The Victim Archetype

“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind” 

 Caroline Myss

Yesterday I shared information about the Saboteur Archetype and asked you to journal about your own Saboteur. I committed to doing this myself to find out what was underneath my over-caffeinating behavior on the drive to Sisters, Oregon.

What an incredible experience it was. I sat at my friend Susie’s house overlooking the mountains and journaled. What I realized was I was actually stressed to make this long drive, but I wasn’t letting myself feel this. Instead of planning to care for myself on the drive, I just pushed through.

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The other issue was, as much as I was delighted to go to The Healer’s Gathering, I was hesitant to spend three days in a group of 100 people. Being extremely sensitive has been great for my work as a psychic medium, but it also makes some other situations challenging.

Moving to our Healer Archetype!

Moving to our Healer Archetype!

When I journaled, I realized that often in my life I have been over-stimulated in situations where others do just fine. For many years I didn’t understand that I was so sensitive and often my responses appeared to others that I was being a victim. Today I know that those of us who fit the category of Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) have to take care of ourselves and plan ahead. It has been nearly impossible for me to communicate so others understand the situation, and it just created conflict.

To all the other HSPs – You are not victims! Say yes to self-care! I’m listening to this too!

In another blog I will share more about Highly Sensitive Persons, but today I want to continue with Archetypes and share about the Victim Archetype.

This information comes from information from Caroline Myss’ work in her Sacred Contracts book and the classes I took from her on Medical Intuition and Sacred Contracts. I have also added information that I have gained from working as a mental health counselor and chemical dependency professional for over 20 years.

Remember that we all have 4 archetypes that we share. These are the Child, Victim, Saboteur and Prostitute.  The gift of the Victim Archetype is Self-Esteem. 

In the process of self-healing, you have to come to terms with your victim self and move beyond this state of being. You can identify your victim, confront the behavior, love and forgive yourself and bring your energy into present time. In fact, unless you can bring at least 80% of your energy into present time, you will not have the power to self-heal. What do I mean by bringing yourself into present time? Watch your thoughts. Do you go off to the future (which can create anxiety) or drift off to the past (which can cause depression) or are you able to be present in the moment?

Enjoy exploring this archetype that can bring you high self-esteem once you embrace this part of yourself and move on!

Victim Archetype

Guardian of Self Esteem

Core issue is whether it is worth giving up your own sense of empowerment to avoid taking responsibility for your independence.

When you don’t stand up for yourself after awhile you no longer can tell the difference whether you are being victimized or not; so either you are being victimized and don’t know it or you are not being victimized, but act as if you are.

  • The victim archetype helps you decide what you will or will not do; a guardian of personal boundaries.

  • Lessons associated with the victim archetype demand that you evaluate your relationship to power, especially with people with whom you have control issues and have to set boundaries.

  • Primary objective is to develop self-esteem and personal power.

  • You have contracts with people whose primary purpose is to help you develop yourself-esteem through acts of honesty, integrity, courage, endurance and self-respect.

  • The victim will entice you to feel sorry for yourself.

  • You can act like a victim and give in or call upon your companions and guides for help.

  • Like the lion in the Wizard of Oz, you need to have the courage to look at your victim and make it your ally.

  • Do you victimize yourself in the way you interpret conversations with other people?

  • Does your victim alert you to protect yourself rather than letting people take advantage of you?

  • Does your victim motivate you to be shrewd in the dealings of whatever house it is in?

  • Does your empowered victim allow you to take risks in your life?

  • The victim urges us to act appropriately when we are in danger of being victimized.

  • The victim can alert us to being victimized through passivity and rash or inappropriate actions.

  • It can also alert us to how we victimize others for personal gain.

  • In shadow it may show how we play victim for sympathy or pity.

Join with me in delving into this Victim Archetype in your journal!

 

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Listen before it’s too Late!

 

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. CoveyThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

 

It is an enlightening view, sitting in my chair in my office as a mental health counselor. I am honored to sit with clients as they share about their lives and their relationships and I see themes unfold.

We have ended the year and are into the New Year.  As I look ahead at new beginnings, it reminds me of one of the most common themes. When working with couples, I notice that, for most, by the time they enter my office, it’s too late.

couples

Too often one of them attempted continually to communicate with the other, without being heard. Sadly, I watch their last attempt to keep the marriage together. The partner, let’s say the man, who has not really heard, but has listened as if she was nagging or on a rampage over something, finally understands. It is too late now for him to realize that what she was saying was important. So important, that the marriage is now over. I see him groveling and trying to make sense of it all. In the safety of another person (me) she says, “I’m sorry, but it is just too late.”

Many of us have ended relationships before the New Year. I remember myself, many years ago, sitting outside Nordstroms, having coffee with my lover on December 29th. I said, “I am sorry, but it’s over.” This was difficult to say and it was painful. I had felt though, that what I said over and over, didn’t matter and I was “pushing the river,” in order to create a change for us. It didn’t work. Once I was honest and ended the relationship; although painful, it was also exhilarating.

When I am with clients and they are suffering over a relationship, I often ask, “when did you first know this was not the right situation for you?” More than I would like to hear, they say, “in the beginning.” If not, they knew years before they decided to make a change.

Whether it be a love relationship, a work relationship or a family situation, “when you begin to lose your voice, your self-esteem, your sense of personal power; it is time to make some kind of a shift.”