“What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.”
My senses are heightened on my early morning walk with the mist of the summer storm hanging in the trees! I plugged in my headphones and listened to Caroline Myss’s CD on the Sixth Chakra in preparation for a class I am teaching this evening on Journaling. We are focusing on the Sixth Chakra– the Power of Insight.
The sixth chakra emphasizes wisdom and as I walked I began to inventory what gets in the way of my health and weight loss. I have known for a long time it has to do with stress, but today I became clearer on the stress. It’s not so much what I do, but what I think about what I do. I have shared before I love my career and that I enjoy the creative freedom I have.
What I notice though, is that I have an automatic resistance pulling at me as my creativity soars. For instance, rigidity takes over if I am on a roll finishing up my latest book and a neighbor knocks on the door and wants to talk. My whole body tightens up and I have a difficult time changing gears.
As I walked in the door after this misty walk with Caroline teaching me along the way, I realized how a simple gesture, comment or just being attentive can elevate someone else’s day.
Today I am going to focus on being resilient and not resistive. My heart and mind will open to whatever presents itself and I can take the few minutes to redirect my attention. This is the wisdom of the sixth chakra!
Thought I would go to the gym today, but didn’t. I am doing a Chinese herb cleanse and just realized that is why I don’t feel very well. OMG! I am de-toxing. I bought a set of six acupuncture sessions through Groupon with Dr. Song and I love acupuncture! I used to have it on a regular basis when my BFF Cheyenne lived in Spokane. Along with the acupuncture, I am taking the herbs. I am committed to increasing my health! I will adjust the amount of tea I drink each day so I can function better. Ugh!
Resting, enjoying Domingo and watching movies. It’s 100 degrees outside!
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.”
― Robert Fripp
Decided to lighten up today in the conversation about relationships. Last night I attended the Spokane Songwriter’s Open Mic. One of the ways I nurture myself is by listening to music and especially local musicians.
We all have our tribes, our people, those we feel most comfortable with. For me it has been my musician friends.
I’m delighted to share with you The Brad Keeler Trio; Brad Keeler, Jim Pittman and Linda Parman. The song Front Porch Swing was written by Brad Keeler.
“They danced slow circles in the sand, Javier singing the words to the Spanish version of the song, the melancholy music putting a strange ache in his chest, an ache he saw reflected in her eyes. Was she feeling what he was feeling?”
― Pamela Clare, First Strike
In Spokane, it is warmer down by the river and it was a beautiful morning for a walk. A group of us gathered to explore People’s Park and then meet at the Elk for lunch and conversation.
Most of us are single and so we had a fun discussion about relationships. Organically, the conversation drifted toward former relationships, dating and intimacy. It makes sense that how one behaves on a first date depends on values, religion, feeling safe, past behavior and I am sure a boatload of other reasons. Note to self – boatload – great Scrabble word.
Keeping with the theme of relationships, after we shared what we enjoyed about past relationships and what we wanted to create in the future, I created some questions to ponder.
- If you meet someone and there is strong physical attraction, do you kiss on the first date?
- How long do you need to know someone before you become sexually active?
- How many dates before you become exclusive?
- Once you are exclusive, is it okay for him/her to stay friends his/her ex?
- What do you do to scratch the surface and see what he/she is really made of?
- What do you do when he/she says they love you on the first date?
- When you first meet, do you believe what he/she tell you or do you wait to meet his/her friends or family?
- How do you tell him/her you are not interested, without hurting his/her feelings?
What are your beliefs about first dates and relationships?
When you hear the words intuitive healing, what comes to mind? Many people are searching today for information, healing, and guidance. Although I am an intuitive healer and reader, my focus is empowering others to use their own intuitive abilities.
Intuitive healing can happen on many levels. You can receive a healing on a spiritual, mental, emotional or physical level. These levels are all related, but illness begins in the etheric field (the energetic field around the body) before it happens on the physical level. Therefore it is important to take steps to heal on all levels.
Intuitive healing has a deep connection to the heart. You have a gentle, loving voice inside that guides you. This voice is a quiet voice and does not fight with or try to overcome the voice of the ego or the other voices within. Often we carry within a voice of a parent or authority figure. In psychology this is called an interject. It is important to discern between the voice that is coming from your intuition and the others.
Some refer to this inner voice as their Higher Self, their Guardian Angel, their Internal Coach or many other names. Whatever you call it is fine. Just know you are a reflection of the Divine and this voice is your connection to your own Divine Light. This Intuitive Voice is quiet and it guides you in many ways. It can also work with your intellectual or analytic mind when you are able to calm the constant mind chatter. The Intuitive Voice has access to Oneness and when you learn to hear and understand, you will begin to feel peace.
There are several ways to begin to hear your Intuitive Voice and to heal yourself on many levels.
Step 1. Be Still
Take time several times a day to stop and close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Scan your body from the top of your head down to your toes and just notice. Pay attention to any sensations and just notice. Be present in your body. Your body feels safe and you heal when you are consciously present in your body.
You have a natural ability to heal and come into balance when you allow yourself to fall into trance. Just as when you dream, you have “ultradian rhythms” while you are awake. You may notice yourself falling into trance when you are at a stop sign or when you are washing dishes. This daydreaming or spacing out regulates your mind and body and allows you to access your Intuitive Voice without effort. Honor the natural rhythm of your body. This is a vital part of self-healing.
Step 3. Notice Your Beliefs and Self-talk
Your beliefs are attitudes, viewpoints, ideas, thoughts, values, perceptions and more. They are not the truth, but how you organize your view to make sense of the world and give it meaning. Notice your beliefs and what beliefs hold you back from having your desired life. Notice your self-talk. When your self-talk and beliefs are negative your whole mind/body/spirit responds with a loss of energy and you attract to yourself negative life experiences. You can increase positive beliefs and self-talk and allow yourself to be more open to hearing your Intuitive Voice and receiving healing on all levels.
Step 4. Listen with Your Body
Your body is an incredible intuitive receiver. In order to heal fully and receive intuitive messages, you need to be awareness of and listen to your. Your intuition can come through images, dreams, sounds, gut feelings, a sense of knowing, hearing or sensing. In the beginning, it is common to receive messages through your gut feeling. Once this happens ask yourself “what does this mean?” You may or may not get an answer, but it is important to use your gut as a tool. If you begin to do something and your gut alerts you, know it has to do with what you were doing or thinking. Last week I was going to go downtown Spokane and have dinner, a movie and listen to a friend play music. As I began to get ready I felt a sense of alertness and I heard a voice inside my head saying the word “alarm!” I had no idea what was happening, but the sense of alarm would not stop. Having had many experiences with my intuition, I knew to listen. I made the decision to stay home that night and the alarm ceased. Now, I could try to guess at what might have happened, but instead, I just affirmed myself for listening and went on. The more you listen to your Intuitive Voice, the more it shows up for you and the easier it is to hear.
Step 5: Access Your Self-Healing Energy
We all have subtle energy around us and we can use this energy to heal. Have you ever stubbed your toe and noticed when you put your hand on your toe it felt better. When you have been in pain has the healing touch of a loved one made a difference. You have this natural healing energy within you and you are a powerful healer. Tap into your body’s subtle energy and feel the energy in your hands when you put them on a loved one. You are surrounded by a colorful energy field that comes from the chakras in the center of your body. Take a moment to rub your hands together and then put them together palm to palm. Pull them away from each other gently and feel the powerful energy you have in your hands. This is your healing energy. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes.
The best ways to access your intuition are through Meditation and through Viewing. With meditation you are able to quiet your mind and allow your Intuitive Voice to come through. This can happen either during the meditation or you can journal for a few minutes afterward and just let your intuition come through. Another way is to View. Viewing can be by being in your heart or the center of your head and imaging a white screen. On the screen allow yourself to see images and when they appear you can ask what they mean and just receive. You can also use Remote Viewing where you close your eyes and you can move through time and space. You can go into the past, the present or into the future. With remote viewing you can see someone at a great distance. This is often used by medical intuitives to help diagnose illness.
Step 7: Listen to Your Dreams
Your dreams are the place of Intuition. You receive symbolic images, messages and gain ideas and receive answers to your questions. You have access to the whole collective unconscious. Whether you remember them or not, you have between seven to nine dreams per night. This is during the REM state, where you have access to information and healing you cannot access in the daytime. Your dreams are a way that your Intuitive Self communicates with you! When you begin to honor your dreams and listen, they will show up for you more fully and guide you. There are many guides to dream work, and what I recommend is Realities of the Dreaming Mind by Sivananda Swami Radha (2004). It is helpful to have paper and pen by your bed to collect your dreams as soon as you awake. They tend to fly away until you train yourself to catch them.
These seven steps can help you to be guided by your Intuitive Voice and create healing on all levels of your being. You cannot increase your intuition with your mind, but can access it through your heart. You must allow it to happen through ongoing gentle practice. Use the tools daily and validate your experience of Intuitive Healing.
I am honored and delighted to share this interview with Susie Leonard Weller. She shared with me that children mirror their parent’s brain. I am really curious about this.
Susie teaches Life Skills classes through the Institute for Extended Learning, Adult Basic Education program in Spokane, Washington. She received training through Herrmann International in North Carolina. They studied brain research for over 30 years to improve results at Fortune 500 companies. Susie has applied this research to strengthen family relationships. She is now a Certified Thinking Consultant and her book is Why Don’t You Understand? Improve Family Communication with the 4 Thinking Styles
Susie, I am really curious. What is whole brain thinking?
Susie: Thinking styles are innate preferences for how the brain gathers and processes information in distinct ways. It’s part of who we are. Just like we have a preferred hand to write with, we also have a preferred thinking style. We use our dominant hand more often because it’s easier. In a similar way, our brain requires less effort to talk with someone who shares the same thinking style.
Some people are more left-brained and make logical decisions with their head. Others are more right-brained and make relational decisions with their heart or gut instinct. A whole-brained approach integrates both of the left and the right-brain hemispheres, as well as our intellect and heart.
- No two people are alike. Our brains are wired differently, right from the start.
- Most family squabbles are linked to biological differences in how we think.
- The brain requires 100% more energy to think and communicate in its opposite style.
What styles are there?
Susie: There are four main thinking styles. Imagine the brain as a four-room house. The two upstairs rooms concentrate on problem solving or seeking new solutions. These are called the Logical and Creative thinking styles. The two downstairs rooms focus on handling everyday realities and maintaining relationships. These are called the Practical and Relational thinking styles. Although we might prefer spending more time in some rooms than others, those using a whole-brain approach can access necessary skills from any of these rooms whenever they are needed.
Here’s a brief summary of all four thinking styles:
Focuses on facts
Clarifies the bottom line
Likes to figure out how things work
Focuses on thinking outside the box
Is imaginative and playful
Like to be spontaneous
Focuses on follow through
Likes to plan ahead
Focuses on feelings
Is friendly and supportive
Likes meaningful conversations
How is it that children mirror their parent’s brain?
Susie: Babies are born with “mirror neurons.” They copy everything they see. An infant’s brain is like wet concrete. The earliest impressions make the deepest impact. Experience shapes their brain—both positively and negatively. Repeated patterns become hardwired as established neural pathways. Children “download” their parents’ beliefs and behaviors to survive. By the time children are three years old, about 85% of their brain is already wired with subconscious programming for how to relate to others.
What is the best way to deal with conflict?
Susie: Conflict is a given—even within healthy relationships. The best way to handle conflicts is learning how to respect and leverage our differences. Rather than polarizing people into extreme positions, try to hear the need underlying and fueling their behavior. Learn to speak in ways others understand instead of more “loudly” in your preferred style.
Each thinking style has strengths and challenges. Learn to see them as complementary rather than sources of irritation. For example, when Logicals only focus on the facts and minimize the role of emotions, Relationals feel discounted. And, Relationals need to develop a firm backbone as well as their heart. Likewise, Creatives and Practicals can antagonize each other by refusing to accept each other’s desire to explore options or to make timely decisions.
Opposite styles are like oil and vinegar. They don’t mix easily, but they add great zest to a salad. Rather than take conflicts personally, practice becoming multi-lingual and speak in all four thinking styles whenever needed.
The key to managing conflict is finding win/win solutions to meet each others’ needs. Families are 24/7 learning labs to develop life skills—particularly how to communicate with those who think differently than we do.
How can we best set limits?
Susie: In a half-brained world, discipline styles swing from one extreme to another. But, whole-brained parents know how to balance nurture with structure, as well as to play and problem solve. First, they acknowledge the feelings; then they set an appropriate limit. Adults set clear boundaries and follow through on consequences. Wise parents know when to take charge and when to follow the child’s lead to meet their needs for connection.
What could we do to be a wise parent or a wise communicator?
Susie: Under stress, our brain regresses to a more rigid style. To avoid melt downs, learn to practice the Four C’s of courageous conversations. They will soothe the emotional brain to shift gears more easily to use all four thinking styles as needed.
Logical: Clarify a common goal and code of conduct.
Relational: Care enough to seek understanding (not to prove you’re right) and protect the safety zone so that no one shuts down or becomes aggressive.
Creative: Cultivate choices of both/and rather than either/or positions.
Practical: Commit to practicing mutual respect on a regular basis and express at least five positive comments for every negative one. In my book, I also describe the NARN (Notice, Accept, Reflect & Nurture) Process for shifting the brain to a higher gear when triggered:
1. NOTICE what’s happening—physical, emotional and mental warning signals
2. ACCEPT and work with what is, rather than deny or dismiss it.
3. REFLECT on other possible options to resolve this situation or find ways to re-frame it.
4. NURTURE yourself by choosing a concrete action to calm yourself within this moment—breathe deeply, take a break, stretch, listen to music or hum a song.
In our half brain world, more whole-brain families are needed. Our children will face increasing complexities and challenges. As Albert Einstein said, “The problems we are causing can’t be resolved in the same state of consciousness in which we created them.” Our future depends on our ability to use our whole, creative brain to discover new ways to respect how we think, communicate, relate, play and even pray together.
Thank you Susie. This is a good beginning. How can readers get more information?
You can download FREE excerpts from my book by visiting my website: www.susieweller.com
In addition, for those who contact me, I’ll send a FREE 13-page report with 30 tips for how to calm yourself in stressful moments. They are organized by each thinking style to soothe you from head to toe.
Susie Leonard Weller, M.A. for personal coaching
Call USA (509) 255-6676
Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.susieweller.com