Deadlines

“Goals are dreams with deadlines.”        ― Diana Scharf

This is the first post that actually talks about weight. The focus of this blog is moving into health and fitness which includes for me, weight loss.

 Although a soft deadline, I had family coming for a BBQ on Sunday, so Saturday I needed to mow my lawn. I waited until it cooled off outside to pull out my little push mower and mow. This lead to cleaning the shed and then pruning the ivy and 90 minutes later my face I was dripping from the heat. Since I was cleansing with Chinese herbs, my face had been breaking out and I planned to go to the gym for a steam. Working in the yard and clearing my skin was much better. This deadline to get my yard ready for guests had great benefits!

 Since, I needed to cool off before I showered, I checked my iPhone. There was an emergency call from a client. The returned call turned out to an hour session. Just as I ended the call, a dear friend called who I had not talked to for awhile. (Mind you – I rarely talk on the phone unless I’m walking and talking.) We spent close to an hour catching up! Afterward, it was time for dinner, but when I looked at the clock, it was really closer to time for bed. Surprisingly, I wasn’t really hungry, even though I hadn’t eaten since noon. My head over rid my habit and I showered and went to bed.

 The next morning when I weighed myself, the scale moved down a set of numbers and I was delighted! 

weight-scale-help-400x265

So what I learned is this.

  1. Set deadlines around activities that include movement. (Not just deadlines that require my laptop!)

  2. At least in the late afternoon/evening, if my blood sugar drops, it won’t put me into a feeding frenzy. It’s okay not to eat if I am not hungry.

  3. Distract myself in the evenings and break patterns that include eating.

Share any of your success tips!

Iwannabeaskinnybitch!


India

“India shaped my mind, anchored my identity, influenced my beliefs, and made me who I am. …

India matters to me and I would like to matter to India.” 
― Shashi Tharoor

As I continue in this relationship series and also pack for my trip to India, I am feeling a little reminiscent of my previous trip to India.

Today, I have a video blog. It is a little self-indulgent, but I’ll just present it as one way of being in relationship with oneself. Enjoy!

India 2010 097

The Wedding Raja and I attended!

India 2010 2 262

Dinner at the Taj – Ray Boy, Raja and Candess

My new friend!

My new friend!

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa

Travel has always created magical changes in my life and hopefully that of others. When I sat at the Tomb of Mother Teresa I cried and cried. It was cleansing and healing and she has now come to be one of my guides.  I look forward to the many souls I will meet in the next few weeks! Blessings to all who read this post!


Go Seattle Seahawks!

 

“The problem with winter sports is that — follow me closely here — they generally take place in winter.” 
― Dave Barry

015We are about 90 minutes away from the kickoff between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. This spurs me on to talk about families.

Many of us felt like the stork dropped us off at the wrong doorstep, but eventually learned to love the people who raised us, even if it took years of therapy.

One of the fond memories of my childhood was to sit with my dad and watch football. Over the years, others would come and go during the games, but it was an excitement I won’t forget. Later, when my brother and I were older, my dad created a brick out of foam to throw at the TV. It was so funny watching adults behave this way.

Today, I have several choices of where to watch the game, but I think I’m going to choose to sit with Domingo, my dog while I watch, and remember my dad.

Go, Seahawks!

By the time you read this, the game may be over, but if not – join me!


Passionate Loving Relationship Opportunity

January 14, 2014

 “Happiness [is] Only Real When Shared”           

                                  ― Jon KrakauerInto the Wild

Are you a couple that would like to increase the success of your relationship?

With my word for the year being Relationships, it is apropos for me to share this incredible program by my friend and colleague, Valerie Lipstein.

Having counseled couples for many years, I see this is exactly what I was looking for to support my clients.

You will intuitively know if this is right for you!

The statistics on first marriages ending in the US is very telling…..50% end in divorce. Yet it’s worse for second and third marriages (67% and 72% respectively!)

It’s obvious that people are challenged in relationships and often feel alone and unsupported (This applies to those who are unmarried as well).

What about the other 50% of the couples who stay in first time marriages? Some people who stay in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships do it for the children or for security or a number of others reasons.

Valerie Lipstein, the CEO of Inspired Living Now, a coaching and consulting business is committed to supporting couples thrive personally and professionally.

She knows firsthand how horrible this feels and how it impacts everything in your life when your relationship is rocky. She and her husband of 33 years have experienced difficult times and almost “gave up” until they made a commitment to live and love courageously.

They have created the Courageous Loving Program to support couples and incorporates what they did in their own marriage and many other practical strategies with proven results. Valerie’s husband, Michael, is a psychotherapist specializing in working with couples. Their approach combines proven methods from counseling and coaching modalities.

Check it out and let me know what you think!

https://ue145.infusionsoft.com/go/COUPLES/Candess


Listen before it’s too Late!

 

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. CoveyThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

 

It is an enlightening view, sitting in my chair in my office as a mental health counselor. I am honored to sit with clients as they share about their lives and their relationships and I see themes unfold.

We have ended the year and are into the New Year.  As I look ahead at new beginnings, it reminds me of one of the most common themes. When working with couples, I notice that, for most, by the time they enter my office, it’s too late.

couples

Too often one of them attempted continually to communicate with the other, without being heard. Sadly, I watch their last attempt to keep the marriage together. The partner, let’s say the man, who has not really heard, but has listened as if she was nagging or on a rampage over something, finally understands. It is too late now for him to realize that what she was saying was important. So important, that the marriage is now over. I see him groveling and trying to make sense of it all. In the safety of another person (me) she says, “I’m sorry, but it is just too late.”

Many of us have ended relationships before the New Year. I remember myself, many years ago, sitting outside Nordstroms, having coffee with my lover on December 29th. I said, “I am sorry, but it’s over.” This was difficult to say and it was painful. I had felt though, that what I said over and over, didn’t matter and I was “pushing the river,” in order to create a change for us. It didn’t work. Once I was honest and ended the relationship; although painful, it was also exhilarating.

When I am with clients and they are suffering over a relationship, I often ask, “when did you first know this was not the right situation for you?” More than I would like to hear, they say, “in the beginning.” If not, they knew years before they decided to make a change.

Whether it be a love relationship, a work relationship or a family situation, “when you begin to lose your voice, your self-esteem, your sense of personal power; it is time to make some kind of a shift.”


Sentence Stems for the New Year!

Many of us are making positive changes in our lives in the New Year.  I’d like to offer you a writing tool for making changes called Sentence Stems. The best way to do this is to find a notebook or journal and a fast writing pen.  There are two ways to use these stems. One is to just complete the sentence as fast as you can without thinking. The second way is to complete the sentence and then journal for 20 minutes. When you journal for 20 minutes you can set a timer and when you are stuck just write, “I don’t know what to say” over and over until you become unstuck. This takes you deeper, underneath the surface thoughts. If you would prefer typing that is fine. These are both great tools. Enjoy!

   Family

I can improve my relationships with my family this year by . . .

What I need to complete with my family is . . .

I am happiest with my family when . . .

 

   Work/Career

What challenges me about my work is . . .

What I love about my work is . . .

When I have my ideal work situation I will be . . .

    Friends

I support my friends the most by . . .

The friends I depend upon the most provide me with . . .

I am really drained by . . .

   Health

This year I will improve my health by . . .

I get frustrated with myself when I continue to . . .

My health is so much better since I . . .

   Creativity/Spirituality

This year I will make time to . . .

I am so fulfilled and ecstatic when I . . .

Gratitude fills my heart when . . .

   Travel/Play

Play for me is . . .

My travel plans for this year are . . .

I am most alive when I . . .


Word for 2012!

Millions of people are making their To Do lists, setting goals, saying prayers, and creating inspirations for the coming year. Some time during the year they forget their lists.  When December comes around, they search for last years list and plan for the next year. What was it they were focused upon?

Keeping with the title of my next book, Less is More: Slowing Down in an Over-Stimulating World, I focus upon one word each year. The word for 2011 was Write, and write I did. I just sent my manuscript for 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine to the editor, Pamela Maliniak!

My word for 2012 is Food. One year my word was money, and I brought consciousness to money. I studied about money, read practical books about money, opened an Ameritrade account and played with money, focused on how I spent money, gave money away, cleared any past guilt or fear around money, visualized having more money, and my income increased substantially that year.

 This year I am focusing on Food. When I was age 14 I had a contusion and lost my sense of smell.  I have had only tongue taste most of my life. This lack of taste has made it difficult for me to gravitate toward cooking and to grasp using spices. Without the sense of smell there has been a disconnect between a store full of grocery items and an actual meal on the table. Although I binge on “foodie shows,” I love my Vita-Mix and generally drink a meal daily. I did recently learn how to cook soup!

So this year, 2012, I will focus on Food! The “foodie shows” I watch will shift from being distractions to cooking lessons! I will read cookbooks, make shopping lists, explore new foods, play with spices, and explore this wonderful world of nutrients that nourish and create my body.

Hey, I may even have you over for dinner. If I am on track with my goal, I won’t even ask you to cook!

Join me in choosing a word for 2012! Invite your children to do this with you. It’s a great family activity!