If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.
Into the third month of my health plan, I’m getting to a place of complacency. What is showing up is the problem underneath . . . which for me has been stress.
My stress as I have shared, comes from doing too much. I won’t go into all that I do. Many of us do too much!
What I will say though is I notice when I over-function, I experience stress. Because I love what I do, I often don’t take the necessary time to rest. Stress is stress! Whether you are having fun or in chaos, it is still stress.
I am happy that I have lost some weight, feel better in my clothes, get compliments, but mostly, I am happy that I feel like I am in control of my life.
My focus for the next few days is to be conscious of what I am doing. Is it necessary? Fun? Relaxing?
This morning I awoke and lie in bed next to Domingo and read Scandalous Housewives: Mumbai on my Kindle. Now, that was relaxing. I enjoyed the comfort of my bed, seeing the tops of the trees and the sky out the window and having a fresh cup of coffee as I lost myself in the lives of these Indian women.
For me what has been under my weight gain has been stress.
Other reasons we may gain weight:
Living in the past
Lack of planning around food
Underlying health issues
Lack of education
There are so many more.
Hope you are using your journal to connect more deeply with yourSelf in your own process toward better health.
Some sentence stems to play with . . .
If you have not used the Sentence Stems yet, you can find how to do this here!
I become stressed when . . .
I unwind best by . . .
If I nurtured myself I would . . .
“She also realized that there must be something to this tapping since today was the first day in a long time that she felt hopeful and flooded with new ideas. “With love, light, laughter, and with ease.”
Drove home from the Healer’s Gathering in Sisters, Oregon all day on Friday. I was delighted to stay with my dear friend and mentor (and the facilitator of The Healer’s Gathering, Katie Cavanaugh!) Saturday I awoke with either the flu or a deep cleanse. Not going into details, but today I am feeling mostly better and back to work and back to blogging!
My first client this morning suffers from depression and we have been working together for awhile now. I taught him the Emotional Freedom Technique, but he has not done it on his own so I modeled it with and for him using a video.
I started using EFT myself, also known as “Tapping” when I decided I wanted to lose weight. It is a great technique. I used the book The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More by Jessica Ortner
Whatever your issue, you can use this too. Since I am not feeling well, I used the beginning sentence, “Even though my body aches, I deeply love and accept myself.”
Good news about my trip. I am within a pound of what I weighed when I left!
“A sad feeling can last a few minutes, and then you return to joy once you feel the pure feeling and let it go. Much as you would flex a muscle and let it go, you can feel the feeling and just let it go.”
– Candess M. Campbell – 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine
I sat with a client recently who’s working on developing a practice of journaling in order to deepen her relationship with herself. She laughs when she is saying something painful and tends to be disconnected from her feelings. She seems to be incongruent. I’ve given her some sentence stems to use. Sentence stems are beginnings of sentences to use to begin a free-writing session. I create these sentence stems specific to the issues that have been buried. This particular client uses alcohol, shopping, and staying busy as a way of not getting connected to herself; not becoming self-aware.
I’ve journaled over 30 years of my life and it has been an incredible experience of growth, insight, creativity and humor. You would be surprised at what surfaces in a 20-minute timed writing.
In the process of working with a Sentence Stem, you set the timer for 20 minutes, or 10 if 20 seems to long to start with. You use a fast writing pen and keep writing. Whatever comes to your mind you write, even if you have several lines of “I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to say.” Generally, you will start by being chatty, then go into resistance, “I don’t know what to say” or “I don’t like this,” and then you deepen into the underlying issue. You may notice that you touch on something and then change to writing your grocery list, but at least you know where to return to access the underlying issue or feelings.
Often when we overeat or over drink, or eat at the wrong time, we are covering up feelings. If not feelings directly, we may be over-consuming to manage the stress from all the activity we do to bury the feelings.
In my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine, I write a whole chapter entitled Feel your Feelings.
Today, before you make a choice to eat or drink something you know is not healthy, give yourself 20 minutes to journal first. Notice how you feel afterwards and see if it changes your need for the food or drink.
Here are a few sentence stems to start with.
If I listened to my body, I would . . .
What I desire most in my life is . . .
If I were fit/healthy, I would . . .
Comment below and let me know how you did!
“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Soon after I chose my word for 2014 – Relationships – came the resistance. I am beginning to think that resistance may be the shadow side to most of what I want to manifest.
When I teach manifesting, I have my students or clients think about and write down specifically what they want to manifest. As soon as they do this, I encourage them to then write down all the thoughts of why they can’t have this. Now, this may appear counter-productive, but the reality is, these thoughts are going to either surface consciously or subconsciously and it is better to challenge them outright.
So I’ll use my word – relationships. I have made a decision to focus on relationships this year. The thoughts that surface are these:
- I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people.
- I will get hurt.
- People will want more of me than I can give.
- I’ll have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I’ll get exhausted.
Now, that I have identified the immediate concerns I have, I can challenge them.
- I’ll have to slow down and make time for other people. – In this case, yes, I will do this. I have wanted to do this for a while and I can schedule my life with more play and less work and if I don’t resist this (stress and exhaustion) then I will really enjoy playing and being more present to friends and family.
- I will get hurt. – Just because I am spending more time in my relationships and possibly allowing an intimate relationship, I don’t have to get hurt. I can move slowly, set necessary boundaries until I am confident and feel safe. I have a lot of skills and can use them in relationship. (You will notice that my resistance here appears to come from a need to feel safe.)
- People will want more of me than I can give. – In this situation, the fear is not related to my friends and family, but more to other people. It will be necessary for me to be discerning of where I put my time and energy. It is not like a dam breaking. I can spend time with my friends and family without opening the floodgates to everyone. (overwhelm)
- I will have to be present to everyone who comes into my life and I will become exhausted. – In this case, becoming present is actually a way of being less exhausted. There will be people around me that I don’t have to be continually present with. I can be present with myself and focus my attention where I would like. I am in control. (exhaustion)
I hope this example demonstrates the fears that come right behind your decision to manifest. Now, you can be conscious of the fears and challenge them. The theme of this 30-day blog, is not just relationship to others, but relationship to yourself. You are in control of your life, your choices and your future!
As stated in the last blog, my word for 2014 is Relationships. This year, my commitment is to bring myself closer into relationship with those I love and care for. It also means becoming aware of the relationships that have been dysfunctional and stressful and if possible to ease out of these relationships, making more time to deepen my relationship with myself and with others.
Truly, I understand with relationships there are so many components. There is setting boundaries, compromise, compassion, clear communication, perspective and the list is nearly endless. In this 30 day Blog Challenge, I will share with you about my process (probably similar to yours,) in the area of relationships.
Hope you have chosen a word for this year as well. It can be one to focus upon to joyfully bring into your life or to focus upon and create a growth spurt. Music was an expansive word for me in 2013. I welcome Relationships in 2014, to challenge me to grow.