“India shaped my mind, anchored my identity, influenced my beliefs, and made me who I am. …
India matters to me and I would like to matter to India.”
― Shashi Tharoor
As I continue in this relationship series and also pack for my trip to India, I am feeling a little reminiscent of my previous trip to India.
Today, I have a video blog. It is a little self-indulgent, but I’ll just present it as one way of being in relationship with oneself. Enjoy!
Travel has always created magical changes in my life and hopefully that of others. When I sat at the Tomb of Mother Teresa I cried and cried. It was cleansing and healing and she has now come to be one of my guides. I look forward to the many souls I will meet in the next few weeks! Blessings to all who read this post!
In a weekly phone meeting with my dearest friends, this last week we talked about the chapter Waste No Time in Sonia Choquette’s book Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose.
What I realized is I have been busier than I would have liked the last few years and I am like a mother bear protecting her cub around my time. She says if you “squander your time” basically you hold yourself back and others too!
I loved that she said, “do not waste other people’s time either. It is emotionally indulgent and disrespectful to break agreements, send mixed messages, arrive late for appointment (or miss them altogether), or be unaccountable.
Several years ago I took the Landmark Forum and Advanced Forum. There I learned how important it is to follow through when I give my word. It is about who I am and how others will see me and whether or not I gain respect and trust from others.
Now, I am not saying I don’t mess up at times. Occasionally, for some odd reason a client appointment disappears from my calendar and I end up unprepared as someone shows up or I call a client because they missed an appointment and I hadn’t recorded they had cancelled. When this happens, I grovel appropriately and do whatever I need to do to make it right with them.
My time is valuable and so is yours.
My tendency has been, like I said, to mother-bear around protection of my time. I feel my time is being imposed on when I end up on the phone trapped in a circular system pressing buttons to get to a live person when I encounter the occasional mishaps around computer glitches, insurance claims or an issue with godaddy.com. Even so, my new growth goal is when I do get the live voice, to be polite and try not to ruin their day.
Thanks for taking your precious time to read this blog. Next time I will talk about space!
Now it is time to play!
Time is the only equal opportunity employer there is.
Have you ever
listened to a friend and thought “Can she even hear herself?” We all have
patterns of communication, and behavior for that matter, we don’t
I remember one
day my daughter said to me, “Mom, you’ve said that before, several times.” Many
of you know when I was 14 years old I had an accident that resulted in a Near
Death Experience with head injuries. As a result of this I have experienced some
memory problems. Another result of this trauma was I lost my sense of smell,
which also influences memory. A positive from the accident is a definite
increase in my intuition. When my brain was injured, my intuitive self took over
and now much of how I access information is intuitively.
continually challenge our brain, we can develop memory lapses. Since my
daughter’s comment, I have been working on being aware and not repeating myself.
Repeating can happen for reasons other than memory problems and brain injury. When one has a
history of not being heard, not being listened to by others, they can develop a
pattern of repeating. Saying the same thing over and over again can also come
from a lack of self-awareness. It can also be an ineffective way of trying to
heal an emotional wound. You may say the same thing over and over but nothing
changes. It would be more effective to change your behavior by accepting a
situation or changing your relationship with the problem; forgiving, leaving,
setting boundaries and such. Saying the same thing over and over can also be a
sign of ADD.
Have you ever
had a conversation with a friend, loved one or a co-worker who often repeated
the same thing and didn’t focus. Someone with whom you tried to create a plan,
but politely getting them to pay attention, listen and commit to a time was near
impossible? Instead they just kept telling you all the situations that went on
in their day and you were not able to set a meeting.
So, how to do
you communicate with friends, loved ones and co-workers that are ADD or have
Listed here are
some of the Inattentive Symptoms of ADD; not the Hyperactive Symptoms. This may
help you to identify why you’ve had some difficulty communicating with someone.
It can clarify why you may have felt frustrated and hopefully will give you some
helpful communication solutions for yourself.
mistakes/lack of attention to details
- Lack of
- Failure to
follow through on tasks
- Forgetful in
- Avoiding tasks
requiring sustained mental effort
how close you are to this person, you may want to research more about ADD and
continue to learn.
Here are some simple ideas that may help.
- Use emails as
your primary form of communication to set up meetings. This way you can scan the
email quickly for the details about the meeting.
- Start your
conversation with, “I have one minute to plan this meeting.”
- When the
person becomes tangential, politely bring them back to topic. “Oh, I’m sorry, I
have to go, when did you say you could meet?”
- Give the
person 3 clear choices of times.
- Be willing to
set a boundary.
- If the person
won’t be decisive, realize the meeting may not happen and move on.
- Plan your
communication with the person when you have enough time to go through the
process to get the meeting planned.
- Have a plan B
for your time so if their disorganization creates a last minute cancelation, it
won’t disrupt your life.
These are some
ideas that may be helpful. Again, if this is someone you live with or a
supervisor, I encourage you to find more information on this topic. One book you
may be interested in
Everybody Else Know That I Don’t?: Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention
Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder by Michele Novotni, PhD