realized is that even though I am very self-motivated, in this area of my life, I am NOT! I do need help.

When it was my turn, I shared my writing and my “ah-ha” with the group. One of the women shared that she meets with her trainer 5 x a week. She said she lost weight but needed to build muscle and it was doctor recommended!

So I am making an appointment with an athletic trainer!

Are you ready for a breakthrough?

Iwannabeaskinnybitch!

Steps to Resolving Conflict

Posted: January 24, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: aggressive, anger, aura, Beach, body, body language, boundaries, Brighton, Brighton Beach, Brighton Beach Memoirs, broken record, broken record method, Candess, Candess Campbell, Candess M. Campbell, clear communication, clearing conflict, communication, communication patterns, conflict, desire, direct communication, emotions, energetic, Energy, fantasy, fearful, golden white light, ground your energy, grounding, grounding cord, healthy, healthy boundaries, heart, heaven, honest communication, hurt, I heard, I heard you say, IHUS, Interplayers, intuition, Jewish, journal, language of life, life, light, Marshall B Rosenberg, Memoirs, negative, negative communication patterns, Neil Simon, Nich Witham, Nonviolent, nonviolent communication, nonviolent communication a language of life, parents, passive, passive aggressive, poverty, puberty, relationship, relationship series, Rosenberg Marshall Rosenberg, sexual, Simon, steps, subversive, Theatre, white light | 2 Comments

“Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them.” Blanche
“Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive.” Kate”

Neil Simon, Brighton Beach Memoirs

Recently at Interplayers Theatre, I saw the play Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon. It was an incredible performance that exemplified the topic at hand – conflict.

The story is about Eugene, an adolescent, Jewish boy in 1937. He recalls his memories of living with his parents, aunt, two female cousins, and his brother at a time when he was going through puberty, sexual fantasy, poverty, and living in a crowed home. In this play, Eugene Jerome, played by Nich Witham, gave an over-exaggerated sense (in a fantastic performance) of not being heard and doing what he could to find his place and get his needs met in this family.

This play was a great backdrop for me to expound on how to resolve conflict and the pitfalls of communication. Here are some helpful steps.

Clear with this person on an energetic level.

1. Ground your energy. Here is a video that will teach you to do this. http://bit.ly/wBHJbh

2. You have an aura around you which is part of your energetic self. Imagine pulling your aura in around your body. Pull it in about 6 – 8 inches around you.

3. Focus in your heart and bring your attention out of the top of your head into the heavens.

4. Image the person there with you. At this level, send them love from your heart. You may also imagine sending them golden white Light from your heart.

5. If you can do this without anger or negative feelings, talk with them at this level

6. Come back down, image yourself filling up with golden white Light and release any leftover energy down your grounding cord.

Steps to resolve conflict in person.

1. Write out the situation in your journal and then re-read it the next day. Sometimes it helps to do this a few times, so that you can become clear on what happened and what you want to communicate.

2. Become aware of your own part of the situation, even if you perceive it to be minor in comparison to the other person.

3. If you are angry, look at where you may be feeling hurt or fearful. These emotions are often right under the surface of anger. Feel your feelings and let them go. Journal them over and over if need be.

4. Contact the person you are having conflict with and use clear, direct, honest communication. I suggest you meet in person (not via text or email) because this allows you not only to read the body language, but also to open your heart.

5. Give the other person the chance to communicate their side completely. It is helpful to use the words, “I heard you say,” and repeat back to them what you heard and let them clarify. This helps them to feel heard. You can hear what someone is saying without agreeing with them. It is important that you hear.

6. Once the other person feels heard, share your side. They may not listen well and you may not feel heard. If that is the case use the broken record method. Continue to say the core message again and again, “I hear what you say, and .” Yes, that is true, and _.” Do this until they are able to understand they are not hearing you.

7. Make a request of the person such as “My request is we put this behind us and go on from here,” or “My request is that we continue to meet and talk weekly until we can resolve this.” You can use whatever it is that you desire.

8. Trust your intuition, and use as many of these steps as you would like. If the person is not willing to meet with you or clear the situation with you, then move on and let it go. No longer allow them into your energy field and set healthy boundaries. (I will share more about this in a future video and blog.)

Sometimes people have a hard time clearing conflict because of negative communication patterns. Often these reactions were learned in early childhood as a survival response to a dysfunctional family. In this case they may triangle in other people to take sides, or become passive aggressive and rather than talking with you directly, they will be passive in their aggression in a subversive manner.

One of the books I recommend for healthy communication is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg

You can find other valuable information at http://candesscampbell.com/books/self-help-toolbox

OMG Dating!

Posted: January 22, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: 2014, Candess, Candess Campbell, communication, conversation, counselor, dating, dating online, dialogue, emotional, expert, Facebook, gender, Harry Potter, Health, Internet, JK Rowling, men, mental, mental health, online dating, Order of the Phoenix, relationships, sharing, single, Skype, social, social media, vibration, women | 2 Comments

“Well?” Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. “How was it?”
Harry considered it for a moment. “Wet,” he said truthfully.
Ron made a noise that might have indicated jubilation or disgust, it was hard to tell.
“Because she was crying,” Harry continued heavily.
“Oh,” said Ron, his smile faded slightly. “Are you that bad at kissing?”
“Dunno,” said Harry, who hadn’t considered this, and immediately felt rather worried. “Maybe I am.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Disagree if you want, but this is NOT the way to date online!

I receive emails each week from men on Facebook. Now, that is okay with me since after four years of being single, I decided to date this year – remember, my word for 2014 is Relationships!

I’m not sure what would constitute an expert on relationships, but being a counselor for over 30 years gives me some credentials. Mostly though, I think what I am sharing is from past dating on dating sites and seeing what works and what doesn’t. This is gender focused, and I am fine with feedback. Leave your comments!

Men – the Don’ts

1. Don’t contact a woman on FB (or other social media) and leave three long paragraphs of how beautiful they look and what you would want to do with and to her, like hold her, take her dancing, etc.

2. Not the best idea to write a diatribe of what you do and who you are in the first or second email.

3. Sharing paragraphs of what you believe and what she should believe early on will turn her off!!

Men – the Do’s

1. When you contact a woman on Facebook, you may want to say “hi” and start with a comment about something she posted. This is an invitation to begin a dialogue and she sees that you have read her page (not just looked at her photo) She knows you are interested in her.

2. Share some things about yourself. Women are generally good at asking questions; so don’t overwhelm her with unsolicited sharing. Be aware of sharing too much too fast. Let the conversation unfold.

3. If you want to begin a conversation and a possible relationship, Facebook is not match.com. It can be too much for you both to disclose in the format of listing exactly what you want in a partner. You will rarely find all of it anyway, and not meeting all the criteria can stop the dialogue.

Women – Don’ts

1. This may seem odd to say, but believe me, I have seen this happen a lot! Don’t fall in love on the Internet! What people post whether it be photos or what they say may not be true. Have you ever watched the TV show Catfish!

2. Take some time to let the conversation unfold and see how the communication goes. You may not answer for a day or two (busy) and he may be fine with that or be reactive. Let his true personality come through.

3. Don’t give away too much information. Don’t give away money (I’ve seen it) or buy a plane ticket to see him or for him to see you. Be aware. Don’t be needy.

Women – Do’s

1. After a few emails, if you feel like you may want to get to know the person, ask him to Skype with you. This is better than the phone. You can hear his voice and see what he is doing. One of my clients did this and the man who she Skyped with was playing a game on his phone the whole time. NEXT. . . (A man who wrote paragraphs about my beauty last week contacted me. After checking out his FB page, I said “let’s Skype” and he disappeared!)

2. Trust your gut. Be aware and catch the first “hit” from your gut. Often in my counseling practice when a client is ending a relationship, I ask “when did you know this wasn’t right for you?” More often than not, they reply, the first day, week, etc.

3. We attract a partner who is at our same vibration. This can mean mental or emotional health. If you don’t feel like you have the self-esteem, confidence, or emotional health, work on yourself first. Whether you see a counselor, coach, healer, read a book, go to some kind of meetings, it doesn’t matter. Focus on, and heal yourself first. Then attract the man you deserve!

Well, I am hearing the word “harsh” in my head, but sometimes as a counselor, I think I have seen too much! Let’s finish with wishing you happy dating, and love ever after!

What do you think?

Listen to What you Say!

Posted: January 12, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: Alfred Brendel, Brendel, Candess Campbell, Candess M. Campbell, communication, emotion, emotional, Energy, energy healer, heal, healer, hear, intuitive, Listen, needs, PhD, reiki, relationships, share, silence, social media | 6 Comments

“The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’.”
― Alfred Brendel

Although I love social media, when using it, we often make connections that are more about quantity than quality. Hopefully, the relationships you create can meet your emotional needs as well as your other needs.

When you are actually in the presence of someone you can deepen the communication. Deepening relationships is important to emotional health. What happens is, when you get to let people get to know you, you begin to know yourself. When you hear yourself share, you hear yourself share!

When I taught my Intuitive Mastery Class yesterday, I heard myself say, “I don’t let many people work in my energy field. Not all healers are the same.” We were talking about Reiki and other forms of energy healing. As I thought about it later, I realized that I sounded judgmental and I decided to look at whether I was being judgmental, protective of my students, or both. What I could have said was, “when you study to become an energy healer or a Reiki practitioner, it is important you do the emotional work and learn to keep your energy field clean. Also, when receiving energy work, discern whether or not the energy healer is the best fit for you.” These statements would have been more positive. Listening to myself when teaching assisted me in taking inventory of my attitude and speaking in a clear, loving manner.

Another incidence was in conversation with a dear friend of mine. She asked me if I realized I said, “do you know what I mean?” over and over. I began listening for this and had a difficult time hearing it. When we Skyped for an hour one day, she pointed it out to me. I said it so many times it was nauseating! I began to listen to myself and hopefully have learned not to keep asking, “Do you know what I mean!”

Listen to yourself and share with me what you hear on Facebook under this blog post, Day 11 in the Relationship Series!

Being the Pole

Posted: January 12, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: be the pole, body, boss, Candess, Candess Campbell, Candess M. Campbell, challenge, Change, children, communication, Energy, fluid, ground, mind, partner, PhD, reactive, relationship, shifting, Spirit, stable | Leave a comment

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life

Relationships are fluid and changing all the time. Communication is often a challenge and keeping up with the shifting can be disconcerting. In this video I teach you to “Be the Pole.” It is a great way to stay stable when you have a partner that is either reactive or changing their minds continually. Enjoy!

Getting it through your Thick Skull!

Posted: January 12, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: 1970s, 70’s, Abraham Verghese, All in the Family, Allen Ginsberg, Archie, Archie Bunker, Barbara Kingsolver, Burroughs, Candess, Candess Campbell, Candess M. Campbell, communication, cultures, Cutting for Stone, derisive, Edith Bunker, frustration, getting it through your thick skull, Ginsberg, Hegi, Kerouac, Kingsolver, mind, perspective, PhD, relationship, skull, Stones from the River, survival, The Poisonwood Bible, thick skull, thoughts, TV, Ursula Hegi, Verghese, views, writer | Leave a comment

I think it was when I ran into Kerouac and Burroughs – when I was 17 – that I realized I was talking through an empty skull… I wasn’t thinking my own thoughts or saying my own thoughts. Allen Ginsberg

“I can’t get it through your thick skull,” a character on a TV show says. What does it mean? Being a writer, I often listen for sayings and I wonder where they came from.

Have you ever talked with someone and you shared with her as clearly as you can, and when she responded, what she said had nothing to do with what you said?

Communication can be difficult when your head is full of your own thoughts. You are stuck in your own perspective and you can’t seem to find room for how anyone else sees the world.

What happens for all of us is we tend to defend ourselves by taking a stand on something. We see it our way, and close down our minds to other possibilities. In part, this can be a survival tool; to not become so sensitive to all that is happening around, and to just focus on our task.

In relationship though, this can be frustrating and derisive. Have you ever heard two people sharing with each other and you could see both sides, but they could not see the others point at all?

I remember an old 1970’s TV episode of All in the Family, with Archie and Edith Bunker. In this episode, they were discussing politics. Archie was irate when he found out Edith had voted for the opposing candidate from Archie’s. All he could see was his vote didn’t count. She had cancelled it out. They went round and round and he could not understand her vote had nothing to do with his. He would never understand this of course.

We all have this tendency to “have a thick skull” at times. Being a reader, I love seeing the world from other people’s perspective, especially other cultures. How I am in close relationship, well, that may be a different story.

The goal of course is to try to see situations from the other person’s perspective. This can be done in the privacy of your own mind. You don’t have to give up your position. Once you do practice seeing the other point of view though, it becomes easier. You don’t have to agree with the opposing view, but being open to hearing it and understanding why one would see it that way helps strengthen relationship.

Since I mentioned liking to read books that take on a different perspective, I’ll share three of my favorites.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

Enjoy!

Manifesting and Resistance

Posted: January 12, 2014 | Author: Candess M. Campbell, PhD | Filed under: Energy Medicine DNA | Tags: 2014, 30 day Blog Challenge, affection, Candess Campbell, Candess M. Campbell, choice, communication, connections, decision, exhaustion, heart, heartwarming, human-nature, humanity, inspirational, Manifest, manifesting, overwhelm, PhD, relationship, resistance, safe, stress, teach, thoughts | Leave a comment

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Soon after I chose my word for 2014 – Relationships – came the resistance. I am beginning to think that resistance may be the shadow side to most of what I want to manifest.

When I teach manifesting, I have my students or clients think about and write down specifically what they want to manifest. As soon as they do this, I encourage them to then write down all the thoughts of why they can’t have this. Now, this may appear counter-productive, but the reality is, these thoughts are going to either surface consciously or subconsciously and it is better to challenge them outright.

So I’ll use my word – relationships. I have made a decision to focus on relationships this year. The thoughts that surface are these:

I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people.
I will get hurt.
People will want more of me than I can give.
I’ll have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I’ll get exhausted.

Now, that I have identified the immediate concerns I have, I can challenge them.

I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people. – In this case, yes, I will do this. I have wanted to do this for a while and I can schedule my life with more play and less work and if I don’t resist this (stress and exhaustion) then I will really enjoy playing and being more present to friends and family.
I will get hurt. – Just because I am spending more time in my relationships and possibly allowing an intimate relationship, I don’t have to get hurt. I can move slowly, set necessary boundaries until I am confident and feel safe. I have a lot of skills and can use them in relationship. (You will notice that my resistance here appears to come from a need to feel safe.)
People will want more of me than I can give. – In this situation, the fear is not related to my friends and family, but more to other people. It will be necessary for me to be discerning of where I put my time and energy. It is not like a dam breaking. I can spend time with my friends and family without opening the floodgates to everyone. (overwhelm)
I will have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I will become exhausted. – In this case, becoming present is actually a way of being less exhausted. There will be people around me that I don’t have to be continually present with. I can be present with myself and focus my attention where I would like. I am in control. (exhaustion)

I hope this example demonstrates the fears that come right behind your decision to manifest. Now, you can be conscious of the fears and challenge them. The theme of this 30-day blog, is not just relationship to others, but relationship to yourself. You are in control of your life, your choices and your future!