The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Most people who know me say that I am calm. I think my tendency is to be able to see several sides of a situation and be to accepting. I have a good sense of taking responsibility for myself and looking at my side of a situation and how I have contributed to the problem.
I have been processing the last week. I found myself having generalized anger and I have been throwing it out in different arenas. I am not sure how to describe it, but in what I might call social or public arenas.
One was with Aweber, my email service. There was a long-standing problem that cost me upwards of a thousand dollars. The other was with Comcast where my telephone, television and Internet performed poorly this week.
No need to go into the details, but I have been “running anger” in my body for a few days and it has been extremely uncomfortable. This is unusual for me. What I have been doing is noticing the anger in my body and feeling the sensations. It has been important for me to be loving and nurturing to myself because anger can create some major issues given I have adrenal fatigue. It can really wipe me out.
With anger, I need to assess the situation and either make a change or accept the situation. With Aweber, I have decided to change to a new email marketing program, even though I may lose many of my contacts. With Comcast, I decided I will call them and discuss the situation (again) and see about resolving the issues, even though it takes a lot of my time.
In the process of these few days of “angering” though, I realized that I have eaten more sugar than usual and have also enjoyed wine as a way of taking the edge off.
Neither of these is the best solution. Hindsight tells me to journal before I reach for another solution!
Anger is a secondary emotion. It covers up pain and fear. I also have had a sense of wanting to cry, but not being able to and not knowing why. More will come in another blog . . . or as my late, former husband Peter Campbell used to say . . . “More will be revealed.”
“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”
― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
November 1843, Hans Christian Andersen’s story, The Ugly Duckling was published in Copenhagen, Denmark. This amazing fairy tale has been read and re-read by adults and children alike, all over the world.
The story, as you probably know, is about a baby bird raised by a mother duck in a flock of other ducklings. The bird was teased and bullied unmercifully throughout his life, because he looked different and behaved differently. As an adult, the bird sought out and joined a flock of swans finding them to be beautiful birds. Although he expected the same abuse, the swans were open to his joining with them and they accept him. One day this ugly duck saw his reflection in the water and realized he was not an ugly duck at all, but really was a beautiful swan. He found his flock and fit right in. He was transformed.
Common to all of us is the desire to be heard, seen and understood. Many of us can relate to this archetypal story of not fitting in and finding ourselves teased, attacked or excluded. We continued to look for and hoped to find “our people”, our flock or our tribe. In the journey of doing so, we often changed our opinions or beliefs. Sometimes we gave up our voice and became silent, all in an attempt to fit in.
So often I hear someone telling another person what “the truth” is and insist on what they “should” be doing or thinking. Communication becomes about what is right or wrong. Opinions become polarized and those who do not agree with either the loudest voice or the group voice can be intimidated, shamed or alienated.
Over the years, the precious beliefs developed as young people get lost in the mass of voices and one’s self-esteem takes a hit. So often when working with clients, the undercurrent of their situation is a feeling of being unworthy or undeserving. How others have treated them guides their beliefs about themselves.
What would happen if, instead of stating your opinion and telling someone what you think, you asked the person to explain more about what they were saying? Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how your relationships change if you went into conversations with the sole purpose of understanding their point of view. How would your posture change if you were there just to receive, to just hear the story?
My focus is on Relationship for the New Year. I challenge you in the month of January, and hopefully throughout the year, to practice “just listening.”
Now, there will be times to share your opinion and have debates of course, and to enjoy the fun and creativity of a dispute, but let’s change it up a bit. Think about a few people in your life that are important to you. Make a conscious choice to have a couple conversations with them where you just “hold the space” for their musings, for their sharing, for how they see the world. Experience them deeply. Look into their eyes and be present to them. Give them the gift of being heard, seen, and understood. Bring them into your fold and see them as the swan they truly are. Allow your loved ones to be transformed by the incredible generosity of your listening.
Candess M. Campbell, PhD is the #1 Best-selling author of 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine. She is an international Psychic Medium, Intuitive Consultant, Speaker, and has practiced as a mental health and chemical dependency counselor for over 30 years.
I am delighted to share with you this great information about the Saboteur’s Moon by Jon Waldrup, an Incarnational Astrologer. This is especially significant to me because I work with Karma and Clearing Karma. He explains it so well!
The first Full Moon of 2012 is tonight, January 8th at 11:30 PM Pacific Time. This is the Saboteur’s Moon. It wants to help us see how we compromise our heart-knowing in order to be comfortable, functional, accepted, etc. It wants to show us how allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable and exposed by our truth helps to set us free. For whenever we do ignore our heart’s truth in favor of fitting in, we close the karmic loop and make sure we go for another lap.
And with the Sun in Capricorn, what we would prefer to say is that our heart’s truth is always loving and light, so why would we ever disguise it? And how could there be shadow in our hearts?
There are so many angles to come from on that. If Romeo and Juliet is the world’s greatest love story then fatal co-dependence is love? I would say probably not, but it is a story of two people who lived from their hearts. They were certainly not afraid of being vulnerable, were they?
One of the shadow aspects of 20th century spirituality had to do with how many ways we were taught to suppress our karma, rather than live in it. Karma itself was given a bad name – who wants to deal with karma? The truth is that karma is actually the bridge between fate and destiny. It wants to help us to live Alive in Heaven on Earth.
If you are driving your car through an intersection and someone runs a red light and creams you, this is an example of Fate. The karmic piece of it has to do with how you deal with the emotions involved in the aftermath. Fate gives you the opportunity to work with your karma in order for you to grow towards your destiny.
Your karma is the particular tone of the shadow you are working with in this lifetime – rage, depression, dependence, etc. The karmic piece is the emotional piece. Our destiny is to understand the oneness, the perfection, of all of life – including fate and karma. Then we are on the spiral instead of the wheel.
So, it was fate that brought Romeo and Juliet together, so that they could explore the shadows of co-dependent love. And they did! And that is what makes their story so compelling. There is so much about their story that we could call unhealthy – we can look down on such organic, emotional, exposed ways of being.
But is that life? Why did your soul choose to come in to this plane, to have a heart that can be broken, that can lead you astray, that can expose you to shame and torment? Fate gives you the chance to live in your heart. Karma seeks to teach you that Life itself is Heavenly.
What I think is that because he went “all the way” with what his heart was asking him to do in response to the fateful relationship with Juliet, in his next life, perhaps Romeo was able to live quivering inside with gratitude for having had the chance to love so deeply – he was able to taste the anguish of loss and find it delicious. He was able to move beyond regret.
Will you accept The Invitation? Or will you live on the wheel of emotional avoidance?
Here is a smaller example. What if you know one thing and say another? Maybe something that you’ve expressed as truth for a long time turns out to be false. Maybe you’ve put a lot of heart into a certain moralistic stance and new experience points out the failings of your dogmatism. There is real vulnerability in admitting that you were wrong. And yet if you can, if you do, life springs forth from that and you find yourself further up the spiral.
The wisest person I have ever spoken with said to me, “I am most grateful for those times in my life when I was most out of control.” In other words, when the shadows in his heart came out, when he was most vulnerable to that sanitized, patriarchal way of looking at things that wants us to remain “in control” (i.e. Sun in Capricorn). Sometimes we have to say we’re sorry. So that we may grow.
The Saboteur is in us to point out ways in which we hide our truth. The patriarchal response to that is to suppress those aspects of ourselves which are outside the comfort zone. In that way of looking at things, those who live “with their heart on their sleeve” are to be looked down upon.
The truth is in your heart, and keeping it hidden keeps you on the wheel. When you express your truth, you go up the spiral.
This Full Moon, the first of 2012, is helping us to see how we have kept our truth hidden so that we may live within a dying civilization. How many laps on the wheel does it take to show us that the comfortable ways are getting us nowhere?
Tonight at 11:30 PM Pacific Time, the Moon, who teaches us our karma, is in the 19th Degree of Cancer. The Chandra symbol for this degree is, “An opossum comes out into the moonlight.” Let your vulnerable heart be seen. Allow yourself to experience your emotions, and to find life itself through them. Oh, it can hurt! Are you afraid?
Believe in Heaven, and that is what you will see.
Bless your heart,
In this video I assist you in gaining your own intuitive information through the Truth/Lie Rose. I learned this process in a workshop with The Church of Divine Man.