Manifesting and Resistance

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C. 

Soon after I chose my word for 2014 – Relationships – came the resistance. I am beginning to think that resistance may be the shadow side to most of what I want to manifest.

When I teach manifesting, I have my students or clients think about and write down specifically what they want to manifest. As soon as they do this, I encourage them to then write down all the thoughts of why they can’t have this. Now, this may appear counter-productive, but the reality is, these thoughts are going to either surface consciously or subconsciously and it is better to challenge them outright.

So I’ll use my word – relationships. I have made a decision to focus on relationships this year. The thoughts that surface are these:

  1. I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people.
  2. I will get hurt.
  3. People will want more of me than I can give.
  4. I’ll have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I’ll get exhausted.

Now, that I have identified the immediate concerns I have, I can challenge them.

  1. I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people.  – In this case, yes, I will do this. I have wanted to do this for a while and I can schedule my life with more play and less work and if I don’t resist this (stress and exhaustion) then I will really enjoy playing and being more present to friends and family.
  2. I will get hurt. – Just because I am spending more time in my relationships and possibly allowing an intimate relationship, I don’t have to get hurt. I can move slowly, set necessary boundaries until I am confident and feel safe. I have a lot of skills and can use them in relationship. (You will notice that my resistance here appears to come from a need to feel safe.)
  3. People will want more of me than I can give. – In this situation, the fear is not related to my friends and family, but more to other people. It will be necessary for me to be discerning of where I put my time and energy. It is not like a dam breaking. I can spend time with my friends and family without opening the floodgates to everyone. (overwhelm)
  4. I will have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I will become exhausted. – In this case, becoming present is actually a way of being less exhausted. There will be people around me that I don’t have to be continually present with. I can be present with myself and focus my attention where I would like. I am in control. (exhaustion)

I hope this example demonstrates the fears that come right behind your decision to manifest.  Now, you can be conscious of the fears and challenge them. The theme of this 30-day blog, is not just relationship to others, but relationship to yourself. You are in control of your life, your choices and your future!


Clearing the Past

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” 
 J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix  

Much of what I have taught over the years has been about manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, often you have to bring the past into present time to heal. What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present.  Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.

Living in the past can create depression. 

Living in the future can create anxiety.

2010-06-27 18 27 01When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One that I teach is to become aware of the memories and the wounds.  Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.

The ones you can identify is where to start. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA.  When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.

Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.

People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there things you do that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect.

Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.

You may have had desires, demands or expectations of someone. Then you find they didn’t either give you what you wanted or they behaved in ways that hurt you.

If this is so and is in the past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, it is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, they then have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.

If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one until it is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.

Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.

Clearing frees you to live in present time.


1-Grounding Your Energy and Manifesting Video

In this Energy Medicine DNA video you will learn a simple tool of grounding your energy. This will assist your body in feeling safe and also help you to manifest your creations.


Letting Intuition Unfold

This morning as I packed (on my way to Santa Clara for Experts’ Academy) I decided to take my favorite long sleeve t-shirt with Mount Fuji printed on it. The print is delicate and beautiful, in Japanese art style. This shirt is of my favorite purchases I bought in Kyoto a couple years ago when working in Japan. As I walked along the walkway in the Salt Lake City Airport, I saw a gigantic wall filled with a photo of Tokyo and featuring Mount Fuji. Strolling along, looking for the healthiest food I could find, I found a little seating area across from MachuWok and sat down to catch up on emails and FB posts. I saw a man across from me and was curious if he was Japanese or not. Then I heard him on his cell phone and my ears delighted in the familiar Japanese language I love, but do not speak.

Tokyo Temple

These three connections wet my appetite for something amazing and interesting to happen on this trip. I can’t remember a time when I traveled that I did not have an experience worth writing about and these associations have set me up to be even more aware. This is partial how intuition develops. We become aware of associations, what we think may be coincidences, and happenings that create patterns in our lives.

Now I know that this will be a great workshop with Brendon Burchard and mystery speakers, but now I have a heightened anticipation. I have an expectation of positive manifestations coming my way. I was told Deepak Chopra and Daniel Amen had been speakers in the past. I am excited to see what lay ahead.

I’ll keep in mind the Japanese influences and pay attention to what unfolds. I invite you to do that as well. Notice the connections, associations, patterns around you and watch with heightened anticipation for great things to unfold in your life! This is one process of increasing intuition and manifesting your desires!


Matching Energy

When I was taking classes in Meditation and Healing at the Church of the Divine Man many years ago, they taught about “matching” other people’s energy. An example is, if you are around someone who is angry, you may match him or her and become angry. When you are around someone peaceful, you can match him or her and become peaceful. I have been teaching this in my counseling practice for years and helped clients understand they can change how they feel by becoming aware and making choices.

I remember reading a study in one of my books (which I will find to update this blog) that had three plants. One plant was the control and the plant was watered without any variables. The second plant was watered with water where someone who was very happy and positive held the water for a period of time and the third plant was watered with water that was held for a period of time by someone who was clinically depressed. Of course, the result was the plant watered by the person who was happy grew the most; the control the second and the plant watered by the person who was depressed had stunted growth.

Physics has taught us that everything is energy, including humans, and it makes sense we affect each other in subtle and powerful ways.  When I feel blue, a little grumpy, I will put on a CD by someone like Wayne Dyer to raise my mood, to shift my energy. Conversely, when I binge on music from my childhood, such as listening to Sunday Morning Coming Down, I have to pick myself up off the floor!

What inspired me to write this blog is I have been promoting a program called Habit of Attraction developed by Robert Evans. I have put it on FB, Twitter, Launchpad, sent emails and have become excited and energized about this. This morning I thought I may have gone overboard with promotion and sat to figure out what it is about this that “hooks” me.

I became acquainted with Robert when I was in the Next Top Spiritual Author contest. In that program I set up my free membership website, which has become a success for my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: The Gift of Pain. Later, I took his Habit of Attraction course and exceeded my financial goal for the year. Currently, I am in the Write Your Mini-book in 7 Days Course and plan to launch my Less is More: Slowing Down in an Over-stimulating World book before the end of the year.

What happens is I get energized and match his energy when I am in programs with him. I see that his working with others who also are spreading messages of love, light, and abundance also energizes him.  In his programs, I have been honored to be on phone calls with people I admire like Neale Donald Walsh, the author of Conversations with God and with James Twyman who I admire for this work as a Peace Troubadour.

My focus in my work for years has been to empower others to access their Essence, to realize who they truly are and to manifest their dreams in their lives. This is the work I see Robert Evans doing and I am focused, energized, and motivated by his work. That’s my answer. That is why I am doing this promotion. Now, if you wonder, yes, I have connected with him in an affiliate program. This is one way I can stay connected to this powerful, manifesting energy.

Please take some time to think about who energizes you.

Who helps you become your better Self. Who leads the way and makes it easier for you to excel and manifest your dreams. Think about who it is that drains your energy and leaves you feeling bad about yourself. Sometimes we can’t change who we are around, but we can use those who are motivating and inspiring to bring us back into balance.