“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
When talking about relationships, love is in the forefront. Close your eyes and focus in your heart and feel who it is that fills your heart. Allow memories and images to come up that fill you with love.
This is a practice that can increase your happiness, lighten your mood and shift your attitude. Isn’t it amazing how much we can shift what we are feeling through a simple image of those we love?
Today would be a good day to reach out to a loved one. You can make a call, text or email them, visit them or send them a gift. Our relationships are sacred and creating a memory with them can last forever.
When you cannot be with a loved one for some reason, you can also focus in your heart, bring your consciousness up out of the top of your head, up into the heavens. Imagine the person standing there with you and send love to the person through your heart. This can heal a wounded relationship and bring peace to one who is missing you. You may be surprised when they call you suddenly!
“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Soon after I chose my word for 2014 – Relationships – came the resistance. I am beginning to think that resistance may be the shadow side to most of what I want to manifest.
When I teach manifesting, I have my students or clients think about and write down specifically what they want to manifest. As soon as they do this, I encourage them to then write down all the thoughts of why they can’t have this. Now, this may appear counter-productive, but the reality is, these thoughts are going to either surface consciously or subconsciously and it is better to challenge them outright.
So I’ll use my word – relationships. I have made a decision to focus on relationships this year. The thoughts that surface are these:
- I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people.
- I will get hurt.
- People will want more of me than I can give.
- I’ll have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I’ll get exhausted.
Now, that I have identified the immediate concerns I have, I can challenge them.
- I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people. – In this case, yes, I will do this. I have wanted to do this for a while and I can schedule my life with more play and less work and if I don’t resist this (stress and exhaustion) then I will really enjoy playing and being more present to friends and family.
- I will get hurt. – Just because I am spending more time in my relationships and possibly allowing an intimate relationship, I don’t have to get hurt. I can move slowly, set necessary boundaries until I am confident and feel safe. I have a lot of skills and can use them in relationship. (You will notice that my resistance here appears to come from a need to feel safe.)
- People will want more of me than I can give. – In this situation, the fear is not related to my friends and family, but more to other people. It will be necessary for me to be discerning of where I put my time and energy. It is not like a dam breaking. I can spend time with my friends and family without opening the floodgates to everyone. (overwhelm)
- I will have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I will become exhausted. – In this case, becoming present is actually a way of being less exhausted. There will be people around me that I don’t have to be continually present with. I can be present with myself and focus my attention where I would like. I am in control. (exhaustion)
I hope this example demonstrates the fears that come right behind your decision to manifest. Now, you can be conscious of the fears and challenge them. The theme of this 30-day blog, is not just relationship to others, but relationship to yourself. You are in control of your life, your choices and your future!
Much of what I have taught over the years has been about manifesting and creating the life you want. In order to do this, often you have to bring the past into present time to heal. What I mean by this is that when you focus on the past and live in the past, your life is controlled by what you felt and thought in the past. What happens is you continue to feel those feelings in the present. Living in the past leaves no room for what you are experiencing in the present. Living in the past, having your thoughts and feelings consumed by the past, can also control your future. Your past becomes your future.
Living in the past can create depression.
Living in the future can create anxiety.
When I talk about healing the past, what I hear most is “how do I do that?” Well, there are many modalities for healing the past. One that I teach is to become aware of the memories and the wounds. Feel them and change your beliefs around them. Your feelings are a result of your beliefs. Often your beliefs flitter so quickly in your mind, you have difficulty noticing them, grabbing them and examining them.
The ones you can identify is where to start. In your journal, write out a list of people and situations where you have been hurt or angry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings as you remember. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
Look at where you may have contributed to the situation. Take inventory of your own actions. You can use the successful process from the Big Book of AA. When taking inventory, write out where you were selfish, self-centered, frightened, or to blame.
Now, you may not have had any responsibility in the situation, especially if you were a child. In that case, look at what was going on in the other person’s life at the time.
People do the best they can at the time. Sometimes their best is destructive and hurtful to others, but it still is the best they can do with the awareness, teachings and the consciousness they have at the time. Are there some things you would like to do that you don’t do? Are there things you do that you wish you didn’t? Have you behaved in the past in ways you would not behave today because you know better? No one is perfect.
Anger is a secondary emotion that covers up pain or fear.
You may have had desires, demands or expectations of someone. Then you find they didn’t either give you what you wanted or they behaved in ways that hurt you.
If this is so and is in the past, in order to heal yourself and move on, you can forgive them. If it is a present situation, then you can make choices on how you choose to handle the situation. If choose to continue to stay in a destructive situation, it is your choice. The responsibility then becomes yours. You cannot blame the other person when you choose to stay. What happens when you blame someone else is, they then have the power to change the situation and you become a victim. When you take responsibility for your choices, you remain empowered and in control of your life.
If you still have a lot of pain or anger about the situation, write out what happened to you. You can write it over and over until the “sting” or “charge” is gone. You may want to read it over and over to a safe, loved one until it is no longer controlling you. You can forgive and move on. This does not mean you agree with what happened, it just means it no longer controls you.
Only you have the ability to clear your past and live fully in present time, thus giving you the power to create the life you want to live.
Clearing frees you to live in present time.
As stated in the last blog, my word for 2014 is Relationships. This year, my commitment is to bring myself closer into relationship with those I love and care for. It also means becoming aware of the relationships that have been dysfunctional and stressful and if possible to ease out of these relationships, making more time to deepen my relationship with myself and with others.
Truly, I understand with relationships there are so many components. There is setting boundaries, compromise, compassion, clear communication, perspective and the list is nearly endless. In this 30 day Blog Challenge, I will share with you about my process (probably similar to yours,) in the area of relationships.
Hope you have chosen a word for this year as well. It can be one to focus upon to joyfully bring into your life or to focus upon and create a growth spurt. Music was an expansive word for me in 2013. I welcome Relationships in 2014, to challenge me to grow.
In a weekly phone meeting with my dearest friends, this last week we talked about the chapter Waste No Time in Sonia Choquette’s book Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose.
What I realized is I have been busier than I would have liked the last few years and I am like a mother bear protecting her cub around my time. She says if you “squander your time” basically you hold yourself back and others too!
I loved that she said, “do not waste other people’s time either. It is emotionally indulgent and disrespectful to break agreements, send mixed messages, arrive late for appointment (or miss them altogether), or be unaccountable.
Several years ago I took the Landmark Forum and Advanced Forum. There I learned how important it is to follow through when I give my word. It is about who I am and how others will see me and whether or not I gain respect and trust from others.
Now, I am not saying I don’t mess up at times. Occasionally, for some odd reason a client appointment disappears from my calendar and I end up unprepared as someone shows up or I call a client because they missed an appointment and I hadn’t recorded they had cancelled. When this happens, I grovel appropriately and do whatever I need to do to make it right with them.
My time is valuable and so is yours.
My tendency has been, like I said, to mother-bear around protection of my time. I feel my time is being imposed on when I end up on the phone trapped in a circular system pressing buttons to get to a live person when I encounter the occasional mishaps around computer glitches, insurance claims or an issue with godaddy.com. Even so, my new growth goal is when I do get the live voice, to be polite and try not to ruin their day.
Thanks for taking your precious time to read this blog. Next time I will talk about space!
Now it is time to play!
Time is the only equal opportunity employer there is.
When in sessions with clients, it is common they share memories and situations from the past. Memories from five, ten, twenty years ago surface as if they were happening right now. I see their feelings and physiology follow their story.
Healing the feelings from the past is important, but often there is the tendency to re-play the past and then the feelings don’t heal. The feelings deepen like water that flows to form a crevice in the sand.
What’s great is that you have control over what you think and this affects your feelings! It takes practice, but you can change this habit.
When you begin to re-play something from the past that is painful or negative. STOP. Think about what was positive about the person or experience. Write it down. This does not undo what you feel they did to you, but it does help free YOU from the past. You are in control!
Try writing about the situation from the outside looking in. Then write it again from the other person’s perspective. This can be amazing!
You have more direct control over changing your thinking than your feelings, so think yourself into feeling happy, joyful and alive!
Spring flowers can be dangerous to your pets. Mary Getten, an Animal Communicator http://marygetten.com/, shares some tips for you in keeping your pets safe.
Top 10 Plants Poisonous to Pets
Dr. Justine Lee, Associate Director of Veterinary Services, explains what plants could be a potential danger to your cat or dog. Every day, Pet Poison Helpline receives dozens of phone calls from dog owners and cat owners saying “My cat ate a lily!” or “My dog ate a plant. Is it poisonous?” Some of the most poisonous plants for dogs and cats are reviewed below. While there are thousands of species of plants and flowers, only a small percentage of plants are truly dangerous and poisonous to your pet. Make sure you know which plants are most deadly to avoid your dog or cat from getting into these poisonous flowers and poisonous plants!
There are two Crocus plants: one that blooms in the spring (Crocus species) and the other in the autumn (Colchicum autumnale). These spring plants are more common and are part of the Iridaceae family. These ingestions can cause general gastrointestinal upset including vomiting and diarrhea. These should not be mistaken for Autumn Crocus, part of the Liliaceae family, which contain colchicine. The Autumn Crocus is highly toxic and can cause severe vomiting, gastrointestinal bleeding, liver and kidney damage, and respiratory failure. If you’re not sure what plant it is, bring your pet to their veterinarian immediately for care. Signs may be seen immediately but can be delayed for days.
Tulips and Hyacinths
Tulips contain allergenic lactones while hyacinths contain similar alkaloids. The toxic principle of these plants is very concentrated in the bulbs (versus the leaf or flower), so make sure your dog isn’t digging up the bulbs in the garden. When the plant parts or bulbs are chewed or ingested, it can result in tissue irritation to the mouth and esophagus. Typical signs include profuse drooling, vomiting, or even diarrhea, depending on the amount consumed. There’s no specific antidote, but with supportive care from the veterinarian (including rinsing the mouth, anti-vomiting medication, and possible subcutaneous fluids), animals do quite well. With large ingestion of the bulb, more severe symptoms, such as an increase in heart rate and changes in respiration can be seen and should be treated by a veterinarian. These more severe signs seen in cattle or our overzealous, chow hound Labradors.
This is only a partial list of poisonous plants. For a more complete list of plants poisonous to cats and dogs, visit our Poison List.
If you suspect your pet has ingested any of these items or any other questionable substance, call Pet Poison Helpline or your veterinarian for assistance. Accurate and timely identification of the suspected substance is very important. Having the container, package, or label in hand will save valuable time and may save the life of your pet.