“The idea in our culture of body solely as sculpture is Wrong. Body is not marble. That is not its purpose. It’s purpose is to protect, contain, support, and fire the spirit and soul within it, to be a repository for memory, to fill us with feeling – that is the supreme psychic nourishment. It is to lift us and propel us, to fill us with the feeling to prove that we exist, that we are here, to give us grounding, heft, weight. It is wrong to think of it as a place we leave in order to soar to the spirit. The body is the launcher of those experiences. Without body there would be no sensations of crossing thresholds, there would be no sense of lifting, no sense of height, weightlessness. All that comes from the body. The body is the rocket launcher. In its nose capsule, the soul looks out the window into the mysterious starry night and is dazzled.”
– Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes Women Who Run with the Wolves
If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.
Into the third month of my health plan, I’m getting to a place of complacency. What is showing up is the problem underneath . . . which for me has been stress.
My stress as I have shared, comes from doing too much. I won’t go into all that I do. Many of us do too much!
What I will say though is I notice when I over-function, I experience stress. Because I love what I do, I often don’t take the necessary time to rest. Stress is stress! Whether you are having fun or in chaos, it is still stress.
I am happy that I have lost some weight, feel better in my clothes, get compliments, but mostly, I am happy that I feel like I am in control of my life.
My focus for the next few days is to be conscious of what I am doing. Is it necessary? Fun? Relaxing?
This morning I awoke and lie in bed next to Domingo and read Scandalous Housewives: Mumbai on my Kindle. Now, that was relaxing. I enjoyed the comfort of my bed, seeing the tops of the trees and the sky out the window and having a fresh cup of coffee as I lost myself in the lives of these Indian women.
For me what has been under my weight gain has been stress.
Other reasons we may gain weight:
Living in the past
Lack of planning around food
Underlying health issues
Lack of education
There are so many more.
Hope you are using your journal to connect more deeply with yourSelf in your own process toward better health.
Some sentence stems to play with . . .
If you have not used the Sentence Stems yet, you can find how to do this here!
I become stressed when . . .
I unwind best by . . .
If I nurtured myself I would . . .
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”
― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon
Everyone I talk to and everything I read says “do not weight yourself everyday.” Well, you know what? I weigh myself every day. If I didn’t I think I’d weigh a ton. My eating doesn’t always correspond with my weight gain and it helps me to have a regulator. Weight can fluctuate from day to day depending on several factors such as alcohol intake, salt intake, water retention, hormones, the moon time for women and on and on.
I have kept a record of my weight in a notebook, off and on since September 2006. It motivates me to shift my eating and increase exercise. I understand that weight fluctuates. Weighing myself is a symbol, a way to chart, and a measurable goal. I don’t want to take my measurements daily. The scale is great feedback.
As I look back over my daily weight chart, I see that my lowest recorded weight was on November 19, 2008. I wonder what was happening then. I’ll have to go back through my journal. That was the year I traveled to Japan and also Ireland to facilitate workshops. It was a fun year.
When I told Luke, my trainer that I weigh myself daily, he shared it would be a good idea to compare my weight from one day of the week to the next. I thought this was brilliant. So this Wednesday morning I weighed myself and compared to last Wednesday. I am down three pounds! Now, Domingo is ready to walk me and then I’m off to the gym to see Luke!
Weigh or not, you can find the measureable feedback you need to keep yourself on track.
In another blog I’ll talk about loving self-talk. This is critical to a healthy shift in your weight.
Searched Trainers today on the website of the gym I belong to. Saw one that looked like he would fit. His bio read Spine/back strengthening, weight loss, muscle gain, progressing and regressing exercises as needed. Each client’s program is individually goal specific. It also read Interests: Basketball and spending time with family and friends. Of course, I checked out his profile on FB and continued to get a good sense of him.
I called and made an appointment.
Oh, did I tell you that I am doing some online dating now? I look at my dating profile and the one thing about myself that I don’t like is – I had to mark “a few extra pounds.” I screen out men who are hunters and smokers. I am sure some men screen out women who carry extra weight.
I’m not going to get into the issue of how society sees women, judgment of men who won’t date fat women, etc. The issue really is I don’t see myself as a woman with extra pounds. My internal self is fit and healthy and loves to work out. Just need to get my outer self to match!