“What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.”
It was an easy seven hour drive to Sisters, Oregon and when I arrived, I was so happy to spend time with my dear friends Doug and Katie Cavanaugh. Matthew Kocel, one of the speakers at The Healer’s Gathering was there too and I was able to listen to them jam! Dancing was fun too!
Where I really messed up on the drive though, was getting my second sugar-free soy latte on the road. Somehow my wisdom went out the door and almost half of my food intake was from lattes. Feel free to share why soy, coffee, and sugar free products are not healthy. I get it!
Rather than beating myself up though, I am going to journal and explore the Saboteur within. This clearly was a self-sabotaging behavior. According to the teachings of Caroline Myss there are 4 main archetypes we all share. They are the Child, Victim, Saboteur and Prostitute.
From Caroline’s Sacred Contracts class, her book and my own experiences, I have created a list of characteristics of the Saboteur archetype. The Saboteur Archetype is the Guardian of Choice.
The core issue of the Saboteur is fear of inviting changes into your life; changes that shape and deepen your spirit.
The other side of destruction is rebuilding and rebirth.
Use the saboteur to consciously dismantle areas of your life you need to fix or heal.
Makes itself known through disruption and resistance.
You can silence the saboteur with acts of courage and following your intuition. Listen to the small voice and make choices – small ones to begin with.
The shadow saboteur will play on your fears that you are not good enough to accomplish anything on your own.
We are afraid that if we are enlightened we will be alone, wont’ be vulnerable, capable of sensual love, so we feed the shadow saboteur, the part of use that is fragmented.
We fear empowerment because we think it will remove us from the warmth and comfort of loved ones.
We fear empowerment because we don’t want to be responsible for our actions and therefore consciously or unconsciously encourage our weakness and hold onto our fears; we do want to be around others that are empowered or enlightened though.
Work with your saboteur to see where you may be doing yourself in (what are you doing you know you should not be doing and what you are not doing that you know you should be doing?
When you make the saboteur your ally it can call your attention to ways you might be sabotaged or sabotage yourself and then you can make other choices The intellect of the scarecrow can work with your saboteur to alert you to when you are doing yourself in.
Join with me and delve into your own Saboteur and become clearer on your own Choices!
Brings up a great song memory doesn’t it? Well, I am driving at this time and on my way to two events. One is The Healer’s Gathering created by my dear friend Katie Cavanaugh. This is a group of 100 healers coming together “To Get Inspired and Empowered to Awaken your Healing Wisdom as You Tap into the Highest Purpose of your Soul!”
I am so excited to spend this time with Katie and the others who are on a similar path. Today is a driving day and so I will check in tomorrow. In addition to the veggies I’ll snack on I have some yogurt and cheese sticks. Not the best food, but being hypoglycemic, I know my body’s requirements around protein and carbohydrates and I don’t cook.
I’ll share about the second event later!
If you are interested in this 10 day trip –
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Much of what I have taught over the years has been about manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, often you have to bring the past into present time to heal. What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present. Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.
Living in the past can create depression.
Living in the future can create anxiety.
When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One that I teach is to become aware of the memories and the wounds. Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.
The ones you can identify is where to start. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA. When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.
Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.
People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there things you do that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect.
Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.
You may have had desires, demands or expectations of someone. Then you find they didn’t either give you what you wanted or they behaved in ways that hurt you.
If this is so and is in the past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, it is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, they then have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.
If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one until it is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.
Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.
Clearing frees you to live in present time.