“Goals are dreams with deadlines.” ― Diana Scharf
This is the first post that actually talks about weight. The focus of this blog is moving into health and fitness which includes for me, weight loss.
Although a soft deadline, I had family coming for a BBQ on Sunday, so Saturday I needed to mow my lawn. I waited until it cooled off outside to pull out my little push mower and mow. This lead to cleaning the shed and then pruning the ivy and 90 minutes later my face I was dripping from the heat. Since I was cleansing with Chinese herbs, my face had been breaking out and I planned to go to the gym for a steam. Working in the yard and clearing my skin was much better. This deadline to get my yard ready for guests had great benefits!
Since, I needed to cool off before I showered, I checked my iPhone. There was an emergency call from a client. The returned call turned out to an hour session. Just as I ended the call, a dear friend called who I had not talked to for awhile. (Mind you – I rarely talk on the phone unless I’m walking and talking.) We spent close to an hour catching up! Afterward, it was time for dinner, but when I looked at the clock, it was really closer to time for bed. Surprisingly, I wasn’t really hungry, even though I hadn’t eaten since noon. My head over rid my habit and I showered and went to bed.
The next morning when I weighed myself, the scale moved down a set of numbers and I was delighted!
So what I learned is this.
Set deadlines around activities that include movement. (Not just deadlines that require my laptop!)
At least in the late afternoon/evening, if my blood sugar drops, it won’t put me into a feeding frenzy. It’s okay not to eat if I am not hungry.
Distract myself in the evenings and break patterns that include eating.
Share any of your success tips!
“India shaped my mind, anchored my identity, influenced my beliefs, and made me who I am. …
India matters to me and I would like to matter to India.”
― Shashi Tharoor
As I continue in this relationship series and also pack for my trip to India, I am feeling a little reminiscent of my previous trip to India.
Today, I have a video blog. It is a little self-indulgent, but I’ll just present it as one way of being in relationship with oneself. Enjoy!
Travel has always created magical changes in my life and hopefully that of others. When I sat at the Tomb of Mother Teresa I cried and cried. It was cleansing and healing and she has now come to be one of my guides. I look forward to the many souls I will meet in the next few weeks! Blessings to all who read this post!
“The problem with winter sports is that — follow me closely here — they generally take place in winter.”
― Dave Barry
Many of us felt like the stork dropped us off at the wrong doorstep, but eventually learned to love the people who raised us, even if it took years of therapy.
One of the fond memories of my childhood was to sit with my dad and watch football. Over the years, others would come and go during the games, but it was an excitement I won’t forget. Later, when my brother and I were older, my dad created a brick out of foam to throw at the TV. It was so funny watching adults behave this way.
Today, I have several choices of where to watch the game, but I think I’m going to choose to sit with Domingo, my dog while I watch, and remember my dad.
By the time you read this, the game may be over, but if not – join me!
Millions of people are making their To Do lists, setting goals, saying prayers, and creating inspirations for the coming year. Some time during the year they forget their lists. When December comes around, they search for last years list and plan for the next year. What was it they were focused upon?
Keeping with the title of my next book, Less is More: Slowing Down in an Over-Stimulating World, I focus upon one word each year. The word for 2011 was Write, and write I did. I just sent my manuscript for 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine to the editor, Pamela Maliniak!
My word for 2012 is Food. One year my word was money, and I brought consciousness to money. I studied about money, read practical books about money, opened an Ameritrade account and played with money, focused on how I spent money, gave money away, cleared any past guilt or fear around money, visualized having more money, and my income increased substantially that year.
This year I am focusing on Food. When I was age 14 I had a contusion and lost my sense of smell. I have had only tongue taste most of my life. This lack of taste has made it difficult for me to gravitate toward cooking and to grasp using spices. Without the sense of smell there has been a disconnect between a store full of grocery items and an actual meal on the table. Although I binge on “foodie shows,” I love my Vita-Mix and generally drink a meal daily. I did recently learn how to cook soup!
So this year, 2012, I will focus on Food! The “foodie shows” I watch will shift from being distractions to cooking lessons! I will read cookbooks, make shopping lists, explore new foods, play with spices, and explore this wonderful world of nutrients that nourish and create my body.
Hey, I may even have you over for dinner. If I am on track with my goal, I won’t even ask you to cook!
Join me in choosing a word for 2012! Invite your children to do this with you. It’s a great family activity!
I am honored and delighted to share this interview with Susie Leonard Weller. She shared with me that children mirror their parent’s brain. I am really curious about this.
Susie teaches Life Skills classes through the Institute for Extended Learning, Adult Basic Education program in Spokane, Washington. She received training through Herrmann International in North Carolina. They studied brain research for over 30 years to improve results at Fortune 500 companies. Susie has applied this research to strengthen family relationships. She is now a Certified Thinking Consultant and her book is Why Don’t You Understand? Improve Family Communication with the 4 Thinking Styles
Susie, I am really curious. What is whole brain thinking?
Susie: Thinking styles are innate preferences for how the brain gathers and processes information in distinct ways. It’s part of who we are. Just like we have a preferred hand to write with, we also have a preferred thinking style. We use our dominant hand more often because it’s easier. In a similar way, our brain requires less effort to talk with someone who shares the same thinking style.
Some people are more left-brained and make logical decisions with their head. Others are more right-brained and make relational decisions with their heart or gut instinct. A whole-brained approach integrates both of the left and the right-brain hemispheres, as well as our intellect and heart.
- No two people are alike. Our brains are wired differently, right from the start.
- Most family squabbles are linked to biological differences in how we think.
- The brain requires 100% more energy to think and communicate in its opposite style.
What styles are there?
Susie: There are four main thinking styles. Imagine the brain as a four-room house. The two upstairs rooms concentrate on problem solving or seeking new solutions. These are called the Logical and Creative thinking styles. The two downstairs rooms focus on handling everyday realities and maintaining relationships. These are called the Practical and Relational thinking styles. Although we might prefer spending more time in some rooms than others, those using a whole-brain approach can access necessary skills from any of these rooms whenever they are needed.
Here’s a brief summary of all four thinking styles:
Focuses on facts
Clarifies the bottom line
Likes to figure out how things work
Focuses on thinking outside the box
Is imaginative and playful
Like to be spontaneous
Focuses on follow through
Likes to plan ahead
Focuses on feelings
Is friendly and supportive
Likes meaningful conversations
How is it that children mirror their parent’s brain?
Susie: Babies are born with “mirror neurons.” They copy everything they see. An infant’s brain is like wet concrete. The earliest impressions make the deepest impact. Experience shapes their brain—both positively and negatively. Repeated patterns become hardwired as established neural pathways. Children “download” their parents’ beliefs and behaviors to survive. By the time children are three years old, about 85% of their brain is already wired with subconscious programming for how to relate to others.
What is the best way to deal with conflict?
Susie: Conflict is a given—even within healthy relationships. The best way to handle conflicts is learning how to respect and leverage our differences. Rather than polarizing people into extreme positions, try to hear the need underlying and fueling their behavior. Learn to speak in ways others understand instead of more “loudly” in your preferred style.
Each thinking style has strengths and challenges. Learn to see them as complementary rather than sources of irritation. For example, when Logicals only focus on the facts and minimize the role of emotions, Relationals feel discounted. And, Relationals need to develop a firm backbone as well as their heart. Likewise, Creatives and Practicals can antagonize each other by refusing to accept each other’s desire to explore options or to make timely decisions.
Opposite styles are like oil and vinegar. They don’t mix easily, but they add great zest to a salad. Rather than take conflicts personally, practice becoming multi-lingual and speak in all four thinking styles whenever needed.
The key to managing conflict is finding win/win solutions to meet each others’ needs. Families are 24/7 learning labs to develop life skills—particularly how to communicate with those who think differently than we do.
How can we best set limits?
Susie: In a half-brained world, discipline styles swing from one extreme to another. But, whole-brained parents know how to balance nurture with structure, as well as to play and problem solve. First, they acknowledge the feelings; then they set an appropriate limit. Adults set clear boundaries and follow through on consequences. Wise parents know when to take charge and when to follow the child’s lead to meet their needs for connection.
What could we do to be a wise parent or a wise communicator?
Susie: Under stress, our brain regresses to a more rigid style. To avoid melt downs, learn to practice the Four C’s of courageous conversations. They will soothe the emotional brain to shift gears more easily to use all four thinking styles as needed.
Logical: Clarify a common goal and code of conduct.
Relational: Care enough to seek understanding (not to prove you’re right) and protect the safety zone so that no one shuts down or becomes aggressive.
Creative: Cultivate choices of both/and rather than either/or positions.
Practical: Commit to practicing mutual respect on a regular basis and express at least five positive comments for every negative one. In my book, I also describe the NARN (Notice, Accept, Reflect & Nurture) Process for shifting the brain to a higher gear when triggered:
1. NOTICE what’s happening—physical, emotional and mental warning signals
2. ACCEPT and work with what is, rather than deny or dismiss it.
3. REFLECT on other possible options to resolve this situation or find ways to re-frame it.
4. NURTURE yourself by choosing a concrete action to calm yourself within this moment—breathe deeply, take a break, stretch, listen to music or hum a song.
In our half brain world, more whole-brain families are needed. Our children will face increasing complexities and challenges. As Albert Einstein said, “The problems we are causing can’t be resolved in the same state of consciousness in which we created them.” Our future depends on our ability to use our whole, creative brain to discover new ways to respect how we think, communicate, relate, play and even pray together.
Thank you Susie. This is a good beginning. How can readers get more information?
You can download FREE excerpts from my book by visiting my website: www.susieweller.com
In addition, for those who contact me, I’ll send a FREE 13-page report with 30 tips for how to calm yourself in stressful moments. They are organized by each thinking style to soothe you from head to toe.
Susie Leonard Weller, M.A. for personal coaching
Call USA (509) 255-6676
Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.susieweller.com