Posted: November 3, 2014
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Most people who know me say that I am calm. I think my tendency is to be able to see several sides of a situation and be to accepting. I have a good sense of taking responsibility for myself and looking at my side of a situation and how I have contributed to the problem.
I have been processing the last week. I found myself having generalized anger and I have been throwing it out in different arenas. I am not sure how to describe it, but in what I might call social or public arenas.
One was with Aweber, my email service. There was a long-standing problem that cost me upwards of a thousand dollars. The other was with Comcast where my telephone, television and Internet performed poorly this week.
No need to go into the details, but I have been “running anger” in my body for a few days and it has been extremely uncomfortable. This is unusual for me. What I have been doing is noticing the anger in my body and feeling the sensations. It has been important for me to be loving and nurturing to myself because anger can create some major issues given I have adrenal fatigue. It can really wipe me out.
With anger, I need to assess the situation and either make a change or accept the situation. With Aweber, I have decided to change to a new email marketing program, even though I may lose many of my contacts. With Comcast, I decided I will call them and discuss the situation (again) and see about resolving the issues, even though it takes a lot of my time.
In the process of these few days of “angering” though, I realized that I have eaten more sugar than usual and have also enjoyed wine as a way of taking the edge off.
Neither of these is the best solution. Hindsight tells me to journal before I reach for another solution!
Anger is a secondary emotion. It covers up pain and fear. I also have had a sense of wanting to cry, but not being able to and not knowing why. More will come in another blog . . . or as my late, former husband Peter Campbell used to say . . . “More will be revealed.”
Posted: September 16, 2014
“The human soul can always use a new tradition. Sometimes we require them.”
My experience in Sisters, Oregon and The Healer’s Gathering has been transformational. Those on the path to growth, healing and transformation often understand that it is our response (reaction) to our environment that fosters the growth. For me, I watch for the resistance.
My first experience of this resistance was at the opening ceremony here which was performed by “Tat” Erik Gonzalez, Shaman and creator of Earth People’s United. For some reason I felt a sense of irritation and was uncomfortable. It took me a day later to understand what was happening.
In my early 20’s I was married to a Native American spiritual leader, Peter Campbell. My young children (from a previous marriage) grew up going to Pow Wows. Later, after Peter and I dissolved our legal marriage, I lead Sacred Ceremonies and a Medicine Wheel retreat. I went on to work as a mental health counselor with local Native children at the Healing Lodge of the Seven Nations.
I felt so alone at the Opening Ceremony because what was happening in the here and now (Ceremony) was my experience 30 years ago. I felt out of sync. What was new for many was the past for me. More recently I have been working with a group of Ascended Masters called the Lords of Karma. The work I do is often remote where I connect with the Lords and with people all over the world and do healing work. I become a conduit if you will, or a prayerful presence. It is all vibration and has a different feel about it than the powerful vibration of the drum.
Later when I shared my angst with my dear friend Katie Cavanaugh, I instantly became clear. My creativity now is to connect this powerful Sky Energy and Beings with the Earth Energy. It is not one or the other, but both. The ancients of the Earth and the Ancients of the Sky are not separate. We are all one.
Having had this experience I felt the connection of the Sky and Earth come together and in my own life, they merged into a balance.
This may sound “out there” so to put it in more personal terms, it means to balance my life. I will continue to connect with clients and students all over the world through the Internet, phone, Skype, Google Hangout, and remotely. I will do my energetic clearing, healing and psychic work. I will also do the grounded ceremony practices in my life such as walking the Sacred Spokane River daily, communicating with plants and trees, and bringing nature into my home all year long.
What really happened in this Sacred Ceremony with “Tat” Erik Gonzalez is my perspective shifted a bit and the separation I experienced became a healing of “Oneness.”
Note: Later, I was blessed to be with Doug and Katie, “Tat” Erik Gonzalez and his lovely wife Heddi, and their beautiful daughter Sylvia, while Doug, Katie and Tat played mostly original music by my friend, and award winning Singer/Songwriter, Katie Cavanaugh!