Too Poor to Be Healthy?

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

 Jim Davis

too poor

 When I saw this photo recently, I found it to be disturbing. What do you think?

 

Iwannabeaskinnybitch!

CandessCampbell.com


A Chunk of Something!

When you find yourself pushing through and using caffeine or sugar to keep going, this is the time to listen to your innate ultradian rhythm and take a rest.

Candess M. Campbell12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain Through Energy Medicine

One of the easiest ways to get off track when you are changing your eating and exercising habits is to have a chunk of something get in the way. This chunk can be a work situation, a family crisis, a project, dating, or like me recently – travel!

On the road!

On the road!

I really enjoyed my trip to Sisters, Oregon and had a blast. I was gone for 10 days and although the food there was healthy, I also was with friends and two glasses of wine would take up a third of my points (yes I use the WW point system when I record food) for the day. 

Dinner with Katie Cavanaugh!

Dinner with Katie Cavanaugh!

Well, one thing I found out is that as soon as I got home, my body craved to go back to eating the way I had before. I eat less food and because I am careful with sugar, I rarely have cravings.

Having my scheduled appointment with Luke Brady at the gym with was helpful. It kept my focus on my health. I don’t feel like I have been off track at all. Even in the interim while traveling, I knew I was on a path forward and so taking a little break and having wine with my friends was not an issue at all.

Luke and Candess

Luke and Candess

Focusing ahead on the goal and knowing I am in process and going to get there is helpful. Now, a week after I returned from my trip, my weight is back to where I was when I left and I am happy as can be.

This blog has also motivated me to resume my blog on my website CandessCampbell.com 

Join me there for blogs about intuition, health, travel, and get some free videos on Self-Healing!

Iwannabeaskinnybitch!


The Child Archetype

Archetypes are systems of readiness for action, and at the same time images and emotions.

Carl Jung

The last few days of The Healer’s Gathering in Sisters, Oregon has been great. Whenever we attend powerful healing workshops like this, people have childhood issues surface and they have the opportunity to process their feelings and heal the Child Archetype.

The Healer's Gathering!

The Healer’s Gathering!

The Child Archetype is the one of the four main archetypes: the Child, the Victim, the Prostitute and the Saboteur explained in Caroline Myss’s incredible book Sacred Contracts.

There is the Wounded Child, the Orphan Child, the Magical/Innocent Child, the Nature Child, Puer/Puella Eternis (Eternal Boy/Girl), the Dependent Child and the Divine Child. 

After taking a class from Caroline Myss on Sacred Contracts as well as Medical Intuition, I taught this work for many years.  This information is a combination of information from her book and my interpretation and sharing.

The mature child archetype is the part of us that nurtures us and is lighthearted and innocent. The child watches for the wonders of the world, no matter what age we might be. It brings playfulness and balance to our lives and brings out the best in others.

The core issue of the Child archetype is dependency verses responsibility. It governs when we take responsibility, when we have a healthy dependency or interdependency, when to stand up to the group and when to embrace the community.

The Wounded Child Archetype remembers the abuse, neglect and traumas that were experienced in childhood. Since therapy has become more acceptable, many people identify with this archetype. It is the child that blames their parents for their lives, their choices, and the dysfunctional relationships they create. The positive side of the wounded child is they have the desire to help other wounded children and have a deep ability to be compassionate.

The shadow side of the wounded child is they blame others for their pain and get stuck in the past, not moving through the painful memories into present time.

The Orphan Child Archetype is well known in childhood stories. Orphan children do not feel they belong to their families. One of my favorite stories is the Ugly Duckling. I was so happy when I realized I was not a duck at all, but was a swan. I had often felt I was dropped out of the sky into this family and wondered, “who are these people?” Orphans who do not belong to the tribal spirit of the family often become independent early and feel like they raised themselves. As Caroline Myss says “The absence of family influences, attitudes, and traditions inspires or compels the Orphan Child to construct an inner reality based on personal judgment and experience.”

The shadow side of the Orphan is they suffer from feelings of abandonment. They often seek out surrogate families or support groups in which to connect. Creating and maintaining healthy relationships is often a challenge for the Orphan Child.

The Magical Child / Innocent Child archetype sees beauty in all things. They are able to maintain wisdom and courage when what is happening around them may be catastrophic. A good example is Anne Frank. When her family was hiding from Nazis, she was still able to believe that humanity was good.

The shadow side of the Magical Child leaves the person without a sense of possibility and a lack of transformation from evil to good. Pessimism and depression can surface, especially if the child had a dream that was discouraged by adults. Another shadow side is when the adult gets lost in fantasy and does not believe action and energy are required to obtain a result. They get lost in magical thinking.

The Nature Child Archetype manifests as a child who has a strong, intimate bond with the earth and with animals. They may show a tender, emotional side, but also can be tough and have great survival skills, “the resilience of Nature herself.” Often nature children can communicate with animals and these animals may even rescue the nature child in some way. Nature children also may have developed abilities to communicate with nature spirits and work with them to help the planet. Veterinarians and animal activists are often nature children. Today is Earth day and I imagine many of the activists connected with Earth Day are nature children.

“The shadow aspect of the Nature Child may manifest in a tendency to abuse animals and people and the environment.”

The Eternal Boy/Girl Archetype manifests as an ability to stay young in body, mind and spirit. These children continue to have fun and enjoy life even as they age. I imagine many who write books on anti-aging have this child archetype.

The shadow Eternal Child manifests and an inability to grow up and be responsible. They live outside the conventional norm of adulthood and remain child-like, not taking on the responsibilities of the adult. Some of my clients have referred to their husbands as being “another child to care for.” These men have the Eternal Child archetype. For a woman, the Eternal Child archetype can manifest as extreme dependence on those who take care of their physical security. The woman cannot be relied upon and does not accept the aging process. “The Eternal Child often flounders between the stages of life because they have not laid the foundation for a functioning adulthood.” 

The Dependent Child Archetype will appear needy and dependent and have a heavy feeling within that nothing is ever enough. They are always trying to replace emptiness from childhood, but they can never figure out what the emptiness is. They often suffer from depression, sometimes severe. If you identify with this archetype, you can use it to alert yourself to when you are becoming too needy and self-absorbed. Although this is my own thinking, I often refer to women who have this archetype in full activation as the female narcissist. Everything becomes about them and their needs.

The Divine Child Archetype (excerpted from Caroline Myss) is closely related to both the Innocent and Magical Child, but is distinguished from them by its redemptive mission. It is associated with innocence, purity, and redemption, god-like qualities that suggest that the Child enjoys a special union with the Divine itself. Few people are inclined to choose the Divine Child as their dominant Child archetype, however, because they have difficulty acknowledging that they could live continually in divine innocence. And yet, divinity is also a reference point of your inner spirit that you can turn to when you are in a conscious process of choice. You may also assume that anything divine cannot have a shadow aspect, but that’s not realistic. The shadow of this archetype manifests as an inability to defend itself against negative forces. Even the mythic gods and most spiritual masters — including Jesus, who is the template of the Divine Child for the Christian tradition — simultaneously expressed anger and divine strength when confronting those who claimed to represent heaven while manifesting injustice, arrogance, or other negative qualities (think of Jesus’ wrath at the money-changers in the Temple). Assess your involvement with this archetype by asking whether you see life through the eyes of a benevolent, trusting God/Goddess, or whether you tend to respond initially with fear of being hurt or with a desire to hurt others first.

I hope this is helpful for you. Use this to look at your relationships with others and see where you fit! Enjoy!

http://candesscampbell.com/blog/the-child-archetype

 


Finding an Athletic Trainer

Day Two

Searched Trainers today on the website of the gym I belong to. Saw one that looked like he would fit. His bio read Spine/back strengthening, weight loss, muscle gain, progressing and regressing exercises as needed. Each client’s program is individually goal specific. It also read Interests: Basketball and spending time with family and friends. Of course, I checked out his profile on FB and continued to get a good sense of him.

I called and made an appointment.

Oh, did I tell you that I am doing some online dating now? I look at my dating profile and the one thing about myself that I don’t like is – I had to mark “a few extra pounds.” I screen out men who are hunters and smokers. I am sure some men screen out women who carry extra weight.

I’m not going to get into the issue of how society sees women, judgment of men who won’t date fat women, etc. The issue really is I don’t see myself as a woman with extra pounds. My internal self is fit and healthy and loves to work out. Just need to get my outer self to match!

Iwannabeaskinnybitch!

 


Steps to Resolving Conflict

“Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them.” Blanche
“Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive.” Kate” 

Neil SimonBrighton Beach Memoirs

Recently at Interplayers Theatre, I saw the play Brighton Beach Memoirs by Neil Simon. It was an incredible performance that exemplified the topic at hand – conflict.

The story is about Eugene, an adolescent, Jewish boy in 1937. He recalls his memories of living with his parents, aunt, two female cousins, and his brother at a time when he was going through puberty, sexual fantasy, poverty, and living in a crowed home. In this play, Eugene Jerome, played by Nich Witham, gave an over-exaggerated sense (in a fantastic performance) of not being heard and doing what he could to find his place and get his needs met in this family.

Brighton Beach Memoirs

This play was a great backdrop for me to expound on how to resolve conflict and the pitfalls of communication. Here are some helpful steps.

Clear with this person on an energetic level.

1. Ground your energy. Here is a video that will teach you to do this. http://bit.ly/wBHJbh

2. You have an aura around you which is part of your energetic self.  Imagine pulling your aura in around your body. Pull it in about 6 – 8 inches around you.

3. Focus in your heart and bring your attention out of the top of your head into the heavens.

4. Image the person there with you. At this level, send them love from your heart. You may also imagine sending them golden white Light from your heart.

5. If you can do this without anger or negative feelings, talk with them at this level

6. Come back down, image yourself filling up with golden white Light and release any leftover energy down your grounding cord.

Steps to resolve conflict in person.

1. Write out the situation in your journal and then re-read it the next day. Sometimes it helps to do this a few times, so that you can become clear on what happened and what you want to communicate.

2. Become aware of your own part of the situation, even if you perceive it to be minor in comparison to the other person.

3. If you are angry, look at where you may be feeling hurt or fearful. These emotions are often right under the surface of anger. Feel your feelings and let them go. Journal them over and over if need be.

4. Contact the person you are having conflict with and use clear, direct, honest communication. I suggest you meet in person (not via text or email) because this allows you not only to read the body language, but also to open your heart.

5. Give the other person the chance to communicate their side completely. It is helpful to use the words, “I heard you say,” and repeat back to them what you heard and let them clarify. This helps them to feel heard. You can hear what someone is saying without agreeing with them. It is important that you hear.

6. Once the other person feels heard, share your side. They may not listen well and you may not feel heard. If that is the case use the broken record method. Continue to say the core message again and again, “I hear what you say, and ______.” Yes, that is true, and _______.” Do this until they are able to understand they are not hearing you.

7. Make a request of the person such as “My request is we put this behind us and go on from here,” or “My request is that we continue to meet and talk weekly until we can resolve this.” You can use whatever it is that you desire.

8. Trust your intuition, and use as many of these steps as you would like. If the person is not willing to meet with you or clear the situation with you, then move on and let it go. No longer allow them into your energy field and set healthy boundaries.  (I will share more about this in a future video and blog.)

Sometimes people have a hard time clearing conflict because of negative communication patterns.  Often these reactions were learned in early childhood as a survival response to a dysfunctional family. In this case they may triangle in other people to take sides, or become passive aggressive and rather than talking with you directly, they will be passive in their aggression in a subversive manner.

One of the books I recommend for healthy communication is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg

You can find other valuable information at http://candesscampbell.com/books/self-help-toolbox


7 Simple Steps to a Healthier Life!

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”
― Hippocrates
 

When you are in relationship you can either lift each other up, or pull each other down. Making a commitment to your own health is not only self-care, but is caring for your relationship. Now that you are in the middle of January, this can be a boost to stay on track with your goals.  This is a re-post of a blog from January 2012

This is conversation with Cheyenne Mendel, Licensed Acupuncturist, Executive and long time friend. 

cheyenne and candes whole foods

Candess: We are into the New Year and many people are making changes in their diet to increase their health. What are some of the most important changes you suggest can do for their health in the coming year?

Cheyenne: 

1. Drink good quality Water!

Chances are if you say, “I don’t like water,” you don’t have a good clean source. The very best investment you can make for your health “HANDS DOWN” is hydration. Your body cannot release toxins without it.

All organs need water. The lungs use one quart of water at sea level just to breathe. Your body need much more at higher elevations. When it is freezing you can see your breath. Some people don’t ever even drink that much. Some people say “I drink coffee…lots of water in that.” Have you ever tried washing your clothes or wiping your counters with coffee? You can also get water by eating water filled foods like raw fruits and vegetables.

2. Avoid the offenders! 

Avoid the foods that become “goo and glue” in your body. These are sugar, high fat, and refined carbs.

Anything in a box or with plastic on it has been processed in some way. I am currently in California and finally made it to the ever-famous Trader Joes. The problem with this store even though it is pretty cool, is that most of the vegetables are processed in some way. The vegetables are wrapped in petroleum based plastic materials.

Make sure you are not hungry when you shop because you will end up eating whatever you buy.  Whether you make a healthy or crappy lunch for work, when lunchtime rolls around you are hungry and you will eat whatever is there. When you eat healthy it is like giving your cells a high paying job vs. minimum wage or a slave labor job.

If eating healthy is too overwhelming then simply avoid the bad stuff. If that is too much, then start small. If you eat sugar all day long then start by avoiding sugar in the morning. Don’t destroy your whole day with an assault on your pancreas first thing in the morning. Avoid the offenders! Nature abhors a vacuum and the healthy food will creep in.

3. Consciously interact with Dr. Nature 20 min a day!

Dr. Nature has many curing aspects such as fresh air, sunshine, rest, movement/exercise or a combination of these. Try a walk and a quick catnap or a cat rest if you can’t do naps. Today people are so exhausted and over stimulated from technology that rest is a higher priority for a body. You know how to do this. Notice how your thinking and feeling changes as your begin to walk in nature.

4. Contribute to others!

Being an acupuncturist for two decades with 10,000 patient contacts, I can say the unhappiest people I encountered in my practice and in life were people that focused entirely on themselves. It is difficult, almost impossible to be happy when you are not healthy, but of being happy is contributing to another person in some way.

Take 10 -15 minutes a day to contribute to someone else. The opportunity or challenge I am offer is to do something that brings you joy.  Write and mail a card of appreciation, make someone’s bed, clean the employee break room for 10 minutes, pick up trash around your neighborhood, or bag your own groceries to help a busy clerk.  Sharing a kind word or listening deeply to someone can make you happy by giving.

There are stories about random acts of kindness like the story of people paying the lay away bills for people at K Mart. People who use lay-away are typically very poor or they would simply purchase the items in the first place. You can send a loving thought and prayer for a homeless person rather than sending out a thought like “get a job.”  (One I have been working on.)

5. Forgive others!

Forgiveness is for YOU and your freedom. If you are offended or “go to your bed in wrath” or are thinking about what so and so said or did to you, then you are sowing strong seeds of ill health. Try forgiving on a small scale and you will understand the truth of how forgiving contributes to your health. Ten minutes of prayer or mediation can really help in this area. 

6. Spend 15 min a day on your Essence Self!

Just like how you are instructed in an airplane, if there is a need, an oxygen mask will appear and you must put the oxygen mask on yourself first; it is important to care for yourself first. We all have family or friend situations that we respond to either in a positive or negative way.

It is important to take time to spend with your Essence Self and to put energy into your own “coffer” and not wait for someone else to fill you up.

In an emergency situation, I recently moved to California to manage one of my husband’s businesses. It is a small complex of studios which I am selling. The first 20 minutes in the unit I unplugged and removed the television. I have lived without a TV in my home for 20 years. My 18-year-old daughter has grown up without TV.

Instead of watching TV, I walk on the beach, read, write old fashioned cards, people watch, sit and zone out and have more time to make special “qi” (life force) filled meals for myself. I have more energy to pick out really healthy food and the list goes on and on. Spend 15 minutes a day with your Essence Self and see what you need to create and what you need to let go of this year.

Candess:  My thanks to Cheyenne for sharing this with us. She is most healthy and pure person I know and I love her continued support of mine and other’s physical, mental and spiritual health. She has contributed to tens of thousands of people in her lifetime!

7. Step 7 is for the reader. As you read this, there is something you know that you need to do that will be helpful to raise your level of health for the New Year!

 


Collapsed, Rigid and Healthy Boundaries

“No” is a complete sentence.”              ― Anne Lamott

Entering into the New Year, we find ourselves getting out more, getting fit, eating better, spending time with old friends, and meeting new friends.  Often though with amazing technology we also connect through our phones and computers, using social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter and dating sites.

In my mental health counseling office, recently a client shared with me she saw her boyfriend change his relationship status on Facebook from single to being in relationship with another woman.  A different client shared she couldn’t create a separate email from her husband because he checked her phone everyday to see who she texted and emailed.

A woman I know met a man on line and fell in love. They talked on the phone and Skyped for months and then he had a crisis and needed some financial support. She sent him money and didn’t hear from him again.

These situations lead me to reflect on the impact technology has on boundaries. It appears there is an intimacy created online that is not grounded in reality. Take this opportunity to assess your own boundaries.

Do you have rigid, collapsed or healthy boundaries?

Are you more likely to allow others to cross your boundaries or do you cross others boundaries?

Do you find you get too close to people physically and you see them back away?

Do you find yourself alone in a corner in a group and not reaching out to others?

Note that the way you set your boundaries changes over time. You also may behave differently depending on the situation and how you feel at the time. This is a general guideline you can use.

Collapsed Boundaries can be identified by: 

  • Sharing too much personal information too soon.
  • Saying yes when you want to say no for fear of rejection.
  • Doing anything to avoid conflict.
  • Having a high tolerance for abuse.

Rigid Boundaries can be identified by: 

  • Saying no to a request if it will involve close interaction.
  • Staying so busy you don’t take time for intimate relationships.
  • Being unable to identify you own feelings, wants or needs.
  • Making little self-disclosure and holding people at a distance.

Healthy Boundaries can be identified by:

  • Having the ability to say yes and to say no.
  • Being able to hear no from others and seek other resources to get your needs met.
  • You reveal information about yourself gradually and self-disclose appropriately.
  • You have relationships with shared responsibility for the relationship without blaming.

Check out the full Boundary Self-Assessment.