January 14, 2014
“Happiness [is] Only Real When Shared”
Are you a couple that would like to increase the success of your relationship?
With my word for the year being Relationships, it is apropos for me to share this incredible program by my friend and colleague, Valerie Lipstein.
Having counseled couples for many years, I see this is exactly what I was looking for to support my clients.
You will intuitively know if this is right for you!
The statistics on first marriages ending in the US is very telling…..50% end in divorce. Yet it’s worse for second and third marriages (67% and 72% respectively!)
It’s obvious that people are challenged in relationships and often feel alone and unsupported (This applies to those who are unmarried as well).
What about the other 50% of the couples who stay in first time marriages? Some people who stay in unhappy, unfulfilling relationships do it for the children or for security or a number of others reasons.
Valerie Lipstein, the CEO of Inspired Living Now, a coaching and consulting business is committed to supporting couples thrive personally and professionally.
She knows firsthand how horrible this feels and how it impacts everything in your life when your relationship is rocky. She and her husband of 33 years have experienced difficult times and almost “gave up” until they made a commitment to live and love courageously.
They have created the Courageous Loving Program to support couples and incorporates what they did in their own marriage and many other practical strategies with proven results. Valerie’s husband, Michael, is a psychotherapist specializing in working with couples. Their approach combines proven methods from counseling and coaching modalities.
Check it out and let me know what you think!
As we think about New Year’s Resolutions, it seems to me in order to end the year with the desires we chart at the beginning of the year, we need to change our beliefs. Valerie Lipstein, a Results Specialist, Certified Coach and Consultant has agreed to share with us about changing Beliefs!
Valerie, there are so many people today who are hoping to make changes in their lives by changing their beliefs. I understand you teach about changing beliefs. What do you teach?
I love this topic and believe it’s one of the biggest stumbling blocks to our success. Our beliefs are so powerful and they affect around 80% of our behavior and the results we get. In fact, the Law of Cause and Effect says that our results are reflective of our thinking yet many still believe that their results are the cause of some outside force or circumstance. It is true that many people want to make changes, however without knowing about and learning how to re-program the subconscious mind imprinting it with what they really desire, most people do not change. They become frustrated and look at outside circumstances as the culprit.
You must understand the concepts first and then have strategies and practices to shift outdated, ineffective and destructive paradigms. Thinking authentically and asking empowering questions are two powerful strategies. Most people think shallow thoughts and their results in life are reflective of this.
Situations occur all the time. We often label them “good” or “bad.” We are unhappy when things seem bad yet once we get in harmony with the immutable laws of the universe we realize that situations are really neutral. It’s our surface mind that attaches the labels which can keep us in our prisons; all the while we only need to push the door open and walk outside.
We look at our beliefs and challenge the dis-empowering ones. We really live in an abundant universe. To know this truth and live from it is very powerful and will create success. It is a practice and takes discipline. There is not a lack of resources on this planet, yet there are millions who live in poverty; all the while abundance exists. The problem is with distribution, awareness, and perhaps greed.
In The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles speaks about this being the hardest work we ever can do, “To think what you want to think is to think TRUTH regardless of appearances….To think according to appearances is easy; to think truth regardless of appearances is laborious and requires the expenditure of more power than any other work man is called upon to perform.”
My mentor, Mary Morrissey, says that “we don’t deny the facts; we deny the facts to control us.” When we allow the outside circumstances to control how we feel and act we are dis-empowered.
Many people do not have a direction for their lives, living by default doing what they have always done yet not really thriving. It’s like sleep walking through life. I experienced this for almost a decade until my wake-up call.
I support people to get a crystal clear vision of the life they would love to live and support them to get their results. Success starts with a strong desire for something. We look at longings and discontent and start there as these are powerful signals that a person is out of alignment with their true nature. We look at 5 domains: Financial well-being, spirituality, relationships, career/creativity and health/well-being.
What are the most important behaviors to assure that changing one’s beliefs can impact their lives on a daily basis?
- Foremost, pay attention to what you are paying attention to. Our subconscious mind reads our attention as our intention. We will create our results from this mode.
- Be in a structure of support, it is very difficult to do this work without support. Mastermind groups, mentoring, being around people of increase awareness
- Study daily and be a life long learner-successful people are open and receptive to new ideas and are willing to challenge themselves
- Practice Gratitude-gratitude is at the heart of successful people’s lives. This is not kindergarten gratitude for things we have or when things are good. This is gratitude in all situations, which is transforming
- Have a daily practice to quiet the mind-Intuition can only be accessed when we are open and receptive.
What is the belief you changed that had the biggest impact in your life?
I was living my life by default in 2005 and felt stuck. On the one hand I had been studying spiritual and personal growth principles and had made some advancement. Yet, I did not fully grasp the concept of how powerful our habitual thinking can be. I was working as a Social Worker at a state agency, making good money with great medical benefits. I looked successful and felt horrible. I was living for Fridays and dreading Mondays. Being raised in a family where safety and security were valued over passion and creativity, I adopted this belief. My parents were products of the depression. You stay at your job even if you don’t like it because you get that weekly paycheck. My rationale mind didn’t agree, yet my subconscious mind ruled. The belief was affecting my whole life, yet I didn’t know it. All I knew was that I was unhappy and felt STUCK. I had lost my passion for social work yet I had excuses and rationalizations for staying.
Bob Proctor said, “You can’t get out of a prison unless you know you are in one.” It took a life changing phone call to snap me out of my prison. My best friend I had known since I was 17 died suddenly, she was only 52. Susan was living from her passion, however, when she died. I had a choice; I knew intuitively I had to take it or I would continue to live in my prison. My prison was my thinking. Once I changed my thinking, realizing that I could create a life I loved and did not have to “settle”, my whole world changed. Now I do work that I love, making a difference in the world by supporting others to live from their passion. Most days I wake up and can honestly say, “I really love my life.” What a gift! I am so grateful for the opportunity I was given to begin again.
What services do you have available to assist others in this important practice?
I offer individual and group coaching programs. They include Think & Grow Rich Masterminds, The DreamBuilder™, Working with the Law™ and Into Your Genius™. Additional services include quarterly seminars and motivational speaking.
You can reach Valerie at