It’s has been awhile since I blogged here and I want to catch you up. In December I decided to have my thyroid removed. Most of you know that holistic medicine is important to me and I talk about this in my book 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine.
After finding I had a lump in my throat attached to my thyroid, rather than taking the doctor’s suggestion to have surgery I chose having ultrasounds every six months while I worked on self-healing. At first the growth stayed the same, but then another lump began to grow on the other side. The physical risk was that it would grow and wrap around my esophagus. I decided to have my thyroid removed. There was an emotional attachment to keeping all my organs, but this turned out to be a great decision.
My energy is much better and I can shift my weight now by diet and exercise, whereas before it was difficult to affect a change. It took some time to recover and much has happened since then which I’ll share in future blogs.
Today I want to share with you a video I listened to this morning as I walked Domingo along the Spokane river. This is Esther Hicks channeling Abraham. The topic is Weight Loss and Vibrational Pre-Paving which is “Thinking about a positive outcome from the action you’re about to take part in.” Enjoy!
“The idea in our culture of body solely as sculpture is Wrong. Body is not marble. That is not its purpose. It’s purpose is to protect, contain, support, and fire the spirit and soul within it, to be a repository for memory, to fill us with feeling – that is the supreme psychic nourishment. It is to lift us and propel us, to fill us with the feeling to prove that we exist, that we are here, to give us grounding, heft, weight. It is wrong to think of it as a place we leave in order to soar to the spirit. The body is the launcher of those experiences. Without body there would be no sensations of crossing thresholds, there would be no sense of lifting, no sense of height, weightlessness. All that comes from the body. The body is the rocket launcher. In its nose capsule, the soul looks out the window into the mysterious starry night and is dazzled.”
– Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes Women Who Run with the Wolves
Penance, reminded my brother is a very lonely place.
Okay, I was back to the gym and Luke, my trainer changed up my routine. In the racquetball court he set up a ladder. Okay, I was ready to do penance since I exercised less that I would have liked when he was on vacation. I felt like an athlete running through these ropes.
Luke asked me if I was okay with myself or upset with myself since I didn’t follow through with the program he set up for me to do when he was gone. That was a good question. The truth is, I have been loving and compassionate with myself in this process of losing weight and increasing my health.
At this point, I need to eat less to continue losing weight and I need to increase my cardio. What I noticed is that on the days I went to the gym I walked Domingo longer and more often. I was more active all day long. On the days I didn’t go to the gym, I was less active.
Today, I’m not ready to make a specific commitment toward increasing cardio on a regular basis, but in the twilight state tonight, right before I fall asleep, I will prime my subconscious by seeing myself doing several activities to raise my heart rate such as riding my bike, walking faster or running, and my favorite – dancing!
I believe in being gentle with myself. Having adrenal fatigue has taught me that pushing myself just pushes me down, and encouraging, loving, and rewarding myself allows me to be positive and honest with myself.
When people say “If I only knew then what I know now” makes me wonder why they aren’t using that wisdom now.
As much as Luke Brady prepared me before he left on vacation, I didn’t follow through. At the gym he went over all my exercises and weights and wrote them down. Today I have a training appointment with Luke and although I am looking forward to getting back on track, my feet are dragging.
What I did do while he was on vacation. Weights at home, Yoga at the Yasodhara Yoga Center, road my recumbent bike and walked Domingo at least once a day. Nevertheless, it was not enough!
Previously, I blogged about accountability and this is a great testament to my needing to be held accountable. Although my feet are dragging, I am ready to get back to it!
Wish me luck!
(And for all my clients who I hold accountable and know me to be a tough counselor or coach; this is your one chance to call me on walking my talk!)
If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.
Into the third month of my health plan, I’m getting to a place of complacency. What is showing up is the problem underneath . . . which for me has been stress.
My stress as I have shared, comes from doing too much. I won’t go into all that I do. Many of us do too much!
What I will say though is I notice when I over-function, I experience stress. Because I love what I do, I often don’t take the necessary time to rest. Stress is stress! Whether you are having fun or in chaos, it is still stress.
I am happy that I have lost some weight, feel better in my clothes, get compliments, but mostly, I am happy that I feel like I am in control of my life.
My focus for the next few days is to be conscious of what I am doing. Is it necessary? Fun? Relaxing?
This morning I awoke and lie in bed next to Domingo and read Scandalous Housewives: Mumbai on my Kindle. Now, that was relaxing. I enjoyed the comfort of my bed, seeing the tops of the trees and the sky out the window and having a fresh cup of coffee as I lost myself in the lives of these Indian women.
For me what has been under my weight gain has been stress.
Other reasons we may gain weight:
Living in the past
Lack of planning around food
Underlying health issues
Lack of education
There are so many more.
Hope you are using your journal to connect more deeply with yourSelf in your own process toward better health.
Some sentence stems to play with . . .
If you have not used the Sentence Stems yet, you can find how to do this here!
I become stressed when . . .
I unwind best by . . .
If I nurtured myself I would . . .
”Our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies.”
– Frank Gillette Burgess
I started the day today with working out at the gym with my trainer Luke Brady. It feels great to become stronger, but I have to be careful. As I wrote about in my book, when my energy was low, I worked out four or more days a week at Curves trying to increase my stamina and to become stronger. The problem was, my adrenals were shot! This plummeted me down into a health crisis and I could hardly do anything for about a year.
After my first full hour of training with Luke on Friday, later I realized I was wiped out. Today, although we had an hour scheduled, I knew it was too much. We both agreed that 30 minutes of weights and then some stretching worked better. Love the child’s pose!
Several years ago, after wiping out my adrenals with too much work and then too much working out, I was really afraid to exercise. That is when I gained all the weight and ultimately didn’t feel healthy. Now, as I work out at the gym, I feel like I am honoring my body by listening to it and knowing when it is too much. I want to push myself to become strong and build muscle, but when I feel light headed and dizzy and know it is too much. Today I can make up to my body by listening and honoring her!
Luke and I have both been on the same page as far as my workouts go and I feel really supported by him. It is really nice to have him to talk with and validate my experiences and give me the gems of knowledge he has as a professional athletic trainer. It’s all good!
“What other people think of you is none of your business.” – unknown
As much as this quote can be helpful: at times, what people think of me is important! The journey to health, eating less food, making healthier choices and working with a personal trainer is paying off.
One of my clients today said she could really see a difference in the changes in my body. Last week in one day, three people commented on how much thinner I looked.
It truly feels good to get this feedback. What feels great is how my clothes are fitting. I like that my waist is coming back and when I walk I feel lighter.
My tendency is to be loving and kind to myself and have positive self-talk. I also enjoy becoming my best Self!
Hope you are following along and seeing results too.
Today would be a great day to use your journal to start a gratitude list.
I am grateful that I am clear on my path toward health.
I am grateful that Domingo reminds me to walk every morning.
I am grateful I am motivated.
I am grateful I allowed myself a personal trainer.
I am grateful that I can use humor and laugh at myself.
I am grateful when I crave sugar I am happy to choose fruit.
I am grateful organizing a drawer distracts me until my craving passes.
I am grateful I have friends who are supportive of my journey.
I am grateful I can be honest with myself in my journal.
I am grateful I use my journal to process feelings that may cause me to eat.
“What we all want, really, is to be loved. That craving drives our worst behavior.”
Creating a blog can motivate the success of any goal. Sharing my experience losing weight, eating healthy and exercising has been monumental in my success. The feedback I am receiving, private and public, tells me the the blog is helping you too!
In addition to blogging there is also journaling, but they are very different experiences. With blogging, although I am writing to motivate myself, I have an audience. Being public gives me pause not to share some private thoughts and behaviors. In my journal, I have the freedom to say it all.
When journaling, I write anything and often what comes out comes from a place other than my conscious mind. You will see this in my August 8th journal post “Journaled my Breakthrough.”
When you journal another part of yourself shows up and can be empowering. Maybe it is a nurturing voice that encourages you so that you stay on track. It could be a harsh voice that keeps you in line, and you listen.
Journaling prior to eating something or to motivate you to get moving can be powerful! For instance, let’s say you want to have a cup of ice cream (my fav!) Well, if you are like me, it is unlikely a cup of ice cream would be it. Once I start with ice cream, it seduces me to the bottom of the carton. Full disclosure – I would never buy a size larger than a pint and usually I buy the single serving sizes, times two.
So instead of eating ice cream – or in my case going to the store to by ice cream (never have it around) you might want to journal.
I have developed a journal process for you to use in my 12 Weeks Toolbox.
Find a journal and fast writing pen and set the timer for 10 minutes. Keep writing and don’t stop even if you have to write, I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to say over and over until you break through. Eventually, you can work up to 20 minutes.
Use these sentence stems to get your journal process started. Each one can be a 10 – 20 minute timed writing.
What I love about myself is . . .
I am really hungry for . . .
What frustrates me is . . .
If I had more time . . .
Hunger and cravings can be caused by emotions that are buried. Stress is also a factor in overeating, eating when you’re not hungry and eating unhealthy foods . Often after journaling, the craving to eat or drink just dissipates.
Play around with journaling when your cravings are gnawing at you for a week and see what happens.
Candess M. Campbell, PhD is the author of 12 Weeks to Self-Healing: Transforming Pain through Energy Medicine. Her upcoming book on Sentence Stems will be published soon!
“It’s probably my job to tell you life isn’t fair, but I figure you already know that. So instead, I’ll tell you that hope is precious, and you’re right not to give up.” ― C.J. Redwine, Defiance
This series of blogs called iwannabeaskinnybitch.com began July 30, 2014. This has been my journey into health, exercise and weight loss after having a breakthrough in the journal class I was facilitating on the Fifth Chakra – The Power of Communication. You can read the whole story in this blog, but it ended with clear communication with mySelf and getting a personal trainer for exercise.
Well, I just about lost it! I was on a great path, being motivated and eating well and losing weight. Then I had some oral surgery which involved Hydrocodone, the withdrawal from Hydrocodone. Ugh!
Even though, Domingo walked me daily and we took some incredibly beautiful long walks. The day I was scheduled to go back to the gym, it was a rainy day. After a series of really hot days, I really wanted to just curl up and read.
I could see how I would have found all kinds of excuses not to go to the gym. Then I would be upset with myself and possibly give up on the process all together.
My scheduled appointment with Luke Brady was a godsend! I looked forward to his reminder text and showed up wimpy and disheveled. I just about lost it – I almost gave up. Instead – I left the gym energized, feeling hot, happy, motivated and back on track.
Whatever your struggle to get healthy, whether it be changes in diet, increasing your movement or educating yourself about your body, mind, Spirit connections – invest in yourSelf! Don’t give up!