Catawampus arose in the United States around 1840, during a particular vogue in elaborate coinages. Cata- stems from cater-, a now-archaic root meaning “diagonal,” while the source of -wampus is subject to debate. – dictionary.reference.com
When I awoke this morning I had a headache, pressure in the back of my neck and I couldn’t think. I knew my back was out which affected my neck. I rolled out of bed and headed directly to my inversion board hoping that hanging would help. Nope. I waddled downstairs and hung off the seat of my barcalounger, which always works, but nope. I was determined to go to the gym anyway because today was training day. First though, I made an appointment with my chiropractor for later.
Luke Brady, my athletic trainer said we would start today with leg presses and he showed me what to do. I let him know I was catawampus, but was happy to be there. The first set (even without the weights) and my back popped in! Yippee! I shared with him and we were both happy that the results of weight training were showing up in many ways.
Having already made the appointment with Dr. Patrick Dougherty (chiropractor and friend,) I took off to share the great news with him. By the time I got to his office, I felt so much better. Dr. Pat and I have taught some Kinesiology classes together and I love his incredible skill level. (Everyone loves Dr. Pat!)
He put me on the table, did some testing and he gently shared, “I need to put your head on straight.” Any other man!!! I was so grateful.
He did an adjustment and my body said yes!
I also had him test me for whether or not grains supported my body. In an earlier blog, I said I went off grains, but after a week, I didn’t feel any different, digestion was the same, there was not a difference in weight even though I replaced grains with vegetables and it just didn’t make sense for me to continue to stop.
He tested and said that my body did not test positive for grains, but that it was not a strong no, (my paraphrasing) and that if I did eat grains it could cause some inflammation and may make it harder to lose weight.
No longer feeling catawampus, I am just so grateful to have the support I have on my journey!
I am delighted to share with you this great information about the Saboteur’s Moon by Jon Waldrup, an Incarnational Astrologer. This is especially significant to me because I work with Karma and Clearing Karma. He explains it so well!
The first Full Moon of 2012 is tonight, January 8th at 11:30 PM Pacific Time. This is the Saboteur’s Moon. It wants to help us see how we compromise our heart-knowing in order to be comfortable, functional, accepted, etc. It wants to show us how allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable and exposed by our truth helps to set us free. For whenever we do ignore our heart’s truth in favor of fitting in, we close the karmic loop and make sure we go for another lap.
And with the Sun in Capricorn, what we would prefer to say is that our heart’s truth is always loving and light, so why would we ever disguise it? And how could there be shadow in our hearts?
There are so many angles to come from on that. If Romeo and Juliet is the world’s greatest love story then fatal co-dependence is love? I would say probably not, but it is a story of two people who lived from their hearts. They were certainly not afraid of being vulnerable, were they?
One of the shadow aspects of 20th century spirituality had to do with how many ways we were taught to suppress our karma, rather than live in it. Karma itself was given a bad name – who wants to deal with karma? The truth is that karma is actually the bridge between fate and destiny. It wants to help us to live Alive in Heaven on Earth.
If you are driving your car through an intersection and someone runs a red light and creams you, this is an example of Fate. The karmic piece of it has to do with how you deal with the emotions involved in the aftermath. Fate gives you the opportunity to work with your karma in order for you to grow towards your destiny.
Your karma is the particular tone of the shadow you are working with in this lifetime – rage, depression, dependence, etc. The karmic piece is the emotional piece. Our destiny is to understand the oneness, the perfection, of all of life – including fate and karma. Then we are on the spiral instead of the wheel.
So, it was fate that brought Romeo and Juliet together, so that they could explore the shadows of co-dependent love. And they did! And that is what makes their story so compelling. There is so much about their story that we could call unhealthy – we can look down on such organic, emotional, exposed ways of being.
But is that life? Why did your soul choose to come in to this plane, to have a heart that can be broken, that can lead you astray, that can expose you to shame and torment? Fate gives you the chance to live in your heart. Karma seeks to teach you that Life itself is Heavenly.
What I think is that because he went “all the way” with what his heart was asking him to do in response to the fateful relationship with Juliet, in his next life, perhaps Romeo was able to live quivering inside with gratitude for having had the chance to love so deeply – he was able to taste the anguish of loss and find it delicious. He was able to move beyond regret.
Will you accept The Invitation? Or will you live on the wheel of emotional avoidance?
Here is a smaller example. What if you know one thing and say another? Maybe something that you’ve expressed as truth for a long time turns out to be false. Maybe you’ve put a lot of heart into a certain moralistic stance and new experience points out the failings of your dogmatism. There is real vulnerability in admitting that you were wrong. And yet if you can, if you do, life springs forth from that and you find yourself further up the spiral.
The wisest person I have ever spoken with said to me, “I am most grateful for those times in my life when I was most out of control.” In other words, when the shadows in his heart came out, when he was most vulnerable to that sanitized, patriarchal way of looking at things that wants us to remain “in control” (i.e. Sun in Capricorn). Sometimes we have to say we’re sorry. So that we may grow.
The Saboteur is in us to point out ways in which we hide our truth. The patriarchal response to that is to suppress those aspects of ourselves which are outside the comfort zone. In that way of looking at things, those who live “with their heart on their sleeve” are to be looked down upon.
The truth is in your heart, and keeping it hidden keeps you on the wheel. When you express your truth, you go up the spiral.
This Full Moon, the first of 2012, is helping us to see how we have kept our truth hidden so that we may live within a dying civilization. How many laps on the wheel does it take to show us that the comfortable ways are getting us nowhere?
Tonight at 11:30 PM Pacific Time, the Moon, who teaches us our karma, is in the 19th Degree of Cancer. The Chandra symbol for this degree is, “An opossum comes out into the moonlight.” Let your vulnerable heart be seen. Allow yourself to experience your emotions, and to find life itself through them. Oh, it can hurt! Are you afraid?
Believe in Heaven, and that is what you will see.
Bless your heart,